Chapter Nine
Bethan blinked at the bright blue sky, slowly realising she was ensconced in a nest of soft blankets. Alone. Scraps of conversation flayed her heart.
I didn’t visit her...she didn’t contact me...
He’d been so hurt. So alone. For years.
Maybe marriage was in the back of my mind... I didn’t give you a lot of time...
She got to the cabin without seeing anyone.
She swiftly showered and changed but despite pulling herself together physically, she could still barely cope with the internal impact of that quietly emotional conversation.
Of course she appreciated his honesty and trust in telling her all he had, but it changed everything.
Before it had been easy to consider him a heartless, callous villain who’d used her.
Now she couldn’t—he was far more human. And yes, hurt.
Now she understood more why he’d acted the way he had and she could hardly blame him for keeping his most painful, personal secrets from her when she’d done exactly the same to him.
But it was also clear they were over. He’d made no move last night and surely he knew she would have easily acquiesced.
But no. They were past lovers simply clearing the air.
Except desire festered deep inside her—building again to that dangerous point where there’d be another explosion.
For her own well-being she had to contain it.
This situation didn’t need more complication.
On her way back up she heard voices from the main deck and stopped on the stairs, hoping they’d move on so they wouldn’t see her.
‘You should ask Bethan to show you.’ Ares’s voice carried. ‘She knows all the knots. I’ve never seen anyone tie off as fast. Ask if she’ll demonstrate and film her. Then practise. Lots. That’s what she does.’
‘Does she work on boats?’
‘No, her father was in the navy and she learned from him,’ Ares answered. ‘She weaves masterpieces out of all kinds of things. She makes incredibly intricate props for escape rooms.’
‘That’s so cool.’
‘Yeah.’
Bethan blushed hard and her legs lost all strength so she had to lean against the wall.
He was bragging about her to the trainee crew.
His audible approval—pride—added to her conflicting feelings.
Her regret. When she’d cooled enough to keep climbing the stairs she found him on deck demonstrating something with the anchor to four junior deckhands.
Apparently he was completely at ease and not at all embarrassed that they’d spent all night up in that nook the stewards had created.
Or at least Bethan had—she’d no idea what time Ares had left her.
But she remembered the sensation of being held close while sleeping and he must have stopped them from disturbing her given it was well after dawn now.
At least she’d been fully dressed up there.
Though that fact also hurt her weak little heart.
‘We’ve been waiting for you.’ Ares broke away from the group as soon as he saw her.
‘Oh?’ She brushed her hair behind her ear and failed to settle her scurrying pulse. ‘What did you need me for?’
‘Firstly, breakfast.’ He turned to the deckhands. ‘You guys get those boats ready, okay?’
‘Boats?’ Bethan followed him to the laden table on the sun deck. Then paused when she was able to look at him properly. ‘Are you okay?’
He had shadows beneath his eyes and his clean shave had left him looking slightly pale. ‘Just hungry.’ He reached for the silver serving tongs to attack the pancake tower.
Pensive, Bethan loaded up on the fresh fruit. The fluffy pancakes were delightful, but she noticed Ares didn’t actually eat that much.
‘So, boats?’ she eventually prompted.
He leaned back in his chair, cradling the mug of tea in his hands. ‘We’re splitting the trainees into two and racing. The crew have set out a course with a couple of markers.’
‘Racing?’ A little adrenalin rippled through her. ‘You and I against each other?’
‘Two crew each.’ He smirked. ‘Knew that would pique your interest.’
‘What’s my prize when I win?’ she muttered, avoiding his eyes by reaching for more blueberries.
‘What do you want it to be?’
She drew a careful breath, failing again to settle her rising pulse. ‘I’m sure I’ll think of something.’
Half an hour later she let him fasten her life jacket for her. She couldn’t resist having him close. Then she looked at the two gleaming boats the crew had sourced from the nearby island.
Last time she and Ares had sailed together in a small sailboat, they’d done it as a team, working in sync to catch the wind.
This time they were competitors and equally determined to beat each other.
She kept one eye on him, one on the water, felt the breeze and made the calls to her crew.
While Ares had local knowledge, Bethan was her father’s daughter.
She’d spent hours sailing when he was home and was comfortable for the hours they spent beneath the sun now.
Ares—inexplicably—was slightly off the pace from the start and stayed that way.
Bethan chuckled as her two crew whooped as they crossed the last marker first.
‘You’re good,’ Ares called as they sailed back to the big yacht.
‘I had a good crew.’ She grinned, feeling the flush of winner’s pride.
