Chapter 21 Kaelee
Kaelee
Kaelee watched as Greta slid her panties off and stepped out of them.
There were so many things she needed to figure out after that damn envelope on her car.
She felt weak and out of control of her own life, bailing on her friends, running away from her city, leaving her apartment.
But this part of life made sense, more than anything else.
She knew this. She understood sex with a gorgeous woman.
Right now, Greta looked down at her like she was special, like she was amazing, and that feeling was better than any liquor or even the rush from being at the gym.
Kaelee considered telling her how much it meant that she had decided to spend this weekend with her, admitting how afraid and lost she was, confessing how much steadier she felt just knowing she wasn’t alone with her fears.
Instead, Kaelee came to her knees and held out a hand to steady Greta as she stepped into the water. “Right there, darlin’. Can you sit right there for me?”
“On the edge of the tub?”
“Yes.” Kaelee directed Greta’s hands so they were on either side of her luscious hips. “Just hold yourself right here for me. Can you stay like this?” She stared up at her, leaning upward to suck on a nipple before adding, “I need one of these lovely legs up on my shoulder, darlin’.”
She bit Greta’s other nipple lightly, noting that Greta arched into that more than she did a gentle suckle. So she repeated that action on the other side.
When Kaelee crouched back down, she bit and suckled Greta’s inner thigh, leaving a hickey there, before directing that leg onto her shoulder. She met Greta’s gaze. “Teeth, huh?”
“Sometimes,” Greta acknowledged.
Kaelee bit her again, sucking and nipping and leaving tiny bruises in her wake. “Are you okay like this? Steady?”
“Yes.” Greta stared at her like she was transfixed.
“I like having you on display for me, darlin’. Do you know that?” Kaelee leaned in and dragged the flat of her tongue over Greta’s already wet sex, and then continued tasting and teasing her until Greta’s hand came up to cup Kaelee’s head.
Kaelee stopped. “Hand back where I put it, darlin’. You aren’t the one in charge right now.”
Greta’s breathing hitched. “Will I be at all?”
“If you’re really, really good, maybe later.” Kaelee wanted that, more than she had with any other person, but she wanted control right now. Needed it. Her life was fractured, and she really had to take control of something, someone, or she was afraid she’d spiral. “Trust me.”
“I do,” Greta swore, putting her hand back on the tub.
Kaelee rose to her knees again. “Let’s try a little game, Greta. You do whatever I say, and if you listen really well, I’ll let you tell me what to do later tonight.”
“Sober? I only want that if you can stay sober to do it.” Greta held her gaze.
“I’ll do what you say all weekend if you need, Kaelee.
If that will make you feel better, I’m here for you, however you need.
There’s no payment for it, no need to offer me control.
I want to be whatever you need. That’s it. ”
Kaelee felt like her chest was constricted.
She surged forward and kissed Greta, sliding her tongue into her mouth and licking her way inside.
She had to kiss Greta in order to keep her own words from escaping.
Greta was exactly right for her. She understood the things Kaelee didn’t want to admit.
She made it feel like Kaelee was normal to have issues.
When Kaelee pulled back, she said, “Games can wait.”
She kissed Greta again, and this time she angled her hand so her palm was pressing on Greta’s clit and her fingers were stroking her. Greta whimpered into the kiss.
And when they pulled apart, Greta said, “What do you need?”
“You. Naked in my arms.”
“May I get up?” Greta asked. “Tell me exactly what to do, Kaelee.”
Kaelee stood and held out a hand. “Come dry me off.” She held out a towel. “Hard.”
Without a word, Greta took the towel and rubbed Kaelee’s arms, legs, and torso. She looked at Kaelee as she held the towel in front of her chest. “Here?”
“Yes.” Kaelee swallowed. “You should check if I’m wet anywhere else, Greta.” Then Kaelee took Greta’s hand and directed it down.
“Right here,” Greta said, stroking Kaelee’s pussy. “This feels pretty damp. Shall I check?”
