Chapter Twenty-Seven
MAUDE
Sophie had left to take the kids to the park a while ago, leaving me home alone in the stillness of the house. I could definitely tell when Kerrie and the kids were gone. It became almost too quiet.
I stood in my room, staring at the wooden box which held Corny’s ashes. I took a deep breath. For several days now, I’d been contemplating whether or not I was ready for this. But with the sun shining and a cool autumn breeze blowing, I knew Corny would’ve approved.
I was no longer angry with him for leaving me. Somewhere over the last few weeks, I’d come to terms with the decision he’d made not to continue his medications. Even if I didn’t agree with how everything played out, I accepted it now. Because it was hard to stay mad at someone I’d loved so fiercely for so long.
Taking the box from atop my dresser, I held it close to my chest, then reached down to grab the ‘thinking of you card’ I’d picked up for him. Piper’s idea about giving cards to exes had really stuck with me. Although, I guess Corny wasn’t technically my ex, not in the same sense of Kerrie and Piper’s exes. However, he was no longer here.
Swallowing past the boulder-sized lump in my throat, I moved slowly into the backyard toward the large maple tree that’d been here long before our house had been built. It was the same tree my husband had proposed to me under. An autumn day filled with the bursting bright colors of yellow, red, and burnt orange leaves. A tree that, later on, I’d brought Corny under to announce I was pregnant with our son. The same tree we grieved under after we received news of our son’s death several years later. We’d had picnics here beneath the shady canopy and bonfires at night. All our important decisions seemed to happen under the maple.
It seemed only fitting this be Corny’s final resting spot.
“Well, old man, it’s finally time to let you go. I’m trying to stay strong and keep plugging along because I know you’d want me to, but damn it if I don’t miss you.” My voice broke as a sob escaped me. “I promise, love, I’ll join you one day. So, wait for me up there, will you?”
With fumbling fingers, I opened the latch on the box, then untied the bag inside. The wind picked up as I slowly let his ashes drop. The breeze carried them around the tree and over the yard.
When the last remnants had sailed away, I shut the box and placed the thinking-of-you card against the tree under a rock. No need to read the words aloud. Corny knew how much I loved him and thought of him.
Right then, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and one around my waist. I turned toward Piper and Kerrie.
“No matter what happens, you’ll always have us,” Piper said, her eyes shimmering with wetness. “Corny would be so proud of how strong you’ve been.”
I sniffled. “Somedays, I don’t feel so strong.”
“None of us do, but the important thing is we keep going and picking ourselves up.” Kerrie leaned her head against mine as we stood beneath the tree.
“I love you guys,” I whispered. “You’re like my daughters and friends all rolled into one. Thank you for humoring an old lady these past few months.”
“To friendship.” Piper gave me another squeeze.
“To friendship,” Kerrie and I said in unison.
No matter what came my way from now on, I knew I could draw strength from these women. We’d seen one another through the best and worst of times, and we’d continue to do so.
Sometimes, it wasn’t always about the love we had or lost, but about the friendships we made along the way.