Chapter 35 Kaelee
Kaelee
When Kaelee left New York—and Greta—a day later, she still felt like her heart had been ground up, both by talking about all her old trauma and by trying to let herself love Greta without panic.
Everything between them had happened so quickly—although “quickly” was somehow already four months now.
Every time they decided to face where they were, Kaelee felt like they immediately leaped forward.
Kaelee let herself spiral for almost two weeks, and Greta simply sent texts and messages as if nothing was wrong.
She sent cute memes and silly videos. She allowed Kaelee to be who she was, process her feelings at her own pace, and ultimately that was why they worked.
They both accepted the other person for who she was.
I don’t deserve a woman like her, Kaelee’s insecurities taunted over and over in a voice that sounded like Tripp’s. I’ll ruin it.
When release week came along, Toni and Kaelee were supposed to launch Kaelee’s book in Houston, at a store that managed to sell both fantasy and mystery.
“You look constipated,” Toni said as they walked through Dulles toward their gate.
Kaelee exhaled. “Not sure why I’m doing this.”
“Because it’s in your contract?” Toni nodded. “That’s why tours exist, according to Emily.” When Kaelee said nothing in response, Toni added, “Fine. To support sales, meet readers, and also because the booksellers at Murder By The Book are amazing.”
“That’s why you’re going,” Kaelee stressed. “No one is going to read my book, and if they buy it it’s just because of your endorsement quote and—”
“You are starting to make me look cheerful in comparison.” Toni led her to a pair of seats that were not actually at their gate, but at an adjacent one with no flight currently scheduled. “Better here. It’s empty.”
Walking through the airport with Toni made Kaelee feel like a huge imposter.
“Kae? They cannot like it until they buy and read it,” Toni pointed out for the third time in the last week.
Kaelee nodded. “I know. I do.”
They lapsed into silence until boarding, and Kaelee popped in earbuds to drown out the doubts in her head.
It was done. The book was out, in libraries, in stores, in packages shipping to houses from online stores, in hands carrying it home, in audio or ebook formats that had automatically downloaded at midnight last night.
When they grabbed their bags and went to the hotel, Kaelee had finally managed to quell her panic. That was further simplified when they walked into the lobby and a beautiful woman in a wrap dress stood up and said, “Hi.”
“Greta?”
“I wanted to surprise you.” Greta held out a bouquet of flowers. “Happy release day.”
When Toni cleared her throat awkwardly, they looked at her.
“You’re making a scene.” Toni nodded at a man with a camera. “Never a good thing when the vultures are near.”
Greta handed them both a key card. “The car will be here at six. Meet in the lobby. Charlie will be on site, too.” Toni walked away. Then Greta took Kaelee’s hand and tugged her to the elevators. “Come on. We can grab room service unless you’d rather go out.”
In answer, Kaelee leaned in for a quick kiss. “Cancel the event. Cancel everything ever after. I just want to be in your arms.”
Greta’s laugh trilled out. “You are the most romantic woman I’ve met—or really anxious about the signing. Either way, I’m glad you don’t mind me showing up.”
“I was sad not to launch in DC or New York where I could see you on release day.” Kaelee jabbed the elevator button. “What if everyone hates it?”
“You got a starred review already.”
“But that other review—”
“They hate everyone.” Greta rolled her eyes. “Preorders look good; reviews overall are good. Let’s celebrate release.”
The elevator doors slid open, and they stepped in.
Before the door closed, an arm reached in and stopped it. “Sabrina.”
Kaelee felt like her stomach rose up and caught in her throat. Standing there was Tripp Alden, and behind him was a small army of people. Tripp was older, which Kaelee had known intellectually, but seeing him in person shocked her so badly that all she said was, “You got old.”
He raised his brow. “Excuse me?”
“I knew time passed, but you were taller in my memories. Younger. More intimidating.” Kaelee stabbed the button to close the elevator doors before she stepped in front of Greta. She looked back at Greta and whispered, “Sorry.”
And then she stepped out.
She stayed beside Tripp so the only way for Greta to get out, too, was to shove one of them. Hopefully, Greta would stay upstairs. The thought of her having to face Tripp—even this older version of him—made Kaelee’s fears boil away.
