Chapter Eight
K ERRIE
Nella sat next to me at the center island, her shadow box between us. Her blonde hair stuck to her face, where I was pretty sure she’d gotten glitter glue. She was in charge of making the grass out of thinly cut pieces of construction paper, while I helped make the animals.
I rolled brown clay between my hands to make the body of the dog, then grabbed two tiny balls of clay for the front legs before moving to make the back ones.
“Ew, that looks like a wiener,” Tommy said, laughing as he poked his head up next to me to watch.
My oldest, Sophie, laughed as she made her way across the kitchen. “He’s right. It kind of looks like a wiener, Mom.”
“Because I don’t have the back legs on yet. Just give it a second.” I hurried to make more legs. After I stuck them on, I turned to the kids. “See, no more wiener.”
“Er...you should definitely add the head and ears, because now it just looks like a deformed one.” Sophie laughed. “Maybe I should help Nella instead.”
With a sigh, I stood. “Have at it. And by the way, how do you know what boy parts look like, anyway?”
“The internet, Mom. Everything is on the internet.”
“Christ.”
“Totally kidding. I’ve had sex ed at school, and I changed Tommy’s diapers when he was little.”
“What’s sex ed?” Nella asked.
My face burned as I turned to glance at Sophie. “Nothing you need to worry about for a few more years.”
“How come I always have to wait a few more years?” Nella stuck her lip out.
“Because that’s what we have to do as kids,” Sophie said. She helped finish the rest of the animals, thankfully making sure no more resembled the male anatomy.
The side door opened, and Hal came inside. He immediately headed toward the living room. “Tommy, can you grab Daddy a pop?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t shake it this time,” Hal hollered. “What’s for dinner?”
Was he kidding me right now? Fuming, I tried to keep the malice from my voice. “Haven’t gotten a chance to start it yet. I had to help the kids with homework.”
“Alright, let me know when you get it going.”
If the kids weren’t standing right here, I’d have told him to shove it and make his own food.
“Sure.”
“Hey, Mom?” Sophie said, as I walked over to check the cupboards and fridge for an easy dinner option.
“Yeah?”
“Do you have a cami I can borrow to go under my light blue shirt for tomorrow?”
“I should have a clean one in my top left-hand drawer. There’s a white one and a black one.”
“Thanks.”
Sophie disappeared down the hall while Nella and Tommy went to the living room with Hal. I grabbed a box of noodles from the lazy-Susan, along with a can of marinara sauce. Hopefully, I still had some Italian sausage left.
Not more than a minute had gone by when Sophie stormed into the kitchen.
“What is this?” She shoved a packet of papers at me. “I found them in your underwear drawer. Is this for real? Are you guys really divorced?”
Crap. I read the header: Judgment of Divorce. “Look, I...I can explain.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why are we living here if he divorced you? I’m not stupid, I’ve seen him traipsing women in here when he thinks we’re not looking or not home or whatever. At first, I thought he was having affairs and you were okay with it. But now...”
“It’s complicated. Look, your dad decided he didn’t want to be together, but I can’t afford to move yet.”
“Do Grandma and Grandpa know? Does anyone know?” Her hand was shaking as she shoved the papers at me.
“No, he didn’t want your grandparents to know or you kids. H-he didn’t want to be the bad guy.”
“Well, he is. He’s a fucking dick.” Sophie’s voice cracked. “And you’re letting him walk all over you. You deserve better than this. Even if you make me mad sometimes, at least you’re always here when I need you.”
“Is everything okay in there?” Hal called.
Sophie opened her mouth to say something, but I quickly intervened. “Sophie and I are going to for a drive. So, you’ll have to get dinner for you and the kids.” I folded the papers and tucked them into my purse.
“I just got home from work,” Hal argued.
“So did Mom,” Sophie snapped back.
“We’ll be home later.” I didn’t wait for him to respond again. Instead, I grabbed the keys to the minivan, and we hurried to the driveway.
“Can I drive?” Sophie asked.
“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” She only had her permit. I’d been trying to get her more hours in so we could finally get her license. Not that there wasn’t a lot of public transit options, but we still wanted her to be able to drive. With me working now, I didn’t have as much time to take her out. And asking Hal seemed to always be out of the question.
“I-I’ll be fine.”
I handed over the keys and followed her to the van. She climbed into the driver’s seat and adjusted it for her longer legs while I climbed into the passenger side. Once we both had our seatbelts on, Sophie adjusted her mirrors.
“When did Dad file?” She broke the silence as soon as we pulled out of the driveway.
“Last year. Because I was agreeable to everything, it was done pretty quickly.”
“I don’t understand why you didn’t say anything.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “Because I was embarrassed. Still am. No one knows half of what’s happened or is still happening.”
“We should move, Mom. Seriously, you aren’t his maid or whatever. He treats you like shit.”
“Language.”
“Well, it’s true.”
“I know, but he’s still your dad.”
She snorted. “Hardly, he never does anything with us anymore. It’s like his body was taken hostage by an alien.”
I laughed. “True. Listen, I only need another couple of months to have the money I’ll need for everything. Turn right at the stop sign.”
She signaled and turned.
We kept driving for another couple of blocks.
“Take a left at the light,” I said.
