Chapter 38 Kaelee
Kaelee
After returning from her tour dates, Kaelee filled out the university paperwork to take a term off.
There were two other classes she would need to take for an MFA, or she’d have to write her dissertation for the literature PhD.
She’d taken extra classes while she was thinking, so the question of what degree she had rightly earned was the one to figure out.
Was it better to call an end and have an MFA?
Was it more useful to be ABD (all but dissertation)?
Or should she finish the dissertation? Was there any use in that if she wasn’t going to teach?
Knowledge for knowledge’s sake still matters!
“Dr. Darbyshire entered the paperwork last month to be your advisor,” Suzanne, the woman at the English department main office, told her.
She was a sweet older woman, the sort that would make a great grandmother in media portrayals, but Kaelee had talked to her often enough to know that Suze did not suffer fools.
She was a transplant from somewhere deeper south than Kaelee’s home state of North Carolina.
“Wait. Toni did what?”
“Her department head allowed it,” the woman continued. “Dr. Darbyshire has the credentials to be your thesis advisor if you are doing the Master of Fine Arts. Do you not want her as your thesis advisor?”
“No. I mean, yes. Yes, I want Darbyshire, but she’s so busy.” Kaelee’s eyes widened in surprise that Toni just declared herself Kaelee’s advisor. “And she’s in the history department.”
“Dr. Harrison signed off on it. She’s really persuasive, and of course, she’s a successful commercial author as well as historian.” Suze paused and smiled wide enough that she looked a bit frightening. “Close your mouth, girl. You don’t want flies to get in or your remaining manners to get out.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Suze nodded approvingly. “You were her TA last term, so it’s not surprising.
She might as well get credit for mentoring you, since she obviously already is!
” Then her stern demeanor faded into something sweet.
“We’re all just so pleased by your successes, Ms. Carpenter.
I will say, though, that the scene in the forest with those girlies in your book.
Wow wee.” She fanned herself. “That kind of spice will make an old woman consider dating.”
“Right. Err, thank you.” Kaelee stared at the papers clutched in her hand. “I’m only taking the fall term off to think. I’m not deciding to withdraw from the program.”
“You’ve completed your classes and written not one but two novels,” the woman tutted. “If you wanted to finish your dissertation instead of the MFA…”
“Honestly, I can’t even think about what’s next.”
Suze reached out and patted her hand. “You’re young and have time to figure it out and then go ahead and change your plan several times. Life is long, Ms. Carpenter. Don’t rush through the exciting parts.”
Kaelee sighed. “I feel at home here. I think that’s the real issue. I have a master’s in history already, and in all practical ways, I now have everything I need for the MFA … but what I want is the feeling of fitting in here.”
“There’s no place in the world quite as comfortable as academia for some of us.” Suze smiled and then stood up. She stepped around the side of her desk. “You’re a good egg. If you want a hug, I often find that helps me.”
Kaelee bent to hug her. “You’re proving my point about the people here.”
There was a lightness to Kaelee’s mood when she returned to her apartment. She’d taken control of her life, and everything was working out. Her debut novel had hit the far end of both the New York Times and the USA Today bestseller lists. Everything had turned out better than her dreams.
… Which was why seeing her mother standing primly at the door of her apartment was unexpected.
“Kaelee.” Julia stared at her, not in disgust but in the way she once had when Kaelee came in from softball practice or riding lessons, as if seeking any injuries.
“Hi.” Kaelee stared at her. Age had added lines to her mother’s face, but she still looked wonderful.
She was too thin to be genuinely healthy, but there was a lightness to her that Kaelee didn’t recall ever seeing.
Her hair was tastefully dyed, and her clothes were impeccable designer fare.
Light makeup—eyes, foundation, and natural lip color—countered some of the years she’d added.
Small but expensive jewelry adorned her ears, throat, and fingers. Surprisingly, she wore a smartwatch.
“Could we speak?” Julia asked.
“Go ahead.” Kaelee folded her arms.