Why is it easier to protect someone else than to protect ourselves?
Why did no one protect me?
Kaelee took in her father. He was a shade over six feet, wide shouldered, and his suit screamed “money” to anyone who looked his way.
His wedding band glinted on one hand. A thick ring adorned the opposite hand, and a diamond-decorated watch glinted on his wrist. Despite what the media wanted to project, not all villains were ugly.
In fact, Kaelee believed the most successful ones were probably innocuous or at the least moderately attractive.
They blended into the fabric of society better that way.
“Came for the book signing?” Kaelee asked as she strolled past him. “If I’d known writing a book would make you crawl out of your tower of self-righteousness, I wouldn’t have done it, but now that I have, it’s not going away. Thousands of copies sit on shelves already today.”
“You embarrass the family name.” His hand tightened in a fist, but Tripp cared about his reputation too much to hit her in public.
“I don’t share a name with you, so no, I don’t. Although, honestly, I used to bank on your fear of embarrassment, you know?” Kaelee walked over to a chair and sat, thrilled that he followed her. She was leading.
I am not afraid. I am not a child to cower in front of him. Not now. Not ever again.
“Sit like a lady, Sabrina.” Tripp scowled at her.
So Kaelee threw a leg over the arm of the chair. “Nah.”
His lips tightened; his jaw clenched.
She waved at the four attorneys trailing behind him like a bad smell. She had no doubt that they were competent at their job, probably among the best that money could buy. “How’s things?”
“My offer was generous. The kill fee to you and to the publisher. I’ll double it right now.” Tripp held out a hand, a check already in it. “Written out to that ridiculous name you chose.”
“You know, I don’t feel like a Sabrina. I don’t think I ever did.
” She looked at the check in his hand. She couldn’t see all of it, but she had no doubt that it was an obscene amount.
If not for the money her grandparents had left her, if not for the book deal, the number of zeros on that check would be impossible to refuse.
“Was I the only problem your money couldn’t fix? ”
“If not for your mother’s parents’ money—”
“Ah. Nice ploy trying to have me declared dead or incompetent,” Kaelee said, voice still not wavering. “Now you want to lie about my mental state to take away the money that allowed me to be who I am. Clever. Deceitful. Cruel. It’s a very you thing to do.”
The elevator chimed, and Kaelee didn’t have to look up to know that Greta was here. Her steps stabbed the floor in a quick, aggressive march.
“Did you give Kyle permission for what he did to me? He said you did. Is it true?” Kaelee asked. “That’s the only question I have before I leave. Did you?”
“Women need a firm hand. Discipline. Some more than others.” He didn’t even have the grace to look ashamed. “Yes. I suggested he encourage you to see the right order of things. Your rebellious claim that you were a…”
“Lesbian,” Kaelee filled in, dragging the word out exaggeratedly. “I am a lesbian, Tripp.”
Needing to look anywhere else to keep her minimal in-flight lunch from rising, Kaelee jerked her gaze away from him. Greta was staring at her, not looking angry but worried. She had reached Kaelee’s side and stood like a sentinel. Her hand closed on Kaelee’s shoulder. “Okay?”
Kaelee nodded once.
“Thank you for coming. Ms. Carpenter and I were hoping this wasn’t necessary.…” Greta wasn’t looking at Tripp, though. The attorneys, Marissa and Tasha, flowed across the lobby like avenging angels. “Do you have this?”
“We do.” Marissa looked at Kaelee. “This will be what we need to argue for a no-contact order.”
“I do appreciate you doing the work for us, Mr. Alden. Your actions today will be enough to convince the judge that you are, in fact, threatening our client.” Tasha had the sort of vicious glee in her eyes that would be more suited for someone holding a sword or a gun. Instead, she had a sheaf of papers.
“Sabrina.” Tripp stood and extended the check. “Don’t be unreasonable.”
Kaelee took the check. She stood there and calmly shredded it into tiny pieces.
Then she met his eyes again. “Unreasonable was giving Kyle permission to rape me. Unreasonable is hitting my mother. Unreasonable is donating your money to hate-mongers.” She dropped the pieces of the check on the floor.