At first Kaelee thought that sounded exactly right, but as Greta slipped her fingers along Kaelee’s skin, she couldn’t bear it. The wave of pleasure that threatened to roll over her felt too much like falling. She grabbed Greta’s wrist. “Enough. I need…”
Without a word, Greta understood. “Tell me. You’re in control, Kaelee. Just you.”
Kaelee could have wept at both the fact that she knew she could eventually hand control over to this woman and the fact that Greta didn’t pressure her to do that. She didn’t try to make demands. She respected whatever fucked-up boundaries Kaelee had.
She swept Greta into her arms, cradling her, and said only, “Thank you.” The words were a thin version of all the things Kaelee could say but talking about all of that wasn’t what she needed. Not right now.
Without letting all those words spill out, Kaelee carried Greta to the hotel bed and lowered her carefully. “Touch yourself for me.”
Greta stared at her for a minute. “Touch myself in front of you?”
Kaelee paused at the hesitation in her voice. She wanted this, but if Greta was uncomfortable with it, they could certainly do something else. “You like to be on display, darlin’. I like to look at you.”
“I do like both of those.” Greta glanced at the window. The blinds were drawn, even though they were on the eighteenth floor. “Not on the bed, though … unless you need me here.”
“What about over there? You keep looking at the window.” She held a hand out to Greta. “You want to have strangers watch you, too?”
“Yes.” Greta slid off the bed and walked to the window. Beside it was a wooden desk. She stood there as Kaelee pulled open the blinds, illuminating her in the falling light of sunset.
“Turn around. Face the window,” Kaelee ordered. She stepped up close behind her, pulling Greta flush against her and keeping her arm around her like a belt. “I have you.”
Greta nodded. “You do. I know I’m safe because you’re here.”
“Same,” Kaelee admitted around the sudden knot in her throat.
In the next moments, the only sounds were their breathing as Kaelee used her free hand to pluck Greta’s nipples so they stood in sharp points. “Do you think someone out there could be looking out their window to see your naked beauty all on display right now?”
“Maybe. I want them to see what it’s like to be touched by you.”
“Ah, but they won’t see me, darlin’. I’m just the hand touching you.” Kaelee whispered the words against her neck, kissing her damp skin between words. “It’s you on display.”
“I feel reckless with you,” Greta whispered.
“I have you. I’ll keep you safe.” Kaelee would keep Greta safe from all threats.
She had to. That was the problem. Greta made everything feel bearable, but Kaelee couldn’t risk Greta’s safety, or her career.
She deserves better than me. Kaelee’s voice was thick as she swore, “Tonight, I’ll take care of all these needs we had to ignore lately. Can I do that?”
“Yes, please.”
“Can you do only what you’re told?”
“For you. Yes.” Greta was trembling already.
“Your pretty pussy is hidden away with your legs all closed together like that.” Kaelee trailed her hand between Greta’s breasts and over her stomach. “Such a bad girl. Hiding yourself. Don’t you want to show anyone watching what they can’t touch?”
“Yes.”
Kaelee pinched her inner thigh. “Open up. Foot on the desk.” She steadied Greta as she shifted, propping one foot on the side railing of the desk. “There’s my good girl. What should we do, darlin’? You’re right here, on display like a treat in a window.”
“Kaelee…” Greta whined. “Tell me what you want.”
“Show everyone out there watching what you do when you think of me,” Kaelee suggested. “Show me.”
Greta’s right hand slipped between her legs. Her whole body shivered as she circled her clit slowly. “Pinch me again, please.”
Kaelee pinched Greta’s nipples again, staring at their reflection in the window as night fell. She was nothing but hands on Greta; most of Kaelee’s body was hidden behind her lover.
She whispered, “Do you think that strangers can see you like this? That they have their hands on their lovers’ bodies as they watch you?”
Greta moaned and grabbed Kaelee’s wrist and directed it lower. “Here.”
Kaelee complied, gently, though.
“I wish…”
“What?” Kaelee asked.
But Greta shook her head. “No. You’re in control.”
