Chapter 16
Still Indy
I twisted my new phone between my fingers. I needed something—anything—to do to keep my hands busy. My eyes darted at Dylan and a sense of dread swept over me at the dead expression in his eyes. I don’t know what he was thinking, but guaranteed it wasn’t anything good.
He sat up and leaned forward, resting his clasped hands between his knees. His head was bent as he stared at his hands like they held all the answers. I might’ve taken a quick peek to make sure. But no, they were still the same strong, capable, manly hands they’d always been.
Hands that, until a few seconds ago, had been caressing me. Touching me. All over me in that way I’d dreamt about.
Until I’d ruined it.
Finally, Dylan sighed deeply and looked up at me. “Who was it? Are you in trouble?”
“What? No. I’m not. I swear I’m not—at least not in any more trouble than you already know about. Am I making any sense? I feel like I’m babbling.”
“That’s because you are.” He cocked his head. “You’re also deflecting. You haven’t answered my question. Who called you just now, Indy?”
I groaned and tapped at my phone. “I can’t be sure, but I’m pretty sure that was my dad.”
“What? That’s why you didn’t want to change your number?” Dylan jumped up from the couch and crossed the room to grab my cell phone out of my hands.
But the only thing displayed on the recent calls was a generic number.
“I don’t get it. Why do you think this number is him? You don’t even have it saved as a contact.”
I sighed. “That’s because he’s in jail.”
“Oh.” Dylan handed my phone back to me. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have just grabbed it from you.”
I shook my head. “It’s okay. I know I haven’t been upfront about my whole situation with my dad.” I cleared my throat roughly. “He didn’t just up and disappear one night. Well, technically, he just never came home that night.”
“Come here.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me gently to the sofa and sat down next to me. “It’s probably past time we talked about this. What’s going on?”
I groaned and dropped my phone on the couch so I could scrub at my stinging eyes. “I never thought I’d tell you this part. I just…I just want you to know that I don’t blame you. Anymore. I know it’s not your fault. Everything he did was of his own free will.”
“Shit.” It was Dylan’s turn to scrub at his face. “Your dad is a West Coast King?”
“Yes,” I whispered tremulously.
“Which one?”
“What?”
“What’s his road name? I know it’s not T-Bone. He was already in jail when your gran died.”
“Ah, no. It’s—He’s…” I sighed. “The guys called him Blitz.”
Dylan blinked a few times then shook his head. “I seriously thought you were going to say Rags.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Blitz? I…don’t remember a Blitz.”
“Who’s Rags?” The knot of tension in my stomach hadn’t lessened any.
“He was blackmailing me. He had me on film apparently doing a drug run with my dad. But I didn’t know it at the time; I just thought I was giving him a ride.
Turned out we were delivering a ‘package’ and Rags filmed it.
Then when I wasn’t paying enough, he tried to run Maddie off the road in retaliation.
The cops ended up flipping him against the rest of the MC.
I’m pretty sure he’s in witness protection now. ”
“Rags turned on the guys? My dad was certain it was you,” I whispered to myself.
Although not quietly enough apparently, judging by the way Dylan’s head whipped around.
“What? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Tears welled in my eyes at the naked fury in Dylan’s tone. I’d known this was coming. Was so hoping I’d never have to have this conversation with him, and yet here we were.
“That’s why I was at your shop when we first met. They’d arrested my dad, and I was so mad. Mad at him. At the fucking universe.” My breath hitched. “And I was so pissed at you.”
“You blamed me for him going away?” he said numbly.
Tears ran unchecked down my cheeks. I opened my mouth, but only a sob left me.
“Why’d you even come home with me that night? Were you going to…I don’t even know how to end that. You blame me for what he did?”
“I don’t. I swear, I don’t. I just—I was just so mad. I thought you were a part of the whole thing and got off because you’re a rich asshole who can afford a good lawyer. That’s what my dad told me anyhow.”
“So that’s why you painted the mural. Because you blamed me.”
I swiped at the tears running down my face and nodded.
“I still don’t get why you’d come home with me. You could’ve stayed with Anne. She was offering her couch to you.”
I hitched a shoulder. “I thought I might as well get as much out of you as I could. You were rich, you could afford it.”
“Right,” he whispered.
“But I don’t feel that way now. It took all of a day for me to see who you really are. I swear I don’t blame you anymore. My dad’s the one who got caught up in the drug ring. He’s going to be doing time for his own actions.”
