Chapter 28 #2
“Obviously not in Penelope’s case.” I stare at Maude. “When Albert ghosted me, I let his disappearance bolster the opinion I had of myself. I suffered for way too long, believing I was worthless just because of his actions.”
Maude isn’t replying. She’s pondering.
“But Penelope has shown me I’m not worthless.
She brought me gifts out of love.” I gaze at Milo.
“And my boyfriend has also shown me I’m not worthless.
” I catch Maude’s stare. “And so have you, Maude. I know how supportive you can be. And you told me Penelope is a good friend, and that I need a friend. Be kind to her, Maude; she deserves the respect you give me.”
There’s a long uncomfortable silence until Maude reaches for my hand.
I hold it, but she clutches, firming her grip.
I still don’t understand why she treated Penelope that way.
Okay, Penelope hit the bottle because of Maude’s constant criticism, but why criticise?
Was Maude also given tough love as a child?
Petra gives me another half nod, and Milo eyes me like he’s also trying to find the missing piece of this puzzle. Then he becomes distracted.
“Mum’s struggling with her shopping bags,” he says.
We stare anxiously at the TV. Amelia sways like a pirate with a wooden leg, her body moving from side to side, counterbalancing the weight of her groceries.
“I’ll slow her down. Get ready!” Milo rushes out the front door.
“Amelia’s here!” Maude yells so Penelope and Doris can hear. But as she stands, she sniffles, and she knows I’ve caught this vulnerable moment. Even Penelope notices Maude’s reserve once we gather.
“You’ve got this,” Maude says to her, softly.
“So have you,” Penelope replies, mystified.
Maude and Penelope twirl their umbrellas from the living room while Petra and Doris block the hallway, spinning theirs. I watch from the couch while Milo stands next to his mum.
Amelia doesn’t seem fazed by these women. As she ambles closer to Maude and Penelope, they increase their spin. But I press my back into the sofa as if that will save me if Amelia gets peckish.
“You are in my power,” Doris declares. Amelia turns to her. “And you’ve been a very naughty girl.”
“You have weird friends, Milo,” Amelia says. “Where did you meet them?”
“You are in Doris’s power,” he replies. “You’ve eaten too many people and now it’s time to change.”
“Really, Milo?” Yet as Amelia looks back and forth at the umbrella-wielding witches, her eyeballs turn in circles. “Why are you twirling and twirling and twirling...?” Her voice is trancelike, and a bit melodic.
“We’re here to introduce you to the wonderful world of veganism,” Doris tells her in the same sing-song tone.
“What? No meat? No human flesh?”
“And no eggs or dairy products,” Doris replies.
“But won’t that taste bland?”
“Mum, you’ve bought enough condiments to drown a pet.
” Milo’s voice is also musical, like he’s summoning a spirit at a seance.
He takes the shopping bags from her and places them on the carpet.
“Even cardboard will taste good with...” He reaches into a bag and pulls out a bottle. “...with Tiffiny’s Tabasco Sauce.”
“You will never crave meat again,” Penelope adds. “Or eggs. Or milk. Unless it’s almond or soy.”
“And it will be great for your figure,” Petra says.
“But I can control my weight,” Amelia replies. “Won’t the lack of iron be bad for my workouts?”
“What workouts?” Milo has lost his tuneful tone.
“I raise the bones of the dead like they are dumbbells.” She faces her son. “I’ve resurrected my workout routine.”
“Mum, look.” He points at Doris and Petra who rotate their umbrellas faster.
“What will you eat from now on?” Doris asks.
“My pesky neighbours.”
“But they taste like...” Doris quickly eyes Milo. “What’s a food your mother hates?”
“Sushi.” Milo grins.
“They taste like seaweed and raw fish.” Doris steps forward, walking her spiralling umbrella towards the zombie mother. “Like seaweed and raw fish. Seaweed and raw fish.” The witches join Doris in backing Amelia into a corner. “Seaweed and raw fish! Amelia, I now pronounce you a vegan!”
“A vegan?” Amelia asks.
“Yes. Give me a V!”
“V!” Amelia cries.
