Chapter 25 Greta #2
Greta gathered her weekend bag and her work bag, which held her laptop, and walked out of the train car and into the station.
Unexpectedly, Kaelee was waiting at the seating area.
She looked more relaxed than Greta expected, a long winter coat folded over her arm and a scarf wrapped around her neck.
Without a word, she held a hand out for Greta’s shoulder bag.
“You don’t have to carry my things,” Greta protested briefly.
“True, but I want to.” Kaelee still had her hand extended. “Please?”
Greta kept her roller bag, but she handed over her work bag, which Kaelee promptly shouldered. Then Kaelee held her arm open, inviting an embrace.
“Can I kiss you yet?” Greta whispered as Kaelee wrapped a strong arm around Greta’s back and held her close for a moment.
“Please.” Kaelee shifted so they were face-to-face. Her smile was a little embarrassed as she said, “I don’t know if I can manage much more than kisses tonight. I slept horribly last night. If I wasn’t picking you up, I’d already be asleep.”
Greta pressed her lips to hers in a brief, chaste kiss.
“Just like Philly—and actually just like in Manhattan before I knew your name—I’m not here just for sex, Kaelee.
I want to see you, talk to you, and be around you.
Plus, since I have work to do while I’m here, and I grabbed dinner before I caught the train, an early night sounds perfect.
Work during the day, and after work…” She gave a sort of shrug, limited by the fact that Kaelee still held her close.
“After work tomorrow, we have dinner plans.” Kaelee swallowed visibly. “To go out.”
“Oh?”
“I made reservations, and then a show.” Kaelee nudged her forward, taking her hand now, and then led her through the station.
“There’s a ballet I wanted to see at the Eisenhower Theater at the Kennedy Center.
I wasn’t going to spend a night alone there, and I don’t really think going as a third wheel with my friend and her fiancée is a great plan. ”
“I wondered why you said to bring a nice dress.” Greta flashed her a warm smile as they dodged a man scurrying toward the departure area. “Are you taking me out?”
“On a date,” Kaelee said, pausing before weaving through an oncoming crowd.
“Is that so? Are we … dating now?” Greta was trying to keep up on Kaelee’s acceptance or categorization of what was happening between them.
“We are going on a date, and I’m hoping to seduce you after that date.” Kaelee sounded less pained each time she said the word “date.” She motioned toward the parking garage sign. “This way.”
Greta followed along, her bag clacking behind her. “Well, I have it on good authority that your date is very attracted to you, especially if there’s great conversation and you’re dressed up.”
“I’m not wearing a dress.”
Greta smiled. “Excellent. I will be, and I’m hoping that my date will be wearing something with buttons I can slowly open after we are back at her place. I’ll have you know I am exactly the sort of woman to round all the bases on the first date if things go well.”
Kaelee led her to a worn BMW and opened the trunk. “I have to tell you something, darlin’.”
“Yes?”
“I think this isn’t our first date.” Kaelee put the bags in and slammed the lid. She turned from the trunk to face Greta. “I mean, ‘a rose by any other name,’ right?”
“So we’re doing this?” Greta rested both palms on Kaelee’s chest and leaned up to kiss her chin.
“If it quacks like a date, walks like a date, has sex like a date … Am I wrong?”
“No. I thought the same thing.” Greta reached out and cupped her face. “Are you okay with that?”
“I think I actually am.” Kaelee turned her head and kissed Greta’s palm. “I can’t give you a dating-toward-a-commitment promise right now, but I can date casually. Is that okay?”
“Of course it is.”
Kaelee walked to the passenger door and opened it. “I thought about it last weekend. About what I’m feeling. About what we’re doing. We’re dating, and I like it.”
“It certainly looks like that.” Greta slid into the car. It was pristine, despite age. “You take good care of your car.”
“I take good care of anything that’s mine,” Kaelee said before closing the door and walking around to the driver’s side. When she got in, she turned on the car and then reached out and took Greta’s hand.
Greta didn’t resist or comment. What was happening between them seemed to move along at its own pace, and realizing they had both admitted that they were dating after the weekend in Philly basically just meant they were on the same page—even though they had both initially sworn they had zero interest in dating.
They were both quiet as Kaelee drove toward a building that looked more like a house than apartment. The harsh streetlights didn’t do it any favors, but it was surprisingly large. Greta asked, “You have a house?”
“No. I have a studio on the third floor.” Kaelee pulled into a parking spot and came around to open Greta’s door. Kaelee extended a hand to her to steady her while she stood.
“You don’t have to do that. I’m stable on my heels. I told you that when we met.” Greta followed her to the trunk.
Kaelee held her gaze and said, “I told you, Greta: I take care of anything that’s mine, and I want you to be mine.” Then she pulled out Greta’s two bags as if she hadn’t just said something momentous and continued, “My place is small. It’s not fancy.”
“Will you be in it?” Greta paused and when Kaelee nodded, Greta added, “Then it’s perfect. I’m here to be with you.”
Kaelee’s nod was brief, and her expression tightened as she looked at the building.
“If this is not comfortable for you, I can stay in a hotel,” Greta offered. “Honestly, it’s—”
“I’ve never brought anyone date-ish here.
That’s all.” Kaelee straightened her shoulders, pulling them back resolutely.
“I do want you here, but it’s still … a lot to make sense of.
I’m planning dates and having you stay with me.
