Chapter 29
29
Skye Simmons
I’d heard the banging around through the walls coming from Gray’s apartment. I’d worried that something was wrong. He’d had a hard day and I was worried. The news covered the fire, they’d interviewed others that were on scene. It was horrible, and I wasn’t even there. I can’t imagine what Gray and the other firefighters were feeling.
My first instinct was to check on him.
Now I’m wishing I hadn’t.
My chest is on fire, I can barely breathe.
Gia looks up, and the very second her eyes connect with mine the corner of her mouth tips up in a satisfied smirk. Movement over her shoulder gains my attention and to see the red lipstick smeared on the side of Gray’s mouth makes me feel sick to my stomach.
When Gia reaches the door, me standing just outside, she leans in closer. “I knew it was only a matter of time before he got sick of playing house. He’s not the kind of guy that can stay committed to one person, he never has been.”
Stepping out into the hallway she turns and starts to walk toward the stairs, walking with a confidence that I hate.
“Skye.” Glancing back I see Gray walking toward me and I hold my hand up, making his steps falter.
“No.” I shake my head. “I can’t.”
Backing up I turn and start moving toward my front door. My mind is racing, my heart feels like it’s split in two, and I can barely breathe.
“Baby, please.”
I couldn’t hear his words but honestly I just needed some space. I had to think, I may even need to cry, but I want to be alone when I do.
“Will you wait, it’s not what you think.”
“Maybe she’s right,” I say without thinking.
“Give me a break here.” He lifts his hand to catch my front door as I attempt to shut it. Following me into my apartment he closes the door behind him and I spin around to face him.
“You got pulled into a ready-made family.” The words rush from my lips. “Maybe you’re afraid to admit that it’s not what you want. Maybe you’ve wanted a way out and someone that knows you would have been able to do that. Maybe I don’t know you like she does.”
“You and Tori are exactly what I want,” he confesses. “Jesus will you slow down for a fucking minute.”
I don’t want to do this right now, I can’t. I feel so raw.
Turning around I try to retreat to my room only to be stopped when he grabs hold of my wrist and holds me in place.
“I’m not going to let her plant these doubts.” He turns me back around. Only I can’t look at him. “This is bullshit.”
It’s not how I’d imagined our night going. I’d hoped that he ended up coming over and that I’d somehow be able to make him feel better after the night he’d had while on shift. But he’d found comfort in Gia instead.
“Nothing Gia said is true. I don’t want to run, I’m not waiting for a way to escape. I’m right fucking here.” His hand comes out in front of us as he points to the floor. “Right where I want to be, with you.”
Tears pool in my eyes and I blink feeling them run along my cheeks.
“Baby, she doesn’t know me, you know me.”
I lift my gaze, and he cups my cheek, leaning in like he is going to kiss me. Only the evidence of what had taken place slaps me in the face hard.
Placing my hand on his chest I push back and he seems surprised. His brows furrow and his lips part.
“Her lipstick is still on your mouth.” And with that I walk to my room, close the door and flip the lock.
Sitting on the end of my bed, I let the tears fall. When I hear the sound of my front door closing, I lay back on my bed and curl into myself, pulling the blankets tight.
The bed dips at my side and I hold my breath, unsure of who’s entered my room. It’s dark, the apartment had been silent for hours until I’d fallen asleep. Now I’m not sure what the time actually is.
When I feel a hand rest on my arm and gently rub I know it’s not Gray. To be honest I’m thankful. I’m not sure I want to face him now. I’m not sure I even want to see him tomorrow. My emotions are all over the place. My doubts are through the roof, I’m confused, I’m hurt.
“Skye.” The sound of Vivian’s voice is comforting though I know she’s here because she knows. Which means Gray has talked to her.
“I’m fine,” I whisper in the darkness.
“Sweets, you are so far away from fine it’s not even in the same zip code.” She moves in closer and wraps me in a hug. That’s when the tears start to fall once again and this time I do nothing to stop them.
“Oh honey.” She turns me over so that I am forced to look at her. Wiping at the tears, she grabs a Kleenex off the nightstand and hands it to me. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“No,” I sit up and take the Kleenex from her, “but I do want to drink.”
Vivian looks at me with concern but I ignore it. Maybe alcohol isn’t the best option, but forgetting sounds nice.
She follows me out of my bedroom and into the kitchen. I notice she is wearing pajamas and I look at the clock on the microwave noticing it’s after midnight.
“Who called you?” I ask as I reach for the vodka in the cabinet above the refrigerator. Then the orange juice and grenadine. As I add it all to the cup the vodka to orange juice ratio is way off.
Turning to face Viv she looks down at my cup and frowns. “Listen, I’m all for drowning out the shit, but maybe you should stop and think for a bit.”
“Who called you?” I ask again, refusing to let her ignore my question.
“Scarlett.” With a shrug she sits opposite me at the kitchen table. “She’s with Gray.”
I stare at the cup in my hands.
“He said that Gia?—”
“I don’t care,” I interrupt her. “Right now, I don’t care.”
I don’t want to talk about it now. I want to ignore that the last twenty four hours even existed. I want to go back prior to his last shift and remember how sweet he was. Showing up with pizza, playing video games with Tori after he brought over his PlayStation console and hooked it up to our television. The two of them laughing and teaming up to beat out everyone else that had joined the battle.
I want to ignore that everything we’ve shared over the last several weeks may have come to an end. I don’t want to think about what it may be like going forward without him in our lives.
Lifting my glass, I bring it to my lips and start to drink.
I want to forget.