“Give me an E,” we all chant.
“E!”
“Give me a G,” we say.
“I get it. I’m a vegan! With a ridiculous number of condiments.”
And with that, Amelia sinks slowly down the wall onto the carpet. Her loud snores follow.
“Should we take her to bed?” Milo asks.
I glance at the witches, then pull out my wand. With more glitter magic, his mum levitates. I guide her to her bedroom, allowing her to fall softly onto her bed. Then I close the door behind me.
When I return to the others, Milo is thanking Doris, while Petra conjures the revolving door back to the magic realm.
But it’s not the front door which has been converted.
The glass structure is rotating to the left of the television because Petra is fixated on what my security camera is broadcasting.
I glance at the television. Maude and Penelope are chatting on the front lawn so I pick up the remote and raise the volume. We settle in for primetime viewing.
“But I never understood why you’ve been so hard on me?” Penelope is keeping her cool.
I point my wand at the screen, making the camera zoom in.
Maude looks up at the late afternoon sky, meekly, then returns her gaze to Penelope. “Do you know how hard it is to bring up a child when you resent the reason you’re doing so?”
“I figured that out a long time ago.”
“But isn’t Maude her mother?” Milo asks.
“Penelope’s mother is Maude’s sister,” Petra replies.
“Don’t be so shocked,” Doris says. “It’s an easy assumption to make.”
“You see,” Petra begins, “Maude’s sister is a wild child, and she kept taking baby Penelope to parties, then forgetting about her.
So, Maude would find her infant niece left in her basinet in strangers’ homes, while her sister was off with a man she picked up, or at another party too wasted to remember she had responsibilities. ”
“Like mother, like daughter.” Milo had the same thought I had.
“And Maude rejects her for it,” Petra adds.
“So, Maude drove Penelope to drink.” I’m convinced Penelope would never have hit the bottle without the constant criticism.
“Look.” Milo is pointing at the screen.
Maude and Penelope are hugging each other, awkwardly.
I snap my fingers and the TV turns off. “They deserve their privacy.”
“You’re right,” says Petra. “We should go.”
I nod.
“Thank you again,” Milo says to the witches. “Mum may be a zombie but at least the neighbourhood population will be sustained.”
We hug Petra and Doris before they enter the revolving door.
––––––––
Before Maude leaves, she holds me.
I ask, “Are we good?”
“Hmm.” She lets go of me and peers right into my eyes. “I’m glad that someone thoughtful has been blessed with this much power.”
I consider what good I can do in this messed-up world. “Thank you for being a mentor.”
“And thank you for being mine.” Maude opens her arms toward Penelope.
Penelope embraces her, yet it is clear Penelope’s mind is elsewhere. But she snaps out of it when Maude lets go. Penelope raises her hand to her heart. Maude does the same. After one last glance at me and Milo, Maude steps into the magic realm with her head held high.
“Are you okay?” I ask Penelope.
“Better than I’ve ever been.” But she gives us a pensive look.
“Sometimes people need to hear advice from someone they respect.” Milo tilts his head in my direction.
“So, you instigated this,” she says.
“I never meant to be Maude’s favourite,” I reply.
She gently smiles. “I have a lot to think about.”
“What did Maude say to you?” I ask.
“She apologised, obviously. She told me what I already know, that I’m like my mother. But she also told me she was once a rebel, like her sister.”
“So, when you became her responsibility...” I begin.
“She rejected you and made sure you knew it,” Milo adds. “She felt robbed of her ‘devil may care’ lifestyle.”
“And Maude didn’t like me living it up when she couldn’t.” Penelope sighs. “But she is the reason I ran away from myself.”
“But at least you know it was never your fault,” I say.
Milo pulls us in for a group hug. “Mother issues. One wrong action and we’re doomed for life.” He tilts his head back, giving us both a gentle stare before he looks in the direction of his mum’s bedroom. “But we can all move on now.”
"None of us ever wanted to face so many things this early in life,” I add. “We never wanted to grow up this quickly."
We end our three-way embrace and all take a step back.
“Are you coping okay?” I ask Penelope. “With not drinking, I mean.” She lifts a brow. “I was a mess when I gave up drinking.”
