28. Chapter Twenty Eight
I grumble through the entire next day. It's almost as though the events of the last few weeks have finally caught up with me. It’s like a constant war that I’m fighting internally. When will I get a break? Just five fucking minutes of reprieve.
It felt like yesterday just broke the dam of my emotions.
I couldn't bring myself to answer a single message from Pike, Dacre, Sonny and Nicky. Rhodes knocked on my door a few times but after a while, I guess he finally got the hint.
I knew it was pointless to expect anything from Dawson. To wait on something even remotely close to an apology or even a ceasefire from him is fucking pointless.
Even opening myself up to him so completely wouldn't be enough. Giving him my body wasn’t enough.
It feels like nothing will ever be enough.
It's like I just moved through the entire day completely numb. The boys hung around like bad smells but I couldn’t bring myself to even grunt at them. Yet, they stuck by me the entire day. Became a barricade between me and the rest of the world. I didn’t realise how much I needed them there until they were. True to their word they are standing by me even when I’m doing my best at pushing them away.
I still hear everything they say to me. Their promises and reassurances don’t fall upon deaf ears. I take in everything they give me.
But nothing was able to pull me out of myself. Not until I walked back into my bedroom as the tears were finally able to fall free, if only just for a moment.
My father knocks on my door just before five. I yell out, telling him to come in.
He smiles at me as he watches me tie my shoes.
“Ready to face the vultures?”
I stand up grimacing at the prospect of being put under a microscope by these men. He must see my reaction as he laughs, coming over to place his hands on my shoulders.
“Oh my girl. You will be fine. You are made for this life. Rhodes told me about the other day during training,” he says, raising an eyebrow. I can’t stop the cringe before it escapes.
“Did Rhodes also tell you about my panic attack?”
He gives me a look of sympathy. It looks strange to see that look on his face. To be honest it seems weird to see any kind of look on his face, let alone see him in the flesh at all. It still doesn't seem real some days. Like I will wake up one day and all of this will have just been some fucked up dream.
“It will be common for you to have those kinds of flashbacks, Scar. Your body was trained for years to harness those muscles. When put into a situation where you need to use them, they will make themselves known,” he sighs seeing the look on my face. I watch as he gets a far away look on his face. A smile creases his face as he turns back to look at me.
“You had this insanely raw talent. From the moment you stepped into the training room, it was like it lit a fire inside of you. You took to training like a fish to water. I see that spark in your eye even still.” He puts a hand on my shoulder, “You were made for this life. You are a Crux. It's in your bones.”
I nod but I’m filled with doubts. It helps to reassure me that he has faith in me and my skills but that life still seems so far away. Panic fills my chest at the thought of the way I took Dawson down on the mat the other day. The way my body just took over.
I take a deep breath as I stand up, allowing a false bravado of confidence to fill me. Maybe if I tell myself that I can actually do this enough times, maybe I might be able to.
The drive to the clubhouse feels like it goes by within a blink of an eye. The clubhouse is full tonight. I instantly spot Nicky, Pike, Dacre, Sonny and Dawson. The latter completely ignores me. Which doesn’t surprise me at this point.
Sonny gives me a wave, smiling from ear to ear, his face completely lit up the moment he sees me. Pike shakes his head at his giddy behaviour, elbowing him in the ribs before giving me a slight wink. My lips twitch back at him allowing myself to react towards them for the first time today.
Dacre’s smile is shy as he sees me. Nicky doesn’t bother with a smile, instead coming straight over to us and engulfing me in a hug. It honestly surprises me that he refrains from spinning me around like he normally does.
I take in a breath of him. I needed this. I needed him. After doing my best at ignoring them today which was near impossible, I didn’t realise that this would have actually helped.
He steps away from me after a moment. His face is serious as he looks down at me. “Are you okay, baby girl?”
I nod, not being able to find the words for anything else.
He shakes his head, “No, that’s not good enough. I need words, Scarlett.”
I draw in a breath as I look down to where my hands are clenched. He brings a finger under my chin, lifting it with a softness I forgot he possessed.
“I take that as a no,” he smiles sadly at me.
“I just feel really overwhelmed. There’s so much happening right now and I feel like I haven’t had a chance to really breathe yet. ”
Nicky nods his head in understanding, “When you need to breathe, I’m here.”
I nod my head knowing I will take him up on his offer. He finally takes a step away from me before turning his head to my father who’s giving us a curious look.
“Pres.” He nods, my father instantly returning a nod. He looks between us a few times, both Nicky and I waiting with baited breath. For approval? A scolding? I’m not sure, but the hum he finally gives us certainly wasn’t it.