‘It wasn’t only the crew,’ he drawled as they climbed back on the main deck.
She pressed a hand to her chest in outrage. ‘Don’t even try to suggest you let me win.’
‘Oh, I didn’t,’ he muttered, leaning against the railing. ‘I desperately wanted to beat you and I’m devastated to have failed.’
‘Too bad about your call on that last leg.’ She unfastened her jacket.
‘Yeah.’ He huffed out a heavy breath.
Bethan glanced across the water as the trainees sailed the small boats back to the harbour—clearly racing again. She grinned and ran a hand through her sea-sprayed hair.
‘You okay, sir?’
She turned, struck by both question and tone. A young second officer stood on the other side of Ares who had, in fact, lost more colour.
‘Are you sure I can’t get you something?’
Ares stiffened—barriers sliding back into place—and murmured something short in Greek. The officer immediately looked awkward.
‘He’s pale because losing isn’t something he’s used to,’ Bethan joked lightly, but stepped between Ares and the officer. ‘I appreciate your thoroughness,’ she said quietly. ‘I’ll call if we need you.’
The youth bowed and couldn’t get off the deck fast enough. Bethan turned back to Ares.
‘I’m fine,’ he said but he took a seat.
‘You’re not. You’re good with those kids, for you to snap at him...’ She trailed off and frowned.
Ares was clearly counting again. Slow, steady counting to facilitate deep, even breaths. He’d obviously been taught to. Why? Suddenly queasy, she moved closer.
‘I know,’ he finally sighed. ‘I shouldn’t have. I didn’t want...’ He caught her eye. ‘This is nothing.’
She hunched in front of him so he couldn’t hide his face from her. He’d not wanted that attention. Too bad. ‘Obviously it’s not nothing. What’s going on? In sickness and health, remember, husband?’
He shot her a smile but it barely held his usual cynicism. ‘You left. You broke those vows already.’
‘What’s going on?’ She ignored him. ‘Tell me.’
Bending closer, he cupped her face, then fluttered his fingers down the column of her neck. ‘Make me.’
‘Don’t try to distract me—’
‘I’m not trying to distract you,’ he growled. ‘I just can’t keep my hands off you any longer.’
‘No.’ Despite the leap in her pulse, she grabbed his wrists and held his hands still at her throat. ‘Talk to me, Ares. I’m worried.’
His eyes widened as he looked into hers and he sighed. ‘I’m sorry. It really is nothing,’ he reassured too gently. ‘You don’t need to worry.’
‘Then what’s the problem with telling me?’ Her anxiety wasn’t soothed in the slightest.
‘Since when were you so stubborn?’ Tenderness softened his smirk.
Since she’d found her confidence—her fight.
She eyeballed him. She was stubborn now.
This time she wasn’t letting him deflect or distract.
She was not walking away without knowing everything.
This was too important. Was something really wrong?
‘Why are you so scared of talking to me?’ Her voice rose.
She’d cared for her grandmother for years.
She didn’t want him to be unwell. ‘What do you think I can possibly do to you?’
He stared down into her face, his gaze roving over her features, his mouth twisted in remorse. ‘It was an anxiety attack,’ he said quietly.
‘What?’
‘You’re not the only one who feels stressed sometimes. You babble, my heart goes too fast.’ He shrugged.
Anxiety?
‘Don’t make more out of it,’ Ares said.
‘It’s happened before?’ Her brain raced and her panic rose.
‘I’d been working long hours and one afternoon I found myself on the floor.’
‘You collapsed?’ Cold fear flooded her. That sounded like a lot more than anxiety. Her heart battered her ribs, making her breathless. ‘Did you see someone about it?’
‘Yes. The doctors did far more tests than necessary.’ His finger stroked slowly, soothing as she gripped his wrists more tightly. ‘It wasn’t my heart. There’s no damage or anything. I’d just done too many hours on not enough sleep and needed a bit of a break.’
But he was still struggling with it.
‘Did you tell anyone?’ she asked.
His face was six inches from hers. Fiercely she gazed into his eyes, needing to know he was telling her the truth.
‘Let them know I had a weak moment? Never. I went to the villa for some time out and reassessed my priorities.’ He smiled at her. ‘I really am fine, Bethan. You don’t need to worry. I promise.’
So he’d created this new foundation for his mother and, Bethan realised, decided to finalise their divorce. Clearly he wanted closure on personal things. Stressful things. Like her too.
‘Did you sleep at all last night?’ she whispered.
His gaze dropped. No, he hadn’t. She suspected he hadn’t slept much the night before either.