Chapter 16
Greta
Midnight came and went, and Greta was still awake.
Insomnia happened. It wasn’t a regular issue, but tonight, her mind was running too fast. She couldn’t sit at her table or her sofa without memories of Kaelee flooding her mind.
Not just the sex, either. The thought of Kaelee leaning against the counter, flirtatious and shy in alternating moments.
The thought of snuggling up to watch a regular show together.
The sight of Kaelee shelf-reading and commenting on titles she’d read.
Greta wanted that. She wanted a woman in her life and in her home.
She didn’t want just anyone, unfortunately.
I want that woman.
Greta hadn’t even realized that she had been missing the possibility of something new and exciting until Kaelee had brought it into her life.
The constant possibility of a message or a bold request was exciting—like dating.
Even though they had initially agreed that it was just sex, within two face-to-face meetings they had already revised that to friends with benefits.
Shifting to just friends instead of toward dating meant that Greta was forced to confront her own desire for a real relationship.
Tasha had moved on before they’d even separated, yet it had taken Greta over two years to reach this point. Her scattered one-nighters with Tash hadn’t helped, but that hadn’t seemed to be an issue at first. Greta hadn’t even realized she was ready until she met “Lee.”
Maybe it’s time to date for real.
A twinge in her chest made Greta pause. The app she usually used was for casual encounters.
Sappho’s Kiss definitely had the implied option of more, but they had a setting users could select from to state interests.
Greta knew the option was in there. The choice boxes a user selected were for one night, something casual, online fun, or “more.” Her profile as Marie was set to casual and one night.
Changing that to “more” seemed like saying she was done using the app for one-night-only connections.
Am I?
She considered switching her settings, but in the long term that meant not using the app to meet another one-nighter.
Her gut said that Sappho’s Kiss Society wasn’t the place to go for dating.
So Greta looked up a few articles on what sites were good for genuine queer connections, and then she downloaded Her, Zoe, Taimi, Bumble, and a couple of others.
Most had monthly fees, but they were low.
The hard part was adding her profile photos.
On the Sappho’s Kiss Society app, no one seemed to care that she was wary about showing her face.
They knew members were vetted—and that the app fees restricted who could join—so by default if a person had an account, she was a real person.
Every user had their real identity, credit reports, and medical checks on file with the company.
What if people mistook her unwillingness to show her face on these other apps as indicative that she was using a fake identity, married, or cheating? What if she did show her face and then she was approached by someone in the industry? An agent or editor? An author?
Greta was spiraling with panic when she got a notification of a message from Lee on the SKS chat. She flipped over instantly.
Lee: What are you doing?
Marie: Why are you messaging HERE?
Lee:…
She stared at the little dots that started and stopped several times before deciding she was too impatient.
Marie: Are you ok?
Lee: Sure.
Marie: Do you need to call?
Lee: I’m fine.
Marie: So…?
Lee: I miss your pussy.
Greta gasped at the blunt statement, not sure how to reply. This wasn’t how they spoke, not now. In addition to their text thread, they had spoken a couple of times a week since New York. She stared at the phone.
Lee: Sext me.
Marie: We can’t. You know that.
Lee: Cancel the damn book.
At that Greta closed the app and called Kaelee. “What’s happening right now?”
“Nothin’.” Kaelee slurred the word. “I’m a fucking imposter, Marie. Can’t do anything right. Can’t please anyone. ’Cept you. I pleased you, didn’t I? Let me do it again. I’ll be good to you.”
“Sweetie, you sound drunk. Where are you?” Greta didn’t hear any chatter or music. Instead everything was echoing vaguely, like Kaelee was in a small empty room. “Are you safe?”
Kaelee burst out laughing, a bark of noise.
“That’s a really great question. Am I? Do they know where I am?
I mean, not tonight. I’m mostly sure they don’t know where I am tonight.
Didn’t go home just in case. Can they be tracking my telly-phone, though?
These are good smart questions. You’re smart. ”
Greta felt panic rising at the things Kaelee was dancing around. “Are you alone? Do you know where you are? Did you meet someone and—”
“Can’t meet anyone. They’re not you. I just want your sweet, juicy pussy, Marie. You took it away, though. Left me.” Kaelee let out a burp. “Don’t drink the wine. I’m telling you. Wine’s bad.”
“Are you at a bar?”
“Nope.” She laughed. “Can’t get drunk in public. ’S not safe.”
“Okay. So are you at your apartment?” Greta’s mind spun.
She couldn’t get to Kaelee to help her. She was hours away.
Maybe she needed to call Toni. She was local and friends with Kaelee.
It wasn’t the worst idea Greta had ever had.
Sure, it might invite questions from Toni, but if Kaelee was in danger, Greta was willing to answer them.
“Can’t go to my place tonight. Doors unlocked themselves. Either the super’s not super, or I’m sleepwalking, or”—her voice dropped to a raspy whisper—“maybe they found me.”
