Chapter 45 Enzo #2
When we finally go inside, Lia grabs my arm to warn me.
"She doesn't look like the Allegra you knew."
I don't put too much weight on her words since I've never cared what Allegra looked like. I'd love her in any way, shape, or form. Because she's simply my Allegra.
Should she ever reincarnate into a cat, a dog, or a bird, she'd still have my devotion.
We'd be like Tesla and his white pigeon, and our love would know no bounds.
And maybe beyond our carnal shackles, we might merge into one, become a primeval androgynous being: two parts of a whole put together, the ultimate union of souls.
Because she is it for me, in this life or any that may follow.
Leaving Luca with maman outside, I slowly step inside the room.
Allegra is hooked up to all types of beeping machines, her entire head bandaged, half her face destroyed. I swallow a painful moan as I look at her shattered cheek and forehead, and I can't help but tear up.
Taking a seat by her bed, I take her hand in mine, reveling in the warmth that attests she's still alive.
"God, my God," I whisper, my eyes fixed on her face and the tubes coming out of her mouth.
"I swear to you, little tigress, that no one, absolutely no one, will remain unpunished for what they did to you.
" I lift her hand to my lips, wishing I could take away her pain, wishing it were me instead of her.
"I vow to you that I will do everything to make sure you wake up in the perfect world, and we'll be a family again. You, me, and our son."
Because this is the wake-up call I needed to realize my little tigress doesn't belong in a cage. She deserves true freedom, and I will do whatever it takes to give her that when she wakes up. Even if it means taking on the entire Cosa Nostra.
"I never told you how much I loved you..." I trail off, my eyes misty, "how much you mean to me. But I will show you. Just... get well soon."
I spend more time with her, feeling at home for the first time in weeks. At some point maman brings Luca, and I place him on his mother's chest, hoping she can feel him and see how much we need her back.
"Come back to us, little tigress. We need you. Both of us." I lay a kiss on her unmarred cheek, my heart breaking again at the thought of leaving her.
But by the end of the visit, one thing is clear.
I will unleash hell on everyone involved, and there are four people who will get front-row seats: Rocco, Chiara, Leonardo, and Cristina Marchesi.
This won't be an easy death or even a long torture session.
No, I will hit them where it hurts—I will destroy whatever they value the most. For Rocco, it's the Famiglia and the empire he's built.
For Marchesi, it's their wealth and connections.
By the end, they will have none.
"I've spoken with her doctor," I tell Lia, taking her aside, "and he recommended a series of brain surgeries as well as reconstructive surgery for her left side. I'll take care of everything, and I'll get you two new identities so you can move around undetected."
Slowly, a plan starts to unravel in my mind.
"After her surgeries, we'll move both of you to Sacré C?ur, where my sister is, and I'll have medical staff on hand twenty-four-seven. I need to have her nearby but also in a secret location," I add, explaining my thought process.
If Rocco or Marchesi ever found out that Allegra was still alive, they'd try to kill her again.
In her vegetative state, she's an easy target, so anything could happen.
The best way is to keep her close to me but also somewhere safe.
Since I'm regularly visiting Catalina at Sacré C?ur, no one would bat an eye.
And I know their security is top-notch, so that is an added bonus.
It will take a lot of bribing and blackmailing, but I'll make it happen.
The next few weeks are an ordeal. I'm stretched thin between Allegra's surgeries, Luca, and the business. I'm glad maman offers to watch Luca sometimes, since I've become increasingly paranoid of everyone around me.
But as my little boy grows with every passing week, Allegra's prognosis worsens.
"I'm sorry, I don't have great news," the doctor tells me after her third surgery. "We've managed to fix the damage to her brain, but there's simply no way of knowing when she will wake up…" he trails off, the words unspoken—if ever.
"She will," I say confidently, because I know she will. It's just a matter of time, and I can wait for her however long it takes.
"If she'd gotten immediate help, maybe her prognosis would be better. As of now, I really can't make any promises."
I nod and thank the doctor for his effort, even though inside I'm breaking.
Fuck!
From the very beginning, this has been my worst nightmare—that someone would harm my little tigress and take her away from me. Because I'd known, even then, that life without her would be nothing but hell.
Now I'm living it.
With Allegra and Lia settled at Sacre Coeur, I find it easier to go about my business, as well as plan Rocco's downfall.
They took the most important thing from me, so I'll just return the favor.
Rocco's kryptonite is his empire, and he always proudly declares that he'd elevated the famiglia to a different status with his business acumen. So I'll just have to play him at that.
It might take some time and, given Allegra's vulnerable state, some top-notch acting from me. But when it's all said and done, Rocco's fall from grace will be the best thing to witness.
The acting shouldn't be too hard since people already have a preconceived idea about me—the indolent playboy who relies on his good looks to get everything in life.
I know what people see when they look at me, just as I know that they judge me before they even know me.
So I'll just play into their biases and turn myself into the perfect prodigal son.
I'd already talked with maman about this, and she'd promised to let me borrow some of her girls to help boost this image. I'd had one request—every single girl she chose for me had to be gay.
I wouldn't want any complications, like someone actually becoming obsessed with me. Been there, done that, and I think I've had enough of obsessive women for a lifetime. It will also help me when the time comes to explain to my little tigress that I've never actually been involved with those women.
Considering Chiara's penchant for dick, even old and shriveled like my father's, I have to make it believable that I don't mind her affairs because I'm having plenty of my own. A modern marriage through and through.
And slowly, I'll change this world from the inside out.
I'd never really questioned my role in the mafia.
It has always been my birthright. But seeing Allegra's terrified expression when I'd killed those men, the way she'd cursed me out had hurt like nothing before.
Not only that, but her diary had confirmed her meeting with the fed, and while she hadn't expressed her desire to leave me in writing, she had compiled the evidence as a last resort.
She never trusted me to make her happy.
So I'll give her what she's always wanted—freedom and a world in which she can live peacefully and to her heart's content.
"Shh," I try to calm Luca down one night, but after doing everything—feeding, bathing, and changing him—nothing works.
I'm close to giving up when another thought crosses my mind.
Pulling up my computer, I browse through some of the videos I'd taken of Allegra, choosing one where she was trying to sing a song from a commercial but failing rather miserably.
I play the sound, and I watch in awe as Luca's ears perk up, his attention focused solely on the video.
He bangs his hands on the keyboard in his attempt to get closer to the screen, his cries now muffled sniffles.
"Mamma," I say as I point to Allegra, hoping to imprint in his young mind that this is his real mother, not the impostor sleeping down the hall.
He furrows his little brows as he gazes at Allegra, already calmer than before. When the video ends, the crying begins anew, so I just put it on a loop.
Transfixed, Luca continues to watch his mother's antics, and I too lose myself in her presence.
If only she were here…