“But you didn’t know you were a wizard,” she replies. “There are many spells to avoid the jitters.”
“If only I knew.” I shake my head. “I could have done without the jitters, the headaches, the insomnia...”
“And the night sweats.” She smiles.
I grin. “So, that cauldron you once claimed to watch me through, Penelope. That cauldron where you saw me get mad at Milo and throw him out.” Milo gives me a wary stare. “That was Maude’s cauldron.”
She coyly looks down at her snazzy shoes. “Guilty as charged.”
We all chuckle.
“We’re blessed,” Milo says. “Every one of us.”
He’s right. I have a boyfriend and a cottage witch mentor. But really, we’re all mentors. Within this circle of friends, we’re here to guide each other.
But this evening is getting way too saccharine. Time for an icebreaker. I snap my fingers and Penelope is instantly adorned in an awful black witch’s hat and a cobweb styled dress. She’s glaring at the straw broom in her hand.
“What the—?” she starts.
Another finger snap and Milo wears a much more stylish Robin Hood outfit than the one my sneeze once conjured, in material which is soft on his skin.
“How come he gets the...?” She shakes her head, grinning. “And what are you going to be?”
I turn to Milo, snap my fingers, then twirl to show off my cosplay. My ensemble comes with an actual monkey tail attached to my back, waving above my head. And I’m holding a set of cymbals, but as I’m about to clash them together, I remember Amelia is sleeping.
“You’re dressed just like my toy wind up chimp.” He’s staring with childlike wonder.
“I’m a man of many talents.”
“I know.”
“This is my cue to leave.” Penelope waves her arm and she’s suddenly in that cute pink houndstooth dress I’ve seen her in before.
“Before you go, there’s something I need to know,” I say.
“You want to know what urged me to give up drinking.”
I nod.
“Mother issues. We can discuss it later, over a mocktail. But before I go you need to know something.” She gives us both a kiss on the cheek. “You two are my besties.”
“Ditto, Penelope,” I reply.
“Yes, ditto,” Milo adds.
She exits, then Hugo rushes in and sees Milo for the first time. He raises his trunk but I show him my palm, traffic cop style. He can’t wake Amelia.
Hugo tilts his head and gives us a coy grin, then exits back into the revolving door before it disappears in a sparkling silver whirlwind.
“So, that was Hugo,” Milo says.
“Yes.”
“Why did he leave?”
“It’s an omen. It means my luck is changing for the better.”
“But when he first appeared, you discovered you were a wizard. All sorts of shit followed.”
I stare at the empty space the revolving door occupied a moment ago. “I guess it all depends on how you look at it, Milo. Maybe discovering I was a wizard was the start of my good luck.” I meet his gaze.
He beams, knowing I’m also talking about him. “Hugo has a childlike quality about him, hasn’t he?”
“I guess he has.”
“That makes him a good omen. A good role model.”
“What do you mean?”
“With all the madness around us...” Milo beams, the point he’s making now clearer in his mind. “We need to approach all of this with childlike wonder, like we’re learning about the world for the first time.”
His wisdom sinks in. “We need to freefall.”
“Exactly.”
The strength of our connection heartens me. I really do have a boyfriend.
Milo points to the umbrellas. “The witches forgot their props.”
“Shall we practice hypnosis?” I grin. “Give me a V.”
“Nah, why don’t you get on your knees and drink my load?”
“You’re never going to forget I said that, are you?” Perhaps I can wave my wand and give my boyfriend amnesia. “I was trying to be intimate. Although, it’s not a bad idea, but not at your mum’s place.” I glance down at my costume. “This would make an interesting selfie.”
“Nah, I deleted my Instagram.”
“You did what?”
“I don’t need to manufacture an alternative reality when I'm actually living one.”
“It really is time to freefall.” I stroke his chin with my tail. “I love you, Milo.”
“I love you too, Grayson.”
We kiss, and as always, this dreamy lingering lip lock casts a spell. One where no zombie mothers or mischievous sneezes will ever harm us.
For we are Milo and Grayson.
Content in our own magic realm.