Chapter Twenty-One
M AUDE
The scent of bacon sizzling in the pan made my mouth water. It’d been a while since I’d made a big breakfast like this. Kerrie stood by the griddle, making pancakes, while I manned the meat and eggs. She and the kids had already been here a week. It had taken me a hot minute to get used to all the noise of the younger two, but I found I actually loved it. When Corny had passed, it’d gotten too quiet in here, almost unbearably so.
I imagined if my son, Layton, had not died in the Gulf War at the early age of twenty, I might’ve had some of my own grandchildren running around, although they likely would’ve been closer to Sophie’s age, or older by now.
Nella sat at the table, braiding her Barbie’s hair, while Tommy played on the floor in the living room with some of his race cars. Kerrie had gotten him a small rug with roads and such printed on it for him to roll his toy cars and trucks on.
Rays of sunlight peeked through the curtains, and I smiled. I never thought I’d find happiness again after Corny died. It still hurt to think about him lying to me. Some nights, I laid awake crying, questioning why God took him from me. Others, I cursed his name into my pillow before falling into a restless sleep. The truth was, my heart still hurt. If Kerrie and her kids hadn’t moved in, I’m not sure how I would’ve continued to deal with his loss. But I still struggled in the quiet moments before everyone woke up, or when I crawled into an empty bed.
I wasn’t sure if this sort of pain ever lessened. Sometimes, it’d be a song on the radio or seeing the funnies in the paper that he loved so much which caused me grief, or a flood of memories of days gone by would surface bringing me back to a time when he was still with me. Most days, I pushed through the loss and pain, others, I curled in a ball in my bed and sobbed. Fifty years of marriage to my love, Corny, but it didn’t seem long enough.
“Mom, do you mind if I hang out with Mya tonight? Her dad said I could sleep over if it was okay with you.” Sophie came into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
“Sure, but I want you home before noon tomorrow. Maude and I have work Monday, and we’ll need to go and get groceries for the week.”
“Which reminds me, make sure you put anything you want for lunches this week for you and the younger two on the list by the fridge,” I said.
“I will.” Sophie leaned over to stare at the bacon, inhaling deeply as she did. “This smells so good.”
“Ah, hands off until it’s done.” I swatted. “Now you’re acting like Corny, out here trying to steal food before it’s finished cooking.”
“Can’t blame me for trying, everything looks so freaking good.” Her stomach growled.
Kerrie and I had a pretty good system going now that they were settled. We rode to work together in the mornings, leaving my car here just in case Sophie had any emergencies or issues. She’d gotten her license a few days ago. We split the chores like dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and cooking, which was nice, as that meant some nights I could sit and relax.
When we finished brunch, Sophie did the dishes, while I went into my room to fold laundry. What would my life be like if I hadn’t become friends with Piper and Kerrie? They’d been lifesavers for me.
I stared at the cherry wooden box atop my dresser, the one that housed Corny’s ashes. A lump formed in my throat as I walked over and grabbed it, sitting on the edge of my bed. Tears slid down my cheeks.
God, how I missed him. I missed his smile, his laugh, the way his eyes twinkled when he teased me. I missed the way he smacked his lips during meals, and our drives into work. Most of all, I missed hearing the words, ‘I love you.’
“Soon, Corny, I’ll be ready to deal with things and give you the proper sendoff you deserve. I hope you can see me from where you are and know I’m doing okay. Kerrie and the kids have brightened my life so much. Not to mention Piper and Carlos. They’ll never replace you, but they’re a nice distraction.”
I rubbed my hand across the box, my wedding band glinting in the light that shone through my bedroom window.
“I love you, old man. Someday, we’ll be together again. Not quite yet, though. I have a lot more to do here, it seems. Kerrie and the kids need me. And Piper will need a lot of support, too, as she tries to figure out her own life. Who would’ve thought All For You Greeting Cards would give me a surrogate family?”
A knock sounded on my door, and I got up to put Corny’s ashes back on my dresser for now.
“Grandma Maude?” Sophie called from outside my room.
“Be right there.” I wiped the wetness from my eyes and hurried to the door to open it. “Did you need something?”
She flushed. “I actually wondered if you’d be okay with me driving your car over to Mya’s? She has to work early tomorrow, so I didn’t want to bother her for a ride home if I didn’t have to.”
I smiled. “Sure. Let me get the keys.”
We went to the dining room and grabbed them from a hook hanging on the wall.
“Thank you.” She leaned over and gave me a big hug.
“Remember, put your seatbelt on and no phone or texting or any of that garbage while you’re driving,” I said.
“I promise!” She raised her hand in a sort of pledge.
“Tell Demarcus I said hi,” Kerrie called from where she had settled onto the floor to play cars with Tommy.
Sophie rolled her eyes. “I will, but you could call him, you know.”
Kerrie chuckled and waved her off. “He’s working right now. I just meant to tell him hi when he got home from work later.”
“I could stay with Tommy and Nella tonight if you wanted to meet up with him for dinner or something,” I offered.
She shook her head. “Not tonight. We’re supposed to have a Go Fish Card-a-Thon, remember?”
I snorted. “Ah, don’t remind me. I’m horrible at Go Fish. Nella always beats me.”
Nella giggled. “I’ll let you win this time, Grandma Maude, I promise.”
“Sure, you say that now, but then poof , there go all the matching cards into your pile. Who wants to help Grandma make some cookies for later?”
“Me,” both Tommy and Nella hollered, jumping up and hurrying after me into the kitchen.
“Not so fast. What do we do with our toys when we’re not playing with them?” I asked.
“Put them away,” Tommy said, trudging back to the living room. I heard him toss his cars back into the toybox, then he appeared beside me once more.
“Let’s wash our hands, then I think we ought to get you two an apron, so you don’t get too messy. What do you think?”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Nella took a long pink one from me, and Kerrie came to help her tie it around her waist.
I snatched a blue one with the Cubs symbol on it and got it put on Tommy. I had to work at getting it up enough so he wouldn’t trip on it. “Alright, I think we’re ready to start baking. Let’s give everyone some ingredients to get from the cupboards and fridge.”
For the next two hours, we worked on making a couple of batches of chocolate chip cookies. Tommy probably had more flour on him than in the bowl, and Nella had definitely eaten a few chocolate chips along the way, or so said the dark brown ring around her mouth.
When they were piping hot, I set one down on each of their plates. “You know what’s good with a warm cookie?”
“No,” Nella said.
“A scoop of vanilla ice cream.” I moved toward the freezer to grab the container of ice cream.
“Grandma Maude sure knows how to spoil you guys,” Kerrie said, laughing. “It sounds good, although my hips might disagree.”
“Well, you only live once. Might as well enjoy the small things.”
That had become my new mantra. Enjoy the small things. Because none of us really knew how much time we had here. I wanted to do everything I could, while I could. Not just for me, but because Corny no longer could. It was my duty to make sure Kerrie, her kids, Piper, Carlos, and I did a lot of fun, memorable things. That way, when it was my time to go, I’d be ready. Although, I’d make sure I was around for a long while yet. I had to see the kids grown and doing well, and Kerrie and Piper happily settled in with their lives.
Yep, there were so many things left to do.