After one last look at Nicky, he turns to me wrapping an arm around my shoulders, almost as if dislodging me from Nicky’s hold as he ushers me to the room known as Church. I don’t know why I expect a full alter and pew setting but the large conference table seems to surprise me.
At the front of the room, a table large enough to seat the leadership members looks out over the chairs scattered around. A couple of members lounge around but quickly shoot to their feet as we walk through the door. Mumbled acknowledgements are heard as we walk to the front of the room. It feels as though we attract more curious looks. Each person desperate to get a look at me after all these years.
My father pulls out a chair for me at the table, gesturing me to sit. It feels as though the moment my ass hits the chair, I’m finally able to let go of the breath I had been holding.
Slowly, the room starts to fill with more people. I watch as a man who seems to draw the attention of the entire room to him walks through the doors.
I can instantly tell he is Nicky and Dawson’s father, seeing how he is a spitting image of the former, if not just a good twenty years older .
The moment he sees me, a smile lights his face. Making a beeline straight for me, he rounds the table before coming to a stop right beside me.
“My God, I never thought I would get to see that beautiful face ever again,” he says, looking at me with a mixture of awe and disbelief, “I’d say you don’t remember me but I’m Rick, Dawson and Nicky’s Dad.”
I stand up, “Hi, it's so nice to meet you.” I grimace, “Or see you again I guess.” I chuckle, feeling awkward at my blunder. What do I say to these people? It’s not like there’s a handbook available for this kind of thing.
Rick instantly puts me at ease though as he laughs, putting a hand on my arm. From any other male, this kind of familiarity would be uncomfortable but there is something about Rick that puts me at ease. Whether it’s some part of my brain remembering him from all those years ago or if it's just his aura that is able to set people at ease, I’m not too sure.
“Sit.” He nods at the chair I just vacated, “We’ve got plenty of time to catch up. Your father here,” he grumbles, slapping said man on the back hard enough to make him groan, “loves keeping us all in the dark apparently. I expect a cook up at your place this weekend.” He shoots a pointed look towards my dad..
My father chuckles at the quirked eye Rick is giving him. He rubs his back before he replies, “Don’t worry, Ricky. I’ve got a Bud in the fridge with your name on it.”
“There better be more than one in there after this shit show.”
He rolls his eyes, “And a bottle of whisky?”
Rick nods, “That’ll do it. ”
Both men laugh at each other with such an ease of familiarity. It's clear how well these two work together just by watching this one interaction. My father told me that Rick, Valen (Pike’s dad), and Grant (Dacre’s father), have all been friends for years. Much like how the guys, Rhodes and I were all friends when we were younger, the four of them were incredibly close.
My father loved reminiscing, back in Australia, at the early days of the takeover of The Thunderbirds. Stories of missions they went on while having guns bigger than they were while still being freshed faced men.
Seeing that friendship now, especially as both Valen and Grant walk in the room, it's obvious to me that these four were unstoppable in their day. It makes me want to know more of their story. To dive into their lives even further, like an autobiography of sorts.
We eventually all take our seats as Valen and Grant both take seats at the table. I watch as they notice me, bright smiles on their faces as they take their seats.
The doors to Church swing open and my eyebrows lift as in walks a man who looks like he would fit better as some mafia don. His olive skin peeks out from underneath his fitted suit. Although it's hard to see as the majority of it is covered in coloured tattoos that crawl up his neck. Even though he looks young, it's obvious this man has seen a lot; the age visible behind his eyes. Movement from behind him catches my eye.
Sonny.
My gaze shoots between the two of them.
This man must be Sonny’s father, Rafael .
I watch as both men walk side by side. A stern look seems to sit comfortably on Rafael’s face until Sonny whispers something in his ear. It's like his whole face completely transforms. Lines around his mouth and eyes crease as he turns to his son, nudging him with his elbow as they laugh.
Rafael takes a seat at the table before he looks down at each member, nodding as he makes eye contact. Once he gets to me, his eyes brighten in curiosity, his mouth tugs at the corner. He gives me a nod before continuing down the table.
A hand lands on my shoulder shocking me out of my stupor. I turn to see a smiling Rhodes staring down at me, I return but it fades as I notice a strange look in his eye.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
Rhodes just gives me a tight smile, shaking his head, “Nothing,” he says, trying to reassure me. I can see straight through him though, something is bothering him.
I let it drop for now.
As I go to turn my head back around, I notice that Rhodes isn’t the only one standing behind everyone seated at the table. It seems each heir is standing behind their current head.
The doors swing open as the last person walks in.
