5 #2
“I can see why. It’s really good.” I took another drink, needing the alcohol to give me courage to continue talking to this man. For the first time in my life, I wanted to step out of my comfort zone.
“And strong. If you drink it too fast, you might do something uncharacteristic.” He nearly made me choke on his words.
I coughed into the crook of my arm, feeling the bourbon burning my nose. What the hell was he doing? Hinting at having sex with a stranger?
The way I was feeling right now, I didn’t think I’d object.
Before I could say something clever, a group of men and women entered. Probably a good thing, because there was nothing clever about me. In fact, I didn’t normally talk so much with anyone other than Libby and Toby.
The bartender sighed. “Just holler if you need anything.” And with that, he dashed off.
Admittedly, I was relieved our banter was cut short. All I had been looking for at Nye’s was a strong drink, a little musical ambience, and being left alone with my thoughts. The universe always seemed to work against me.
A short time passed and I’d finished my drink. Wanting another, I raised my empty glass to get the bartender’s attention. He acknowledged me with a nod, then winked.
A rush of anxiety nearly knocked me off the barstool. It was a familiar feeling, one I remembered having before I became a Knight. I had spent years without the powerful surge pulsing in my chest, and then I met Toby Hamilton, Maddy’s older brother.
When Toby was around my angsty mood disappeared. Gray skies would fade and the sun shone. He had made electricity crack and pop beneath my skin. My hands had ached to touch him. Even though I knew nothing would ever happen with him, I had relished all the overwhelming emotions I’d experienced.
At the end of his short visits, he would jet off to a new job. For days, following his departure, I’d dream about the two of us being together until the high wore off.
Toby was everything I’d ever wanted, but then so was Libby. If I could have anything in the world, it would be both of them.
“So are you new in town?” the bartender asked as he put another Al Nye cocktail in front of me. It was a little presumptuous of him.
Maybe I wanted to try something different. Not that the house special wasn’t amazing. You couldn’t go wrong with this drink, made with Makers Mark Bourbon, bitters, choke cherry simple syrup, orange peel, and black cherry.
“No, just new in here,” I replied, drawing back into myself. I sensed this man was more alpha than me, and I really liked that. But he wasn’t what I’d come here for.
I really hated how he made me feel all kinds of things I shouldn’t be having with him.
“Well, you should pop in more often.” He lowered his gaze and wiped the bar. “Preferably after six, Thursday through Sunday. You know? When I’m working.” His blue eyes lifted and connected with mine.
Holy shit!
“Maybe I will,” I told him, surprising myself. Did I actually flirt back?
He leaned toward me. “I’m off at midnight. Stick around. Then we can—”
Someone shouted bartender and the blond, sexy man darted away, leaving me hanging, with my dick growing hard.
What just happened?
Why did I play along?
Fuck, I need to get out of here!
Then again, all my life I wanted to experience what it was like being with a guy. I knew what I felt, but hadn’t actually tested the waters. My foster dad had made me too afraid to give into my taste for men.
Maybe this was my chance. Maybe Libby was hoping this very thing would happen to me. She often prayed for stuff, while I wasn’t religious at all.
I pretended to be unaffected as I drank my cocktail and watched him work, warring with myself over what to do.
Should I stay or should I go?
Up until last summer, before Libby was shot, she had been with others. It hadn’t bothered me that much . First and foremost, she was a Kitten and I’d respected her choices.
But Libby had been changing her tune following the craziness with Dorian Adrienne, Raymond being kidnapped, and her getting shot. She’d been growing more comfortable with the idea of becoming my old lady.
Sadly, I wasn’t so sure about her anymore.
She’d betrayed me in the worst way, and I didn’t know if I could forgive her. Was it even possible to come back from a breach of trust?
Mr. Bartender kept glancing at me as he served customers.
I was growing curiouser by the second. Did he want to take me behind the building and pound into me against the brick wall? Did he want me on my knees, sucking him off? Or would we just talk?
No. I wouldn’t allow anything emotional. All he’d ever be was sex.
Suddenly, he appeared in front of me. “I’ll be in the bathroom.” He nudged his head toward the direction he was going and stared at me. His electric-blue eyes darkened to almost black.
In the few seconds it took for me to comprehend what was happening, his whole aura had changed from friendly and flirty to demanding and domineering.
He issued me a sharp nod as if saying, see you there . Then, he left, not waiting for my reply. He didn’t offer me an alternative, only an expectation of me meeting him in the men’s bathroom.
Damn! Talk about bold and unabashed.
If I read him right, he was all about the sex, too. He wanted me. ME. No man had ever propositioned me before.
I couldn’t deny it was a thrilling prospect. We hadn’t even exchanged names. I had only been at the bar an hour…
This was insanely exciting. Dopamine flooded my veins and my heart rate kicked up a few notches. Nothing like this had ever happened to me, but maybe it would have if I’d gone to the right places and made myself available.
With that thought, I swallowed the rest of my drink and scooted off the stool. I made my way through the crowd to meet Mr. Bartender, as he commanded, when guilt threatened to ruin my rendezvous with a complete stranger.
But I shouldn’t feel guilty. Libby had given me her blessing. It had been her idea to let loose and be me. She’d encouraged me.
And after what she’d done, I shouldn’t be worrying about her feelings. I should do what was best for me. Do what I wanted to do.
As the people pleaser in me tried to talk me out of going to meet the sexy stranger, the broken boy living in my soul begged to stay the course and defy his foster dad, for all the years he had tormented us.
And nobody would ever know…