Chapter 21
Indy
The wedding had been magical. I’d laughed more than I could remember.
Twirling around the dance floor with all the Burns brothers had been a blast. Slow dancing with Dylan.
Eating cake with the girls. But my favorite memory was riding home on the back of Dylan’s motorcycle.
Feeling the wind whipping around us and his whole body pressed against my front, my arm wrapped around him…
It almost topped the first time we had sex.
Almost.
If anything, it was the best foreplay. By the time he pulled into his building’s parking lot, I was all but panting as I clutched his lean body in my arms. But Dylan had been oddly detached.
He gave me a vague smile as he helped me off the bike and held my hand to the door, but he clearly wasn’t feeling the same driving pull toward me that I felt for him.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as I watched him prowl from the living room to the kitchen and back.
“Yes. No. It’s all so fucked. I can’t, I don’t…” He sighed like he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.
A feeling of dread crawled down my spine. “Is it me? Do you regret us being together?”
“What? No. Never.” He rushed across the room and took me in his arms. His voice was muffled against my neck when he spoke again. “I don’t regret a single second we’ve spent together. I have and always will want you. Don’t forget that, Indy.”
I wrapped my arms around him gingerly, like I was afraid he would bolt at any moment. But I didn’t say anything. Honestly, I was afraid to believe him. His actions weren’t exactly matching his words.
He pulled back slightly but kept his arms around me. “Promise me that you won’t forget that. No matter what happens in the next few days, I…I want you to know how much you mean to me. How much I want you in my life now and always.”
That crawly feeling returned, but now I was worried about him. “What’s going on? Did you find out that the DA is pressing charges against you?”
“No. Nothing like that.” He sighed then let his arms fall and took a few steps away.
“I had a conversation with Aunt Wendy, and it’s making me rethink everything, honestly.
You know I did some fucked up shit against the family this last few years.
I burned a lot of bridges. And I guess I’m realizing some things can’t be fixed overnight. No matter how much I want them to be.”
I frowned at him, trying and failing to understand what exactly was going on. I knew he was sober—I checked before getting on the back of his bike. I might’ve been gone on this man, but I wasn’t a moron.
All my earlier arousal had fizzled out as I felt a bone-dragging exhaustion set in. It’d been a long day and I’d had several insane orgasms with him earlier. “It’s late. I bet it’ll all look better in the morning. Maybe we should head to bed.”
Dylan nodded and grabbed my hand. “Sleep in my bed? I promise no monkey business. I just want to hold you.”
And just like that, all my irritation over his erratic behavior melted away. He had the sweetest, tenderest expression, and he wanted to hold me? “Only if you promise to take off your shirt. Oooh! And wear those gray sweatpants of yours.”
He grinned down at me. “I can make that happen.”
Then his arm came around my shoulders as he led me to his bedroom.
I hadn’t spent much or any time in here really.
But it was kinda lackluster. A large bed with a white bedspread, a couple of pillows, and nightstands on either side of the bed.
One door no doubt led to the closet and that was it.
Even his nightstand didn’t give me any clues about him.
A phone charger and a battered copy of some motorcycle magazine.
“Need help with that zipper?”
I turned from my survey and gave him a slight smile. “Yes, please.”
Dylan’s hands on my back had me biting back a whimper. I guess all that arousal hadn’t disappeared after all.
Then he muttered something under his breath that suspiciously sounded like, “fucking mistake.”
And my blood ran cold.
What was a fucking mistake?
Me?
Inviting me into his bedroom?
Or not having more sex tonight?
I was afraid to ask.
The zipper ran cleanly down, and after a beat, Dylan pressed a soft kiss against my now naked back.
I looked at him over my shoulder. “You sure about that no monkey business vow? I wouldn’t be against playing around a little more.”
So much emotion burned behind Dylan’s eyes. I didn’t know how to label any of it. Angst. Regret? Pain. So much pain.
Finally he shook his head. “I’m beat, sweetheart. I don’t want to give you less than my best, and I’m definitely not capable of that tonight. Or this morning, I guess.”
What guy in his twenties turns down sex with an almost naked and willing woman in his apartment? Only steps from his bed?
That sense of dread returned.
Something wasn’t right.
Something huge was going down, and Dylan was hiding it from me.
Clutching my sagging dress to my chest, I turned around. “What’s going on Dylan? I know something’s not right. I know you’re hiding something from me. Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
He opened then closed his mouth as a chagrined expression stole across his face.
Finally he shook his head. “I have a few things I need to think through. I had a pretty deep conversation with Aunt Wendy, and there are some things I need to sort out. But I can promise you that you haven’t done anything. This is all on me, okay?”
I nodded, but I didn’t really understand anything he said. It was bizarre double speak that seemed to say a lot but didn’t actually tell me anything.
“I want you in here with me tonight. But you don’t have to be. If you’d rather sleep in your room, that’s fine too. But I want you to know that I want you—always.”
Again, it felt like he was trying to tell me something. Like we were breaking up. But then why would he want me to sleep in his bed?
Although he also only wanted to sleep, so there was that too.
My head was starting to ache with all my conflicting thoughts and twisted feelings.