“Tell me.”
Greta met her eyes in the reflection in the window. “I want you to take more control.”
The words were magical for Kaelee. She grabbed the desk chair and dragged it forward. “Hold this. Bend over. Eyes watching your reflection.”
Greta’s expression was too blissed out for words. She complied, staring at them in the reflection as Kaelee placed Greta’s hands on top of the back of the chair. For a moment, Greta didn’t respond when Kaelee nudged her legs apart. Kaelee’s hand came down on Greta’s ass in a light smack.
The next time when Greta didn’t move without Kaelee applying pressure, Kaelee knew it was intentional disobedience. Her hand came down harder. Greta’s breath caught, and she met Kaelee’s eyes in the reflection.
“Look at you.” Kaelee’s voice shook. “Hiding your pussy again. Bent over so no one can see.”
“But you put me—”
“And now you argue with me?” Kaelee sighed exaggeratedly and swatted Greta’s cheeks again. “I thought you could be good, darlin’?”
“I can.” Greta widened her legs more as Kaelee plunged two fingers into Greta’s dripping body. “More fingers. Faster.”
“Good girls help, darlin’. Touch yourself.” Kaelee added a third finger, watching as Greta rubbed her clit while Kaelee drove her fingers in harder and faster. Her own body tightened in a way that giving pleasure created. Sometimes she thought she’d get off just from the joy of giving.
The sound of Greta’s whimpering and moaning felt loud in the silent hotel room. “Such a good girl, Greta. Are you going to show everyone how beautiful you are when you get off?”
“Yes. Please, yes.”
Kaelee leaned forward, her body tight against Greta’s, and bit the side of Greta’s throat gently. Her free arm wrapped around Greta so that it was like a bandolier over Greta’s chest.
When Greta’s orgasm hit, her knees buckled, but Kaelee tightened the hold of the arm around her to keep her from falling. Then Kaelee scooped her up and carried her back to the bed. Greta curled against her like a boneless creature.
“Thank you,” Kaelee whispered as she kissed the top of Greta’s head. “Are you okay with everything?”
“Very okay. I’m the one who’s sated, and you’re saying thank you to me?” Greta sighed. “You spoil me, Kaelee. I was afraid we’d never get to do anything again, and … I want this. I want you. I don’t know what that means long term, but I want this.”
The feel of her hot wet center against Kaelee’s hip was almost as distracting as the pulse between her own legs. Kaelee kept Greta pinned tightly to her side and said, “You were very good. Tell me what to do, Greta.”
Briefly, Kaelee hoped that Greta didn’t notice that she had used her actual name instead of a pet name, but all Greta said was “Rules?”
“Hold me. Help me. Fuck me. Please?” Kaelee whispered, half embarrassed at how badly she needed this tonight, how badly she had needed Greta ever since they met.
But then Greta asked, “Hard or soft?”
Kaelee struggled to get the words out, but she managed to say, “I want to give you control. I want … you to decide. No mouth. No toys. Just you.”
“Even when you give me control, it’s still yours,” Greta promised her as she slid her hand lower.
“Take my wrist in your hand. You can squeeze it, if you need me to be faster … or you can tell me what you want. Now, later, whatever works. All I want is to make you feel good. You have the control even now, Kaelee. I am still at your mercy.”
Kaelee was glad that Greta couldn’t see the tears of relief in her eyes. No one had ever made her feel so safe and treasured. And the result was that no one had ever led her toward orgasm as frequently and surely as Greta.
Whatever it takes, I can’t endanger you, Greta, Kaelee thought as Greta played her body like she knew Kaelee’s every secret already. I have never felt so sure of my own joy as I do with you.
Out loud, she said none of that. She’d accepted that her trauma and issues with sex were permanent, but with Greta she felt safer, and her boundaries sometimes faded. Honestly, Kaelee hadn’t thought such a thing was possible.
I’ll treasure it while it lasts, but it’s not forever. It can’t be. I can’t endanger Greta by staying in her life.