I didn’t plan to catch feelings and … it’s just that I might need a minute or weekend or whatever to let my panic pass here and there. ”
“Understood.” Greta’s heart felt too full as she followed Kaelee inside the building. “I feel incredibly lucky right now to be welcomed here. Are you good with going inside?”
“If you are … It’s a tiny place. Cramped.” Kaelee started toward the building even as they spoke and carried Greta’s bags up the stairs, toting both bags with ease.
“I’m not here for the apartment,” Greta reminded her, trailing behind her up the narrow steps.
At the door of the apartment, Kaelee used three more keys on a series of locks.
Inside, she relocked all of those and a fourth one that had no external key.
She looked down like she was expecting judgment, but if the extra security on the door made her feel safe, why judge?
Some people had alarm systems, video monitoring, handguns, and dogs.
Others lived in gated communities. From what Greta had read about Kaelee’s family and what she knew about Kaelee’s assault, Greta couldn’t fault her for having a few extra locks.
“I won’t be going out without you, so I don’t expect to need a key ring. I was hoping either I could edit here, or I could come onto campus and work in a library or coffee shop.” Greta kept her tone mild, hoping it would clarify that she was not judging or reacting in any critical way.
Kaelee flashed her a warm smile. “Ten-cent tour. This is the living, bedroom, dining room, and kitchen.” She pointed to a door. “That’s the bathroom, and behind you is the exit.”
Greta took in the small space as she removed her coat and scarf.
Kaelee had constructed a room partition of sorts with three very tall bookshelves that divided a sleeping area.
The table was a three-seater, as the fourth side was against the wall.
“It’s a bit bigger than my first New York apartment. I had a futon that was also my bed.”
“I have a futon for the living area, but I splurged on the bed when I sold the books.” Kaelee motioned again to the bed.
“It’s one of those foam mattresses that enlarges as it is freed from the packaging.
I’m not entirely sure how it’ll come out of here when I move.
Same with the bookshelves. I brought them in unassembled. ”
“I brought you a gift for your shelf.” Greta reached in her shoulder bag, which was still on Kaelee’s shoulder, and pulled out the red-and-silver-wrapped package.
Kaelee took it. “I do like books. Can I open it now? I didn’t get you anything. Christmas is a few weeks away yet.”
“Open it. It’s one of the most riveting books I’ve read this year. I wanted you to have a copy.” Greta leaned down and unzipped her boots, leaving them at the door next to Kaelee.
After Kaelee put their coats on a row of coat hooks, she carried the wrapped book to the futon, sat, and carefully unwrapped each seam. When she reached the book inside, she met Greta’s eyes. “That’s mine. Greta … that’s my book.”
“It is.” Greta watched Kaelee trail her fingertips over the cover. “It’s a phenomenal book. I feel so grateful to have been the editor.” She sat next to Kaelee. “The night you messaged when I said I was reading, that was your book. I had it in my closet when you were in my apartment.”
“If you’d have said the book’s name or the author or anything…” Kaelee shook her head. “I’d have figured it out.”
“And I would have lost that night in New York. I’m glad I didn’t know who you were when we met or when you messaged that weekend,” Greta confessed, staring at her with her heart in her throat.
“I’m sorry I hesitated when you asked if letting Ian edit the sequel could mean we…
” Her words trailed off. “I wanted more already then, and I wasn’t as worried about my career as my heart.
You even said no to talking, and I was already interested in more after we texted and then …
I just thought that since you weren’t interested, I could use the book to keep my distance. ”
Kaelee took her hand. “Not seeking feelings and ignoring them when they sneak in seem like different things. I wasn’t looking for this either, you know? I’m terrified of how much I already like you.”
“I get that. I have a terrible history with dating,” Greta admitted.
“Well, I have none.” Kaelee pulled Greta closer.
“I am not ready to think beyond now. I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m not looking for forever or marriage.
” Kaelee stared at her like she was expecting anger.
“I want to try dating, but I don’t have long-term goals.
Marriage is a trap to control women, typically. I don’t want that for either of us.”
“It’s not always a trap.” Greta snuggled in closer and rested her head against Kaelee’s, so they were forehead to forehead. “I’m not looking for a ring. I just want to be around you and have you naked. Are those things both on offer?”
“For you? Yes.”
“Then we’re fine,” Greta promised. “That’s enough. You are enough for me.”
Kaelee pulled her into a tender kiss that felt like it was filled with words she wasn’t saying, and Greta melted deeper into her embrace.
Knowing the future was uncertain seemed perfectly fine because right now, the present was exactly what Greta wanted.
A woman she was falling for had her arms around her, had planned a date for tomorrow, and was kissing her thoroughly.
What else is there?
Kaelee leaned back slightly, her words warm against Greta’s lips, and asked, “What are your opinions on quickies?”
“With you?”
“Yes, with me,” Kaelee said. “If I’m dating, it’s going to be exclusive.”
“Thank God. I wanted to ask, but…”
“Ask for what you need. Always. In bed and out.” Kaelee sounded incredibly serious for a moment. “So many of us are trained not to ask for what we need from the world. I don’t want that for us or anyone, really.”
Greta nodded. “I want you to do with me what you will. I’m always interested in sex with you … but what happened to ‘not tonight’?”
“I might not be able to stay up all night like in Philly, but I was a fool to think I could have you in my apartment and not touch you,” Kaelee confessed sheepishly.
“Then touch me. I’m yours now.” Greta reached down to untie her wrap dress, but Kaelee caught her wrist.
“I prefer unwrapping this present myself.”