Maybe I would be better off sleeping alone.
I turned to say as much to Dylan, but the naked loneliness and need in his expression had me rethinking myself.
“I’ll sleep here tonight. With you. But I’m going to need more information tomorrow. You’ve got this double speak thing going on that’s making my head spin.”
He gave a little half grin. “You sure that’s not the champagne?”
“I only had one glass. And then ate a bunch of cake.”
He tipped his head. “You are only nineteen. I thought maybe it’d gone to your head.”
“Is that why you don’t want to…” I nodded at the bed.
He sighed. “Let’s get ready for bed.”
My head was still a riot of confusion as I pulled on the large t-shirt he offered me. And it didn’t help that he left the room to “brush his teeth” before I even let my dress fall to the floor. Like he didn’t want to see me naked.
My heart felt heavy when I climbed into his bed. I didn’t care about my hair or my full face of makeup. I just wanted to go to sleep and get to tomorrow already.
Maybe it’d come with some much needed clarity.
I closed my eyes and feigned sleep when I heard Dylan return to the room.
The sheets rustled as he climbed into bed. And then he was wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against his very naked chest. My eyes burned with tears that I refused to let fall.
At least he kept his promise. But I was no longer interested in trying to seduce him. I was doing everything I could to just keep it together.
It was a long time before I fell asleep.
* * *
The next morning, I woke up to an empty bed. Dylan was long gone, judging by the cool sheets next to me. My heart felt heavy when I spotted the crumpled paper on his pillow. I almost didn’t want to read it. If he had to write it, it definitely wasn’t going to be good.
But I also couldn’t not read it.
My heart pounding in my ears, I picked up the paper.
Indy,
Have a few things I need to sort out. Ryan will take you in to work.
Love you,
Dylan
Now my heart pounded in my ears for a whole new reason.
He loved me?
And thought the best way to tell me was to write it in a letter?
Or was it habit? Did he even realize what he wrote? What it meant to me?
I wanted to call him and ask, but this wasn’t the kind of thing for a phone call or text. I needed to see his face.
Ugh.
Men!
I was feeling everything as I got ready for work. Happy, anxious, afraid, excited. My stomach was a ball of nerves, so I couldn’t eat anything. I was barely able to choke down a cup of coffee.
I just wanted to see Dylan. Look into his eyes and know that everything was going to be okay. That we were going to be okay.
Ryan kept sending me weird looks as he drove us to work in his Jeep Grand Cherokee. After the fifth one, I finally lost it.
“What?” The word popped out of my mouth before I realized, sounding all aggressive and annoyed. Mostly because I was.
“Um, what do you mean?” His eyes were suddenly fixed forward and his words were cautious. Like I was the crazy one here.
I was starting to feel like that was true. “You keep giving me weird looks. What is going on?”
“I…don’t know what you’re talking about. This is my normal face.” He checked his mirrors and merged into the left lane then muttered under his breath, “not a morning person I guess.”
Like I was a crazy person.
I wasn’t.
Was I?
Shit. Maybe I was.
I muffled a groan and buried my face in my hands. I just wanted to see Dylan and know everything was going to be okay between us.
Yeah, I was the crazy one here.
“Sorry. This weekend was a lot. I just need to talk to Dylan.”
Ryan nodded but didn’t say anything.
I sighed and sat back in my seat and let Metallica serenade us the rest of the drive to work.
But when we arrived, Dylan was nowhere to be found. The paint shed was still locked, and the lobby was empty. I walked down the hall to Austin’s office and the meeting room, but both were empty too.
Weird.
I sat behind my desk and sorted out a few things then just sat there, twiddling my thumbs.
Where was he?
I got out my phone and checked, but I wasn’t missing any messages from him.
The knot in my stomach grew.
So when the front door chimed, and Dylan came walking in, I pounced.
“Good morni—” was all he got out before I grabbed him and kissed him. But he didn’t seem to mind. His arms wrapped around me as he kissed me back all minty fresh and delicious.
I was vaguely aware of the sound of the door chiming again, but I didn’t really realize what it meant. This was important.
But Dylan pushed against my shoulders and broke our kiss. “We probably shouldn’t be doing this at work.”
Work. Right. My face flushed as I turned to whichever Burns brother had interrupted us but found a camera in my face instead of the grumpy Austin I’d been expecting. “Shit.”
Dylan scowled at the camera, moving his body between me and them.
Shit.
James grinned like a shark sensing blood in the water—all teeth and naked malice. Standing just behind the cameraman, he smirked. “Since we have the both of you, we need to talk about a few things.”
“How about we wait until everyone’s settled in and had a coffee?” Dylan raised a hand. “That’s not a lot to ask for. We’re not even mic-ed up yet.”
“It can’t wait. And Liam is on sound.” James tipped his head at the boom microphone they sometimes used.
Shit. This wasn’t good. I could feel it in my gut. But before I could say anything to divert the crew, James dropped his bombshell.
“Indy, I’m afraid your father was stabbed last night in county jail.”
“Shit.” Dylan’s arms tightened around me.
But James wasn’t finished.
“By your dad, Dylan.”