“Perhaps inside? Over tea?” Julia nodded toward the door. “I would appreciate sitting down. I’ve been here waiting for over an hour. Your schedule had you home—”
“My schedule?”
Julia had the grace to look abashed. “I had the PI get me a copy.” She offered a tight smile. “I bought the building, and that helped.”
“You bought … my apartment building?” Kaelee stared.
“Last month. My parents left me a discretionary fund, too, and I wanted to be sure your home was safe and in good repair.”
Mutely, Kaelee unlocked her door. She gestured her mother inside. “You’re my landlord?”
“Technically.” Julia walked over, rinsed and filled the teakettle, before looking at her. “Tea?”
“Sure.” Kaelee pulled out a few options.
They were silent as the teakettle heated.
Julia busied herself adding tea leaves and sugar to the cups. She added enough sugar that Kaylee winced.
Her mother gave her a sad smile as she poured water into the cups. “That’s changed, too? You used to like it this way.”
Kaelee sighed and accepted the overly sweet cup of steeping tea. She walked over to the table and pulled out a chair. “No, I didn’t. I accepted it. I accepted a lot of things that I won’t ever again.”
“Fair enough.” Julia joined her at the table. “I didn’t want you to be unhappy. I tried to do what mothers are to do, for you and your sister. It worked for Betsey.”
“Are you sure?”
Julia smiled. “I asked Betsey, after I found out about what happened to you … with Kyle … and the things he did.”
Kaelee swallowed. Talking to her mother about her trauma wasn’t on her list of things she ever wanted to do. So she redirected the conversation. “I’m glad Bets is okay. Does Tripp know you’re here?”
“He wasn’t always like this, you know?” Julia stared down at her tea.
“I think the man I married, the one my parents liked, would be appalled to see who he’s become.
At first, it was his affairs that hurt, then when I tried to stand up, he hit me and …
until now, I never thought about what message that gave my daughters. ”
“That doesn’t erase everything,” Kaelee said roughly. “You realizing it.”
“I am well aware, but I’m filing for divorce, and if he doesn’t drop his nonsense about you or your book or … well, he’ll have bigger problems than embarrassment over a book.”
“And Kyle?”
“I think it’s too late to press charges, but”—Julia met her gaze now—“I wasn’t born an Alden, but I’ve learned from him. I have enough dirt on Kyle and your daddy to—”
“I would rather you don’t call Tripp that,” Kaelee interjected.
“Fine. I have my PI, and he has files on both of them that I can use if I need to encourage their better angels to be front and center.” Julia sat there, ankles primly crossed, sipping her sugar-saturated tea and making threats.
For a moment, Kaelee admired her, truly admired her. “Are you safe? I have lawyers that are handling things on my side. They’re good.”
“I do, too. I’m filing for divorce, dear, and I want to take everything.
” Julia laughed. “No mercy. That’s the Alden way, and as I’m still an Alden…
” She shrugged. “His missteps with you will be useful to my divorce attorneys. I was going to use it to encourage him to improve his actions, but he authorized the assault of my child.”
“Oh.”
“I wasn’t the mother you deserved, but I want to try again.” Julia reached out to take Kaelee’s hand in hers.
“I don’t know,” Kaelee whispered. “I need to think.”
Julia nodded. “In the meantime, I’m going to join the leagues of middle-aged women who start over. You gave me the motivation to learn to be happy, and I hope you’ll allow me to find a place in your life. I want to get to know you, be the mom I should’ve been, if you’ll allow it.”
“I need time,” Kaelee stressed.
At that Julia stood, dumped her tea out, and washed her cup.
After drying her hands, she pulled a card out of her pocket and dropped it on the table.
“I hope I hear from you. I know I was a failure in many ways, and I don’t understand your choice to be with women but I’ll try to understand if you let me. ”
Kaelee stood and stared at her.
“I hope we can at least talk occasionally, but even if not, I’m going to put a stop to Tripp’s and Kyle’s behavior.” Then she walked to the door and let herself out.