“Who? Who are they?”
“Can’t tell you.” Kaelee had sounded matter-of-fact until she mentioned being found. Her voice wobbled as she continued, “Maybe I ought to just vanish again, so maybe the book needs canc’ling. I wouldn’t be your author then, so I thought you might sext me. Sext me, Greta. You know, like tex’ sex.”
“Kaelee, you need to tell me where you are.”
“Are you coming here for sex?” Kaelee sounded far more excited by that. “I can prob’ly crawl into the tub and clean up.” Crashing noises followed that. “Got to get my jeans off, though.”
“Do not get in the tub. Do you hear me?” Greta panicked at the thought of Kaelee drowning herself, passed out in a running tub.
“Okay. You like tellin’ me what to do? If I’m drunk enough, we could try that.”
Greta’s heart felt like it had cracked at the tone in Kaelee’s voice, raw and fragile. Carefully, she said, “If you need to get drunk to do something, I don’t want you to do it. I want you to take care of yourself.”
“What am I to do, then? I don’t know what I’m to do, Greta.” Kaelee sounded like she was weighing a much larger question about life.
“First, open your phone and put it on speaker.”
“Okay. Done.” Kaelee sounded far away. “Now what?”
“Now you send me your location. Right now.” Greta knew this was incredibly outside the norm of an editor-author friendship, but they weren’t just that, even if it’s what they were trying to be.
When Kaelee sent it, Greta could see that she was in a hotel. “What room number?”
“Eighteen-oh-six,” Kaelee answered. “Are you really coming to see me?”
“No, sweetie, I’m not. I just need to know you’re okay. You don’t sound okay right now.” Greta’s mind filled with visions of overdoses, being roofied, alcohol poisoning.
“I don’t drink like this. Not in lots of years,” Kaelee whispered. “I’m not a great drunk.”
“It’s okay. Did someone make you?”
“He can’t make me do anything. Not ever again.” Kaelee’s voice was stronger now, thick with anger. “Calling and threatening me.”
“Who?”
“Fucking Tripp.”
“Tripp?”
“My father,” Kaelee whispered.
“I need you to promise me that no matter what, we will discuss this tomorrow.” While she was waiting for a reply, Greta pulled out her laptop and sent a text to Toni Darbyshire asking, You awake?
Kaelee’s sleepy, drunken voice sounded less alert as she said, “Why do you care? You don’t even know all my names. You were going to give my book away to some other editor, toss me out. That’s it. Too bad, too sad, go away, ’Brina.”
Brina? Who the hell is Brina? Another app name?
“I care because we’re friends. I like you whether you are Kaelee or Lee or Brina or any other name you want. I care about you.” Greta sighed. “And I wasn’t tossing you away. I was trying to take care of you and your book.”
“I want you to take care of me,” Kaelee whispered. “And my book.”
“Okay.”
For a moment there was only silence, then Kaelee said, “He scared me when he called. He’s a bad man.”
“Then we’ll figure it out together,” Greta promised. Her phone buzzed. Toni was calling her. She looked down and realized that there were three texts from Toni.
Toni: Did you mean to text me?
Toni: Greta? Hello.
Toni: Damn it. Now I can’t focus. Calling you.
At that, Greta made a quick decision. “Kaelee, I want you to drink a glass of water. I’ll be right back.”
Then she flipped over to Toni’s call. “I know it’s late, but I need you to check on Kaelee. I’m texting you her address and room number.”
“Kaelee. My TA Kaelee?” Toni sounded off. “I need a little info here, Greta.”
“She needs a friend, Toni. I’m in Manhattan, and you’re both in DC so I just need you to make sure she’s okay. She’s drunk or drugged or I don’t know. She called, and…” Greta huffed out a breath. “There’s something that happened. I’m not even sure what, but she’s a mess.”
“About the book?”
“No. In her personal life.” Greta weighed the incredible awkwardness of what she was about to do.
“Just so you know before she says anything in her drunken state, I met her before. I had no idea who she was then. Just a … hookup. Tonight isn’t about that, but she’s drunk right now and sounds like she’s in a bad way and called me.
So in case she says anything, I just thought I should tell you. ”
Toni sighed. “You know she doesn’t date, right?”
Greta snorted. “Neither do I. It was a hookup, but now things are odd. When I bought her book, I had no idea that the author I was emailing was the woman I—”
“Don’t finish that sentence.” Toni sounded like she was flinching. “You better tell Em, though. Seriously. I don’t want to be the person caught in the middle.”
“Just go check on Kaelee. Please?” Greta asked.
Toni disconnected, and Greta flipped back to her call with Kaelee only to be met with silence. She had no idea what had happened. “Kaelee? Are you there? Kaelee?”
All she heard in return was silence. Not a ringtone. Not a reply.