Chapter 56 Enzo
ENZO
I fucked everything up.
"Kill me if that's what you want, but I swear to you I've never betrayed you in my life." I wrap my hands over hers on the hilt of the knife, helping her drive it forward into my chest.
She shakes her head at me, her cheeks stained with tears.
"Don't lie to me. One thing I asked you—never lie to me," she murmurs, frantic and distraught.
"I'm not. Not this time." I've lied plenty of times to her in the past, and that's why we're here. If I could have been more open with her... more honest... none of this would have happened.
"I don't believe you," she sobs, her hands still on the knife.
I close my eyes briefly, the painful knowledge that I drove her to this point making me hate myself even more.
What have I done to you, little tigress?
"Then do it," I find myself saying, my hands tightening over the dagger. "Kill me. Get your revenge." I tell her as I help her stab me deeper. "Just tell Luca I love him," I whisper my last wish.
I feel the skin breaking under the sharpness of the knife, the physical pain dulled by my own soul's ache.
"And you, little tigress. I'll always love you," I murmur right before I give the hilt a push, gasping at the pain.
But just as the pressure of the knife reaches an unbearable point, it's gone.
Allegra stumbles back, falling on her ass, her eyes wild as she takes in my bleeding chest and the droplets of blood that now linger on the blade.
"Don't lie to me," she whispers, stunned on the spot, her eyes never leaving my wound.
I don't mind the pain as I move into a sitting position. My hand goes to the gaping hole in my chest—deep but not life-threatening. My fingers come back soaked in blood, and I make quick work of my shirt, taking it off and pressing it over the wound.
"I'd never lie to you. Not about this."
"Lord," she gives a manic laugh, her eyes once again filled with disdain, "it's even worse then. Tell me, where was this love when you were fucking others behind my back? You think I haven't seen all the evidence? Lived it on my own skin?"
"It's not what it seems," I start, trying to defend myself, "and at the party, I knew it was you."
She frowns, her pretty brows drawing together in the center.
"What? It can't be." She narrows her eyes at me, vehemently denying the possibility.
"I've known it was you since you visited Luca. I also know you were the one who killed Cristina and Leonardo," I add, and shock envelops her features.
"What... How... You gave no indication..." she utters, confused, and rightly so.
"Lia. I convinced her to help me. I knew you craved revenge, and I wanted you to have it. So I did some tweaking behind the scenes."
"You..." I can see the realization dawning on her. "But why?" she whispers, her features still steeped in consternation.
"Because I love you and I would do anything to see you happy. Including letting you push that knife through my heart—for good this time."
"No, that's not true," she keeps repeating, and I feel compelled to move closer to her.
Dropping the shirt on the floor, I take her hands in mine. The knife falls down with a thud, but I pull her into me before she can grab it again.
"Little tigress, listen to me, please. I'll tell you everything you want to know and after, if you still want my blood, it's yours."
She doesn't move, her face expressionless as she looks at me.
This is my cue.
"I..." Fuck, I'm such a wimp. After everything that's happened, she's alive and well and in front of me, but I can't seem to find the words to assure her of my devotion.
Her eyes flicker slightly as she raises an eyebrow, daring me to say my piece and be done with it. It's suddenly so unnerving—knowing that my next words will dictate the future of our relationship.
"I love you," the moment the words are out of my mouth, her head tilts to the side in an is-that-all type of gesture.
I don't let it deter me as I continue, finally revealing everything.
"I think I fell in love with you after our first interaction.
You were so unlike anyone I'd ever met before that I couldn't help but be drawn to you.
" I take a deep breath. "I didn't know it at the time because I've simply never felt that way before.
You got under my skin so bad, and half the time I didn't know whether to strangle you or make love to you," I say, and her face morphs into a questioning frown.
Great choice of words, Enzo!
"Then you put yourself in front of that bullet for me, and I rationalized it as a sign that we were perfectly matched.
" Bringing one hand up, I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
"You are the epitome of everything I admire—brave, principled, kind, and honest. How no one else could see what a treasure you are is beyond me," I stop when I see her narrow her eyes at me, and I know compliments won't get me out of this mess—even though they are nothing but the truth.
"What you heard me tell my father about our wedding was simply what he needed to hear at the time. I'd decided that you'd be my wife before I knew it was another famiglia wanting me dead. I purposefully made you miss your wedding so I could have you all to myself."
Although I've never cheated on her, I've certainly manipulated her enough to get what I wanted—her. And I don't know how she's going to react to that aspect.
This time, however, I'm letting her decide everything—including my fate.
"But you couldn't stand the sight of me," she finally says, catching my hand with hers and removing it from her face.
"God," I groan out loud, upset at my own stupidity.
I'd been so focused on making her mine that I didn't bother to see how it would affect her.
And when she did become mine, I tried to fight my obsession with her because it was driving me absolutely mad.
I couldn't even be next to her without imagining a thousand ways I'd explore her body, the urge to taste her lips too strong.
For someone who'd taken pride in his self-restraint, she certainly destroyed any semblance of autonomy I had.
"It's my fault, I admit," I say, squeezing her hand. "I didn't like what you awoke in me. I had this constant urge to be around you—with you, in you… I had no control when it came to you."
"Really?" she asks dryly. "Is that why you went to your whores? Because I was too much for you?" Her tone is accusatory, but I can detect the pain underneath.
A pain I put there. Fuck!
"Little tigress," I move my bloody hand to her cheek, guiding her face right in front of mine, "I swear to you I've never been unfaithful to you. I've never betrayed our wedding vows—in body or in soul. I know it's hard to believe, but…"
"Hard to believe?" She scoffs. "Try impossible."
"But it's true." My forehead touching hers, I close my eyes, taking a deep breath and wishing with all my might that I can convince her I'm speaking the truth.
"I know it's my fault for taunting you and never clarifying your assumptions. But at that time, I thought it was better to keep you at arm's length. It's the one thing that I regret because it was the start of all your mistrust in me."
"Enzo," she says in a dead tone, "that's a nice speech and all, but do you really expect me to believe that you've never once slept with another woman in these five years?
Let's say you lied to me during our marriage and were actually faithful," she stops to roll her eyes, "although that's highly debatable too.
But I find it exceedingly hard to believe that a man with your libido would go without sex for so long. "
"I went without for twenty-four years; five years is nothing," I mutter low under my breath, not intending for her to hear. But her sudden intake of breath tells me she did, in fact, hear me.
"What do you mean?" Her words come out in a whimper as her eyes seek mine, looking to confirm the veracity of my claim.
"You're the only woman I've ever touched, Allegra. Ever," I confess. Before her, I'd never so much as wanted to be near a woman, the thought of touching one filling me with nausea and disgust.
Not my little tigress. She'd wormed her way into my heart and I couldn't not touch her. It's one of the reasons I'd tried to put some distance between us as I struggled to come to grips with the fact that I desired a woman—in every sense.
I'd been blown away by my body's reaction to her, but at the same time, I'd been scared shitless of the implications.
Her face trembles slightly, her eyes widening in disbelief.
"What… what did you just say?" she asks, her voice unsteady.
She doesn't believe me.
"I've never been with another woman, little tigress. Before or after you."
I steel myself for her questions, ready to tell her every part of my shameful past and hoping she won't look at me differently.