“Meanwhile I got off scot-free,” he murmured.
“I mean, it doesn’t sound that way to me. You were blackmailed. That doesn’t sound like someone who was a willing participant.”
He laughed darkly. “If you only knew…”
He couldn’t even look at me.
He kept staring at some spot on the opposite wall, and it was killing me.
I hated that I’d done this—blamed him for stuff he wasn’t responsible for.
No one made my dad run drugs or whatever he’d done for the Kings.
I still didn’t have all the details, but that was on him.
And I didn’t want this amazing man thinking I blamed him. He had to understand.
“I am sorry, Dylan. I lost my only parental figure that I can remember, my childhood home, my newly found father, and then his home in the span of like a year. It was a lot. And I didn’t really cope with it the best way.”
“Sounds to me you coped better than I did. You tagged one building. I imploded my entire family with my actions. And apparently a few others while I was at it.” He shook his head and pushed up from the couch like he had a million pounds on his shoulders.
“Because that’s what I do—I fuck up everything I touch. ”
“Dylan, it’s not—”
He waved a hand. “But it is. You just don’t realize it yet. I need some time to absorb this all. I… Don’t go anywhere, okay? Please? I’m not mad at you, I swear. This is all on me.”
I could only blink and then after a beat, I nodded my agreement.
And then I watched as Dylan slowly left the living room.
I felt like I’d changed everything between us just as we were starting to find our way to each other.
I should’ve told him sooner.
And I definitely shouldn’t have tried to answer that stupid phone call.
* * *
I wish it wasn’t true, but that moment changed things between Dylan and me. He’d pulled away. Suddenly he wasn’t around when I was getting ready for work. And Ryan was at the door offering me a ride to work.
I went from having Dylan with me most of my waking hours to not seeing him at all.
I knew he was still in the condo—dirty dishes showed up in the sink; I heard the front door closing at the most insane hours—but I hadn’t seen him in days.
And apparently, I wasn’t alone.
Late that Thursday night, someone knocked at the door. I almost didn’t answer it. I mean, it wasn’t my house so it probably wasn’t for me, right?
“Indy?” a feminine voice called. “Dylan?” Then knock, knock, knock.
So probably not a stranger since they knew my name.
I was still wary as I opened the door, my cell phone clutched in my left hand.
But it was only Maddie standing at the other side.
She gave me a little smile. “Hey. Do you have a minute?”
“Sure.” I shrugged and stepped back so she could enter. “Do you want something to drink or—” I gestured vaguely. I didn’t know what to offer. Or what she was doing here really since I hadn’t seen her since book club a few weeks back.
“No, I’m good. Thanks.” She walked over to the end chair and sat.
So not a short convo then. I followed after a beat and sat on the sofa opposite her.
“I’m sorry that I made things awkward at book club.
Sabrina had a little talk with me once I sobered up.
Things at work had gotten a little tense with my supervisor, and I vented to the girls before you got there.
Not that that’s an excuse. You’re new to our group and probably going to be sticking around, so I don’t want you to think that’s who I am.
I don’t exclude people. I swear. I’m so sorry. ”
“I, uh, thanks. I mean, you were fine. I hardly even noticed. And I’m not so sure about that sticking around thing.”
She cocked her head as her brow wrinkled with her frown. “What’s going on? I thought you and Dylan were a thing. That’s what Hope texted me anyhow. Said you two were really cute.”
I groaned and dropped my head. “Seriously? Why? How? How did she even know—”
Maddie’s eyes widened. “Know what?”
“You don’t know? Wait, what did she tell you?”
“Just that the two of you seemed chummy, and it was only a matter of time.” A little smirk curved her lips. “But it sounds like she doesn’t have the latest gossip. What’s going on? Are you two…”
“I wish,” I muttered before I even thought the words. Then I slapped a hand over my mouth like I could take the words back.
“So spill. What’s going on with you two?” Her eyes widened. “I mean, if you’re comfortable talking to me. I know we just met and all, but I hope you know we all love you and are rooting for you two. Me and Hope especially.”
“Clearly,” I muttered, slumping into my seat. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“When did it all change?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with interest.
Something about her kind eyes made me think of my gran. That loving, accepting expression combined with her mellow brown eyes almost made me feel like I was talking to her again. A pang of homesickness hit me again, and I swallowed against it.
