Chapter 10
Ten
-MILO-
It’s pretty dark in this police cell. And the senior cop is making light of our situation, while we shiver, wrapped in grey blankets.
“So, was it a dare?” he asks. He casually strokes his salt and pepper beard and smirks, like he’s seen it all. “I mean, you’re not drunk. And you’re definitely not tripping. Or have the drugs worn off?”
“No, sir,” I answer, staring back like a deer in the headlights.
Common sense, the laws of nature, none of it explains how we became naked. And I’ve been wrestling with these thoughts trying to find perspective.
All I sense is my sanity slipping.
By now, the photos people took of our naked selves have been uploaded. Without my phone, I have no way to control the narrative. I don’t even know if I’ll be recognised, but if I am, I’ll either gain sleazy fans or my current followers will think I’m crazy. Or daring.
The cop laughs, bringing me back to this moment in time. This confusing moment in time.
“We didn’t take drugs,” Grayson says to the copper.
“Then how...?” The policeman shrugs.
“We’re trying to bring back streaking.” Grayson doesn’t sound convincing.
“That’s a trend way before either of you were born,” he jokes. I’m relieved he’s kind. I don’t need the drama of a bad-arsed cop reprimanding us. This night has been weird enough. “My colleague will take your statements in the morning. Now, try and get some sleep.” He leaves us.
“Are you cold?” I ask Grayson.
He nods, and I welcome the chance to hold him again. So, I huddle next to him and wrap my arm around him, just as I did outside.
He’s a bit distant. Like he’s got a secret. I don’t know if I should question him. My mind is so muddled, I’ve convinced myself he knows why we’re naked. Our clothes disappeared right after Grayson sneezed.
I shake my head. It was a stupid thought. There’s no way the two events are related.
“I need to tell you something, Milo.”
Grayson is frowning. Shit. He knows why. Although he sounds like he’s about to confess a murder. I can’t peg him for a killer, but now that I think about it, there’s a remote trait to his personality.
I’m being silly. My brain is foggy because there’s no logical reason to explain our nudity.
“I really need to share something.” Grayson is adamant.
“Is it about how we became naked?”
“Uh huh.” Grayson keeps opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish gasping for air. But no words come out.
My chest is thumping, like my heart wants to escape and will burst through my ribcage any minute. I’m not sure I want the answer, but I do, then I don’t.
He’s covering his mouth, as if he’s stopping himself from telling me.
“What is it, Grayson?”
He shakes his head over and over. This isn’t easy for him.
“Just say it.”
“I’m a wizard,” he finally blurts.
I’m trying to work out if he’s joking because Grayson is watching me with the same intensity I’m watching him.
“When I sneeze, shit happens. I’m new to all this, so I can’t control it. No, Milo, don’t move away. I can’t risk another sneeze.”
It’s implausible but what other reason could there be for losing clothes?
Grayson pinches his nose but it looks like he can’t stop the inevitable.
A tiger appears. What the...?
I yelp, too scared to scream. It eyes me, licking its lips. It is on the other side of the solitary toilet which I suddenly need to use. But I’m clenching my butt cheeks hard. Those Pilates sessions haven’t been in vain.
“Don’t take your eyes off it,” Grayson murmurs. “They only attack from behind, so make sure it knows we are in front of it.”
The tiger isn’t agitated, but there’s no way I’m moving from this cement bench.
“Why is it here?” There’s a quiver in my voice.
“I told you,” Grayson whispers.
“This is beyond reason.”
“I know.”
It’s hard to doubt what’s in front of me. “Couldn’t you make something friendly appear? Like a kitten?”
“Well, a tiger is a cat.”
“Not funny, Grayson. Can you do something? What happens if you sneeze again?”
“Anything can happen if I sneeze again. It might shrink. Who knows?”
I keep one eye on the tiger while I tickle Grayson’s nose, but my hand is trembling and I almost poke his eye out. So I blow air toward Grayson’s nostrils.
The tiger growls. Its sinister snarl reverbs off the concrete walls of the cell.
I scream, and the tiger peers like it’s ready to eat.
Grayson hiccups, then lets out an almighty sneeze, vocalising his ‘a choo’ for added oomph.