“My name, incidentally, is Kaelee. Kae for my grandmother. Lee for my grandfather. And Carpenter … you’d think you would have caught that reference since you claim to follow Christianity, despite your hate, your adultery, your lies and greed and gluttony and pride. ”
“You talk to me that way? Surrounding yourself with harlots and jezebels.” His face was red with rage.
Kaelee laughed briefly and whispered, “Fuck you.”
And then she took Greta’s hand in hers and walked away. Someone had already pressed the elevator button, so they strode from the lobby into the elevator car without pause.
As the doors closed, Kaelee let out the breath she’d been holding.
Telling Tripp off felt validating, and she wished she could tell the teen version of herself who had cowered before him that one day, they would finally get their say.
She wished she could tell young Kaelee that everything she could dream would be hers one day—freedom, safety, courage, security, love. All of it.
Instead, I will write my sapphic books, and tell other kids that we can be heroes, that we can find love, that we can be happy.
The adrenaline crash from facing Tripp was real, though. She shivered. Once they were in the elevator, Kaelee felt as if the strings that held her upright had loosened.
She tugged Greta into her arms. “You know, I was trying to keep you out of his path while I confronted him. That’s why I sent you away. I wanted to protect you.”
“And I was trying to be sure you knew you weren’t alone. You don’t have to face every monster alone.” Greta stroked Kaelee’s back in small soothing circles as Kaelee clutched her. Greta added, “Risa and Tash will take care of things.”
“He’s smaller.” Kaelee flushed, feeling foolish saying it, but it was the truth. “As a kid, he seemed huge and terrifying. Today … I don’t know. He was an old man in a nice suit, but he didn’t scare me the same way.”
“It’s easier to terrorize children, to try to intimidate those who are physically smaller than you.” Greta led her out of the elevator and into the hallway.
Kaelee twined her fingers with Greta’s. “Honestly, men like him are part of why I go to the gym. I hated feeling weaker, afraid of him, flinching when he moved like he was going to hit me.”
Greta opened a hotel room door, and Kaelee realized that her bags were already here. Greta shrugged. “They were in the elevator with me.”
“Would you hate me if I said I need a few minutes to get my head in order?”
Greta kissed her tenderly. “Shower. Nap if you need. I can order food.”
After a shower, sex, food, and a nap, Greta calmly led Kaelee to the lobby where Toni and Charlie were waiting.
“Your father was here?” Toni said as they approached.
“Waving around checks and spouting hate.” Kaelee shrugged, trying to blow it off.
Toni, in a completely uncharacteristic move, pulled her into a hug. “I’m proud of you for standing up. Charlie filled me in, as did your dynamic duo here.” She lowered her voice to a whisper, “If you need to talk to someone, my therapist is really good.”
When Toni released her, Marissa was waiting. “So, Mr. Alden and his legal team have left. We explained that any further contact in any way—call, letter, email, package, in person by him or his representatives—would be considered harassment. It was a productive conversation.”
“So we’re all okay? My book event? My career? All of it?” Kaelee stared at her attorneys. “For real?”
“For real.” Marissa smiled, her face looking softer in the moment. “If he missteps, you have our information.”
She stepped away to talk to Greta, leaving Kaelee alone with Tasha who added, “We’ll be entering the paperwork for an order of protection.” After Kaelee nodded, Tasha paused. “She loves you, you know? Greta.”
“I do know.” Kaelee’s gaze drifted over to Greta and Marissa.
“I asked Risa to distract her for a minute.”
“Oh. Why w—”
“Consider today’s fees for the entire firm deeply discounted,” Tasha spoke over her. “The joy of seeing Tripp Alden sputter was a bonus payment.”
“So pro bono?”
Tasha laughed. “Oh, honey, no. Just discounted as thanks for my joy. I’m not the sort of woman whose services are ever fully free—even though I was going to just add my hours to Risa’s.”
Kaelee laughed in grudging respect. “If you weren’t Greta’s ex, I think I’d like you.”
“Treat her well, or I’ll see what I can do to amend the ex part of that.” Tasha pivoted and left with a sort of feline grace that Kaelee could admire.