Traffic whirred by us on the right and left. Sophie’s hands tightened on the wheel. When she had a clearing, she quickly maneuvered us onto the next road. Just then, red and blue lights flashed behind us.
“Oh, crap. What do I do?” Sophie freaked, taking her eyes off the road.
“Ah, first, watch where you’re going. Secondly, pull off into that parking lot there.” I pointed to the grocery store lot on my side.
We sat there for several minutes when an officer came to Sophie’s window. She rolled it down. “Mr. Walker?”
“Sophie, how’s it going?” he asked.
“Better about ten minutes ago,” she muttered. “Don’t tell Mya you pulled me over.”
He chuckled, revealing perfect, shiny white teeth. His rich brown skin was smooth, except for the laugh lines around his eyes. His dark hair was cut short against his head. His broad shoulders seemed to fill the window.
I gulped a deep breath. Holy, hot damn, he was good looking. And apparently, Sophie’s best friend’s dad. How had I missed this before?
I quickly smoothed my hair and attempted to smile.
“Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Sophie shook her head.
“You forgot to signal at the light, and you also have a taillight out. I’ll need to see your license and registration.”
“She only has her permit,” I said.
“Mrs. Holloway, good to see you.”
“That’s Ms. Holloway now,” Sophie corrected.
“Soph—”
“Oh, my bad. I didn’t realize you were divorced.”
I nodded, then reached to open the glove box to get the registration. A large pink vibrator fell into my lap.
Sophie’s eyes widened, and Officer Walker swiftly turned away, but not before I caught a smirk on his face.
Oh, God. No. I’d forgotten I’d thrown it there after the whole lightsaber, kid-getting-smacked-in-the-face-with-it thing. My cheeks were on fire. “Um, this is my ex-husband’s van. I have no idea why that would be in there.”
“Mom,” Sophie shrieked.
Officer Walker chuckled. “If that’s the worst thing I see fall out of a glove box today, I’ll call it a good one.”
Fishing for the registration, I handed it across to him.
“I’ll just check a few things and be back.” He walked to his patrol car.
“Mom, I swear, I’ve never been more mortified in my life.”
“That makes two of us,” I hissed. “It’s not like I purposely pulled it and waved it around like Harry Potter with his wand.”
“Bad imagery, Mom.” She groaned, shaking her head. “J-just get rid of that thing.”
I moved to put it in my purse. “Fine, out of sight, out of mind.”
“Mom, seriously, you can’t put it there. What if Nella or Tommy find it?”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that’s how it’d originally ended up in the glove box to begin with.
“Well, what do you want me to do with it? I can’t just toss it out the window. Then we’ll get a ticket for littering, or I might hit someone with it and get charged with assault and battery.”
Sophie cringed. “Alight, just put it back in the glove box for now and throw it away or whatever when we get home.”
When Officer Walker came back, he handed us our paperwork. “Okay, I’ll let you go without a ticket this time. Make sure to get the taillight fixed, and Sophie, you need to use your signals. I don’t want this to mar you being able to get your license.”
“Thank you, Officer Walker,” I said.
“Demarcus,” he said. “You can call me Demarcus. Our girls have been friends a long time, so I don’t think we need the formalities.”
“Demarcus.” His name rolled off my tongue like butter. My insides coiled with heat. It’d been a long time since I’d been with someone, and my body was signaling to me.
“I’ll see you around.”
When he left, Sophie switched seats. “So, today will forever be known as Dildo-Divorce-Gate.”
“What?”
“You know, kind of like Watergate or Deflate Gate, but only with dildos and divorce news.”
I laughed. “Alright, then. But let’s not mention Dildo-Divorce-Gate again. Kind of want to leave this moment behind us. In fact, how about we head home now?”
“Okay.”
“Sophie, can you please keep this quiet from your siblings for now? We can tell them when we get ready to move. And I sorta promised your dad not to tell Grandma and Grandpa.”
“Fine. But I’m not going to keep quiet about this forever,” she said.
“I don’t expect you to.”
“Can I at least talk to Mya? She’s been through this before when her mom and dad divorced.”
“That’s fine.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.”
A part of me felt relieved to have her know. At least it was one less person I had to lie to.
“So, I’m not sure if this is the best time to bring this up or not, but my birthday is coming up. Obviously, you know that,” Sophie said. “And I wondered if you might get me tickets to a concert coming to town? You could go with me. Mya and her mom were planning on attending. They just released more tickets. I think they’re planning on getting a hotel room, too.”
“Well, it is your seventeenth birthday, your last year before turning into an adult. Why don’t you send me a link with the information, and I’ll talk with your dad about watching the kids so we can go.” Maybe I could get Hal to pay for it, too, so it wouldn’t come out of my savings. Not that it mattered. I wanted Sophie’s day to be special, even if it meant a couple extra weeks under the same roof as my ex.
Later that night, after I tucked the youngest two in, I walked past Sophie’s room to hear her on the phone.
“Yeah, I just found out today about my parents’ divorce. It really sucks. I was mad at first, but now, I just want Mom to be happy and to stand up to my dad. He’s seriously an asshole. She didn’t really state the reasons for the divorce, but she didn’t really have to. I know he’s had affairs. She deserves better than him.”
Tears slid down my cheeks. She was right, I did deserve better, and hopefully soon, I’d be able to move on.