The tiger lifts its head just as it turns into a mouse and scurries out between the prison bars.
I still need that toilet. “Grayson, look away.”
“Why?”
I jump onto the metal latrine. Grayson pulls his blanket over his head, giving me privacy.
“Milo, we’re breaking down barriers,” he jokes. His voice is muffled under the cover, but I understood what he said.
“This is not funny.”
“We’re in a prison cell. Chances are, I’ll need to take a—”
“Yes. But right now, it’s me on the toilet.”
“What’s worse? Confronting a tiger or taking a—?”
“Knowing you’re a warlock with no control.” I fart. “Ignore that.”
The cop returns. “What was that noise?”
“Can I have a bit of privacy?” I yell.
“It sounded like a lion,” the cop says.
“Or a tiger,” Grayson adds, uncovering his face.
I’m impatient. And bewildered. “Guys, a little privacy please. This is fifty shades of awkward!”
The policeman covers his eyes. “Are you making zoo noises in here?”
I turn to Grayson. “I said privacy.”
Grayson snarls, mimicking the tiger, then covers himself with the blanket again.
“It sounded louder than that,” the cop replies.
Grayson quickly shows his face again, roars, then hides himself.
“For goodness’ sake,” I bark. “Why are you having this conversation while I’m trying to take a... well, you can see what I’m trying to do. I’m not a performance artist putting on a show!”
The cop grins. “Sorry. I’m used to having hardnosed lawbreakers in here and they take pride using the loo. It’s their way to stick it to authority.”
“Do I look like a criminal with attitude?”
“Well, I guess—"
“Out!”
“Sorry.” He meanders off, whistling.
“Do you know how awkward this is?” I say. “Forget the naked frolic in the park fiasco. Now I’m out in the open on...” I shake my head.
“Just concentrate on what you need to do. Then we can have a conversation.”
But I’m having trouble even though my stomach is tied in knots.
“Have you got stage fright?” Grayson asks.
“Hum. Sing something. This is embarrassing.”
Grayson croons “la la la” over and over.
“Louder!”
He evokes his inner opera diva, his voice booming theatrically under the blanket.
I shut my eyes to block out reality but it doesn’t help. Then I remember the hungry expression on the tiger’s face. It works. My butt unclenches.
“Are you scared of me?” Grayson asks, his voice still stifled under the blanket. “It’s just that I didn’t want you to know I’m a wizard and the reason I didn’t show up at the museum is because I sneezed and...” He groans. “I was a dog, then I was a human with a dog’s head and paws.”
“You were Dogman?” He’s stunned me, and for a moment, I forget the predicament I’m in. “You went viral. I saw the pics but thought they were all fake.”
“I’m an accidental celebrity.”
I’m less self-conscious, until I remember what I’m doing and how awful it is Grayson is here while I’m doing it.
He doesn’t speak, and every sound I make adds to my humiliation. Finally, I flush away my shame. And now my confusion has turned to curiosity.
“So, the alcoholic friend was just an excuse.” I’m about to ramble, trying to make sense of the absurd. “Although, I can see why you used an excuse. Leading with ‘I was a dog’ wouldn’t have led to drinks.”
Grayson uncovers his face. “The alcoholic friend is real.”
He grins softly, admiring my body, and I’m standing here, letting him as I need to move on from my indignity.
“Sorry. I’m gawking.” He mopes.
“Hey. I just took a, you know, with you in the room. Let’s both put it behind us.” I may sound at ease, but I’m not sure I am. “Sorry about the odour.”
“What odour?” Grayson grins, clearly lying.
“Well, if the tiger didn’t appear...”
“You might still be constipated.”
“This is the weirdest start to...”
Grayson beams. “A romance?”
I naturally have doubts. But I don’t want to express them.
“You don’t want to date a guy with a paranormal problem,” Grayson answers for me.
“Well...” Up until the tiger, I was keen. And I still want to snuggle with Grayson under one blanket. “Let’s sleep on it.”
“But you’re not serious about us. I can tell.”
I have no words. And Grayson is lifting his feet onto the bench, taking up less room. He’s gazing at me like I’m the one that got away.