My eyes widen slightly. This man is the definition of built like a brick shithouse. There is nothing nice about this man. His face is a permanent scowl. His eyes are hard as he glances around the room. He doesn’t bother returning nods but it's obvious no one is expecting them in return.
As he reaches the table, he finally turns his head towards my father, gracing him with a short nod. He doesn’t bother acknowledging anyone else, instead leaning back in his chair, spread out without a care in the world as he inspects each member in front of us.
Eventually my father smacks the table as he stands, commanding every eye in the room turning towards him.
“Welcome.” His voice echoes throughout the room, “Thank you for all for turning up on such short notice.” He pauses for a moment before turning an eye towards me.
I notice how different he is at this moment. Gone is my father. In his place is Ren, the President of The Thunderbirds. His face is stern as he looks down at me but the glimmer in his eye shows me that he is still in there, just hidden behind the man he needs to be.
He turns his head back towards the rest of the room, “As you may have heard through the rumours or if you were at Pinks’ on Sunday night, my daughter Scarlett is, in fact, alive.”
My eyebrow quirks at the deathly silence that fills the room as each eye turns to look at me. Their eyes feel like daggers piercing my skin.
Anxiety starts to rush in at the magnitude of their stares. I jump as a hand lands on my shoulder. I scold myself, knowing I should have prepared myself better for their appraisal of me. But having their eyes on you, assessing you like you are some kind of a meal ticket is daunting to say the least.
I turn my head following my gaze up the tattooed arm, coming face to face with Nicky. He doesn’t say anything but his eyes plead to know everything.
Am I okay? No. Hard no.
Do I need to get out of here? Fuck yes. But I can’t.
Even though my father hasn’t said anything, I know this is a test. He needs to see if I can handle this life and what better way to find out than quite literally put me on display for the entire club to hold judgement towards me.
Instead I suck in a sharp breath, as I blink up at Nicky. He gives me a nod, barely viable to the eye.
I turn back around, smiling as I do. Feigning a confidence I don’t have. Building myself up to be someone I know I’m not but someone these people need me to be. Someone that I want to be for them.
“As the majority of you may remember the devastating events that occurred that fateful day in November ten years ago. The day of my children’s eighth birthday, we were ambushed by an enemy that didn’t care who was caught in the crossfire. My own daughter was taken that day. The tragedies she suffered haunt me to this day. Thankfully, we were able to find her. But the damage was already done.” He pauses, leaning against the table as he takes a breath.
I shuffle over in my seat, wrapping an arm around him knowing he needs support at this moment. He’s only human and no matter the hurt I feel towards what he and Mum had to do, the decisions I don’t necessarily agree with, I can’t help but at least give him this. He lifts his head from where it was hanging between his shoulders. His smile is tight as he wraps his arms around me, bringing me tight to his chest.
“My daughter had been tortured. Beaten beyond recognition. When we got her to the hospital, she was placed in a coma. The damage to her body was unfathomable.” I can feel him shake his head as he places it on top of my own. I hear him suck in a breath as he tries to compose himself.
Eventually, he continues, “It didn’t look good for a really long time. Things got worse on the streets. The last thing Bonnie or I wanted was for Scarlett to be caught in the crossfire again. We made the decision for Bonnie to take Scarlett over to Australia where she would be able to receive the best medical care she needed.
“She wasn’t meant to stay there for long. Just until she got better. But when she woke, she had no memories. She didn’t remember Bonnie. She didn’t even remember her own name. We both knew we couldn't drag her back into this life again. Not until she was old enough.
“We also didn’t know if and when her memories would return. They have not, unfortunately. Once she turned eighteen and with the influence of a few individuals,” Dad turns his head. I lift my head from his chest and follow his gaze towards the boys. I frown. What does he mean by that?
The guys seem sheepish as they look down at their feet as Dad continues, “We knew our girl had to return home. It was time for her to claim her position. To train and become the next president of The Thunderbirds.”
I look up at my father as he looks down at me. Pride shines over his face. He looks back at the rest of the room then down the table, “It was also time for Bonnie to come home. Ten years was too long.”
The men all seem to chuckle as his lip quirks at my visible cringe.
He instantly turns back to the stone cold president within the blink of an eye, only allowing a little snippet of my father to shine through.
“I expect you all to ensure that you welcomed Scarlett appropriately. She will be undergoing training with the other prospects and, from my understanding, is ready for her initiation on Friday night.”
This time, it's my father's turn to cringe at the thought of what I need to do for my initiation as a few of the men hoot and holler. I chuckle at the disgusted look on his face. Payback’s a bitch.