Chapter 61 - Allegra
ALLEGRA
One Month Later
“May I have another, mamma?”
I turn to see Luca holding his empty plate and looking at me with puppy-dog eyes, hoping that would win him another slice of cake.
"Of course you can," I ruffle his hair, taking the plate from him and cutting another slice.
"Here you go," I hand it to him, watching the happiness shine on his face.
How I love this boy!
"Thank you," he beams at me, and I can't help but return the smile.
"Will you give me a kiss, Luca?" I ask, pointing to my cheek. He looks thoughtful for a moment before smiling sheepishly, pecking me on the cheek and running away.
Chuckling at his antics, I turn back to the cake, cutting two more slices and taking them with me to the couch.
Enzo's on the couch, going through some files while Luca's on the floor, watching his favorite cartoon and munching on cake.
"Want some?" I push the plate towards him, but he shakes his head, a small frown marring his forehead.
"Need to finish this," he mumbles, quickly giving me a kiss before turning his attention back to the documents.
I put his plate on the table, and I start eating mine.
In the time since the funeral, we've had to make a few changes, one of them being relocating.
We moved out of the Agosti house and into an apartment in Midtown. Enzo had told me he'd had this apartment built specifically for us—complete with an industrial oven for our favorite pastime and with enough space to raise our children. He'd wanted full autonomy from his family, even then.
Luca had taken very well to the change, and we're becoming closer every day.
I still can't believe that my baby is almost five, flashes of him as a baby still running through my mind.
We're both getting to know each other, and my heart is bursting with love for this young boy—so polite and well-behaved.
I know now it's all Enzo. For so long, he's been both mother and father, and he's dedicated all his time to making sure our Luca grew up loved and well-adjusted.
I heard all the stories from maman Margot, and she hasn't shied away from telling me just how devoted Enzo's been to little Luca, from changing his diapers to waking up every few hours to feed him during the night or simply taking him with him everywhere, afraid to leave him alone even for a second.
I never thought I could love him more, but when I'd found out everything he's done for me and for our baby, my heart had swelled with so much love that I'd burst into tears.
"Mamma," little Luca comes running towards me, a small book in his hands. "Can you read me this?"
"Of course," I readily agree, patting the spot next to me for him to sit. "Let's see," I say as I take the book from his hands.
He scoots closer to me, his eyes full of curiosity as he stares at the animations accompanied by text.
I start reading, and he follows attentively. I soon realize that he's trying to match my sounds with the letters, and I gently inquire if he wants to try.
"I don't know…" He brings his thumb to his mouth, looking pensive. "I suppose I can try," he shrugs.
I open my arms for him and he settles in my lap, my chin resting on top of his head as I prompt him to start.
"The blue rabbit…"
For all his shy reluctance, his reading abilities are superb—especially for someone his age. I try to correct him softly when he mispronounces something and praise him when he gets it right, earning a triumphant smile from him each time.
The book is small, and it doesn't take us long to finish it in one sitting.
As he reads the last word and closes the book, he's quiet, his brows knitted together in a small frown.
"Luca, is there something wrong?" I brush my hand through his curls, worried I might have upset him.
Since I'm relatively new at this mothering thing, I'm always afraid I might do something wrong, even though Enzo's assured me it's impossible.
"No, I was just thinking," he turns his small face towards me, his piercing green eyes holding me on the spot.
God, he really is the spitting image of his father.
"What were you thinking?"
"I like being with you, mamma," he starts, his features serious. "Can you please not leave me again?"
That one question breaks my heart, and I bring him to my chest, holding him as I get a grip on myself. Tears are already leaking out of my eyes, and I muffle a sob as I clear my throat to speak.
"I promise you, Luca. I won't ever leave you again. I love you too much and I could never leave you," I tell him from the bottom of my heart.
His eyes search my face for any signs of deceit, and when he finds none, he gives me the most brilliant smile I've ever seen.
"Pinky promise?" He holds up his little finger and I wrap mine around his.
"Pinky promise," I declare, quickly giving his forehead a resounding kiss.
"I love you, mamma," he says as he jumps off the couch and runs to his room.
I'm left standing there, mouth open, so shocked but so happy I can't even find the right reaction.
My little boy told me he loves me.
I may have missed the other milestones from his childhood, and even though there are still plenty to come, I think I may have experienced the most important one.
He told me he loves me.
I don't even realize as Enzo draws me to his chest, hugging me as I sob, sharing this incredible moment with me.
"That's our boy, little tigress," he whispers in my hair. "We created him together."
"We did," I agree, leaning against him. "Isn't he wonderful?" I sniffle, still crying uncontrollably.
"The best. And you know why?" I shake my head.
"Because he's part of you. And you're the best," he kisses my temple, holding me close as I calm myself.
It's much later when we're alone in bed, spent from lovemaking, that we finally have a discussion that's been on Enzo's mind for a long time.
"I can give it all up, you know," he says as I lie on his chest, his cock still lodged inside of me. "The empire, the business…everything. We can move away and start a new life."
I'm silent for a minute as I digest what he's saying. I know he would. He's been trying to do that for the last five years. But that doesn't mean that the mafia will give him up.
"No," I finally speak. "I don't want you to do that, Enzo."
"Why? We'd be safe and away from a life of crime."
"We wouldn't be truly safe, and you know it," I reply.
I've had enough time to come to grips with a lot of things, one of which is the world we live in.
"If there's something I learned in these last few years," I start, slightly worried I might shock him with my changed outlook, "it's that you can't do anything without power.
Those with no power aim for more power, and those with power strive to maintain it.
We'd always be a steppingstone for people wanting to gain power whether we want it or not. "
The sole fact that he's the Agosti heir would make him a target worldwide, not to mention what the Italians would do to him for betraying Cosa Nostra.
"I don't want our children to be powerless, because I've seen exactly how the world treats those who have nothing of value to offer. I want them to be on top, and we can give them that."
"Little tigress, you realize what that means…" he trails off, taking a deep breath. "Luca will have to follow in my footsteps one day."
"He'll have your guidance. And I trust that with you as a role model, he'll turn out to be an upstanding young man."
"You have a lot of trust in me, love."
"Because I know you, Enzo. And family comes first. For me, too, family is always first, and that means recognizing that we won't be better off if we leave the famiglia. We'll never have peace."
"You're right, but I don't want you to sacrifice your values just because of that."
"Enzo," I turn toward him so he can see my eyes and the conviction behind them, "my values died the moment my entire family schemed to have me killed for an extra loaf of bread. I'm not the same person I was before. I've learned to adapt to this world."
I reach out to caress his face.
"There's a spectrum to morality, dear husband. And I find that I'm OK with being in the gray zone."
"Tigress," he groans, bringing my hand to his lips for a soft kiss. "You're my heart," he says before tugging me closer to him, his mouth on mine. "We'll do it your way. But anytime you want out, I'll have a contingency plan in place. I told you, this time you take the reins."
"Oh, Enzo, I don't think you realize how much I love you," I murmur against his lips.
"I do, little tigress, I do. Because I love you just as much," he wraps his arms around my torso, his cock pulsating to life inside of me, and he proceeds to show me just how much.