Everything just felt turned upside down.
Sighing deeply, I filled her in on all the details of the dinner with Hope and then the fallout of my little confession.
Maddie frowned. “That explains a lot, actually. He hasn’t returned any of my calls the past couple of days.
But that’s not out of the norm. I mean, he’s gone AWOL before, but I also know the situation with the Kings hit him hard and now…
” She sighed. “He went AWOL a few months back when everything went down with the Kings, but once the DA declined to charge him and the feds went after bigger fish, he came back to us. Maybe he just needs some time?”
I winced. “It’s been a week. How much time is it going to take? Why won’t he just talk to me? I don’t blame him anymore. I really want him to know that.”
“He takes on the guilt and tries to fix it himself. That’s what Dylan does. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was trying to help your dad out. Get him a lawyer or, I don’t know, try to talk to the DA on his behalf. Do you know what he’s been charged with?”
I shrugged. “I think intent to distribute or whatever, so drugs. Last I heard he was being held at county jail, so I don’t think he’s got federal charges—yet.”
“Yet,” Maddie repeated. “I don’t really know anything about that, so I’m not much help there. But maybe there’s something we can do to help snap Dylan out of his funk. What to do, what to do…”
I shrugged. “I mean, I know he’s sleeping here, but he’s gone before I get up and avoids me at work. He even sat at the other end of the table during our all hands meeting Monday. He wouldn’t even look at me.”
“Because he’s so occupied with self-flagellation, he doesn’t even see that he’s hurting you too.
These Burns boys get so myopic it’s infuriating.
Remind me to tell you all my drama a few months ago with Nathan.
You want to talk about narrow-minded focus.
” She huffed in indignation at the memory. “But back to Dylan. Let me think.”
I gave her a half smile. Somehow in the few minutes she’d been here, I was already starting to see her as a friend. It was nice to have someone to lean on who wasn’t Dylan.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had a girlfriend in my life. Junior year in high school? Before everything changed, definitely. But even back then, my friendships had never felt like this—all focused and giving. Honest.
It was nice.
“I got it!” She snapped her fingers. “He won’t be able to run from you at Aunt Wendy’s house this weekend when we get together for Fliss’ birthday party. We’ll get you all gussied up, and you’ll corner him and make him listen to you…if you know what I mean.”
My cheeks heated. I knew exactly what she meant. “At his aunt’s house? Isn’t that kinda…skanky?”
“You two wouldn’t be the first.” She pursed her lips, and I’d bet her cheeks could’ve competed with mine as to whose were redder. “Nathan and I might’ve—”
“Seriously!” I squealed. “Oh my god, Maddie! Ha! I love it!”
“Nathan can be very persuasive. That’s all I’ll say. And you can too. I recommend cornering him in a bathroom. They all have locks on them. Just make sure it’s the one down the hall and away from the living room. You don’t want all of us listening in on your moment.”
“You can say that again.” That wasn’t a mental picture I wanted.
I’d spent enough time around the guys to be able to guess as to all the teasing we’d be inflicted with after that ordeal.
I groaned. “I don’t know, Maddie. This isn’t me.
I’m not a schemer. And if it were meant to be, don’t you think something would’ve happened by now? ”
“Something did happen. He said ‘fuck it’ and kissed you. Clearly he has been fighting his feelings. You just need to let him know it’s okay to fall, that you’ll catch him.”
That was so sweet. I had to blink a few times against the emotion building inside me. “And maybe we can come up with a plan b in case this doesn’t work?” I tipped my head. “It’s gonna be hella awkward around here if he turns me down.”
“He won’t.” A determined expression crossed her face. “Especially not once we’re done making him regret avoiding you this past week. And I think I have just the outfit to do it.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. Like a dress could really make that much of a difference. “Oh wait, Hope said something about setting me up with a glam squad before the party.”
“A glam squad? Really?” Maddie frowned then her eyes widened. “She wouldn’t…”
“What?”
Maddie shook her head as a huge grin spread across her face.
“Oh, this is going to be a spectacular weekend. I’ll come over and help you get ready.
And I’ll tell Dylan that you won’t be needing a ride.
I want him to be surprised by you there in all your glory.
And if it goes the way I’m thinking, you won’t even have to be the one to make the move. ”
I raised my eyebrows with my skepticism.
“Mark my words, Dylan Burns is going to eat his tongue.”