27 Grip
Grip
“Let’s go home for dinner,” I suggested to Vike.
Seein’ the way Vike’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas, I wanted to take credit for the idea. Only I couldn’t. The damn Prospect had texted me and, in a really fucking weird way, suggested we come home and eat with “our woman.” Maybe I just wouldn’t say that part and leave it at that.
It damn near killed me seein’ Vike look so hopeful at the simplest of ideas.
Had he been staying at the clubhouse because I had?
Now that I thought about it, he’d only made the ride home one time since I’d moved Ivy in, and that was because I told him I was going to check on her.
And he’d stayed there as long as I had. Which hadn’t been long.
Alright, so maybe it was my fault he hadn’t been around her much.
He was probably lookin’ to me for the next move, and well, I was damn clueless.
If I was being honest, I could admit that I’d dumped Ivy at the house and left her there. It was shitty of me, I was well fuckin’ aware of it. But could I change it now? No, because I couldn’t go back in time. My head had been a mess. It was still a mess, but I was tryin’ to push through it.
Look, it wasn’t like I knew the first thing about havin’ an ol’ lady.
I didn’t even know the first thing about having a girlfriend, alright?
The only kind of long-term relationship I’d had was with Vike, and I didn’t think that counted in this sense.
Besides, we’d had a fucked up life, which meant we were fucked up.
I didn’t think that would help us in any way when it came to having a…
somewhat healthy, lasting relationship with a woman.
“Come on. Let’s go,” I said, turning and heading for where our bikes were parked in the lot out back. “We can stay the night.”
It was like I felt the air change. I didn’t have to turn around and look at him to know he was pretty fuckin’ happy.
The ride home didn’t take long, thank fuck.
It was hot, and I wasn’t tryin’ to deal with sweaty, chaffed balls.
Taking the road up to the house felt strange.
Maybe it was because the house sat up on a little hill, and ridin’ to it felt like I was tryin’ my damnedest to make it to something important, but it was forever out of reach.
Or it coulda been that my life had been turned upside down and I was still trying to figure out if it was a good thing or not.
I was pretty sure it was, I just didn’t really know how to handle it.
I walked into the house and killed the alarm. The sound of my boots pounding on the hardwood floors echoed heavily, making me realize for the first time that the place was… kinda empty.
“Go on, get,” I told the Prospect as I jerked my head toward the door. “We got it. Go have a night off or somethin’.”
The Prospect snorted and shook his head. He shot me a look sayin’ he knew as soon as he made it back to the clubhouse, he’d be put on something else. For his sake, I hoped it wasn’t cleaning the toilets. Kid deserved a break.
“Yep,” he said, taking one last look at Ivy before shooting out the door. His bike rumbled to life a minute later, then he was gone.
And it was just the three of us alone in the house.
Vike damn near ignored me as he headed into the kitchen, where I could see Ivy standing at the stove.
“Oh, hey,” Ivy said as she looked over her shoulder. The shock on her face was clearly fake, but in a sweet way. I had a feelin’ this was all her doing. Bet she had that Prospect wrapped around her finger the way she did us.
Yeah, fuck. It was time to admit it. The woman… our woman, could have us eating out of the palm of her hand if she wanted. Hell, she could probably get Vike to kneel down and kiss her feet.
Viking went right up to her. She abandoned stirring whatever she had on the stove to turn and give him her full attention.
“Missed you,” Viking said, shocking the fuck outta me. I stared at him, unblinking, as he swept Ivy up in a hug so easily. The smile on her face was so damn bright.
“I missed you too,” she told him back, kissing the scarred side of his cheek like it was something she did . You know? Like this was normal for them.
It was…
Domestic.
And fuckin’ weird.
“Missed you, too, Grip,” Ivy called out, seeing me standing there like a dumbass. Had I been waiting for that? I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t mind the little flutter in my chest at hearing it and seeing her smile aimed at me.
“Yeah, me too,” I grunted. Hey, I was tryin’ here. I cleared my throat. “Missed you, yeah.”
Ivy’s laugh was light. I kinda loved that she didn’t call me out for whatever that was.
“You better be ready for a gourmet meal,” Ivy said, turning her attention back to the stove.
I hoped to hell she was joking because we weren’t gourmet meal kinda men.
And she was, thank fuck. Which I found out a minute later when I decided to stop being a standoffish dumbass and stepped into the kitchen and saw those yellow and blue boxes.
Then the smell hit me. That powdered cheese, oh man, there was nothin’ else like it in the world.
Had no clue how it smelled like a powder when it was in the package and even after it was mixed with butter and milk.
Or water if you were scraping by, and we knew a thing or two about that from the group home.
I didn’t know whether to be thrilled or angry. I checked on Vike, carefully reading his expression as it hit him what she’d made. His brow pinched, and his lips went thin.
Fuck.
“Something wrong?” she asked as she reached for the plates sitting off to the side. She chewed on her lip like she was suddenly nervous.
“Takes us back. Doesn’t it, Vike?” I said, tryin’ my damnedest to lighten the mood.
“In a bad way, I take it,” she said, still looking concerned as she kept her eyes on Vike.
Shit. It was up to me to turn this around. I walked up on her other side and grabbed a plate, holding it next to the pot. She blinked, then started spooning the unnaturally yellow mac and cheese onto the plate.
“Don’t stop,” I said, urging her to give me another spoonful with a cocky smile. I grabbed another plate with my free hand and waited while she filled it up, too. “Vike and I ate this a lot when we were growing up.”
My tone was light, however, the subject was anything but. It shoulda said something that I was opening up to Ivy like this. I hoped she knew how much it meant.
“Oh yeah?” she asked as if urging me to go on.
“Yeah,” I took the plates over to the table, suddenly realizing that this was the first time we’d actually used the table for eating.
I rushed back over to take the last plate, which held a smaller helping.
“See, I met Vike a week after my twelfth birthday. My mom had just gotten arrested for prostitution for the umpteenth time, only that time she was found in a motel room with a dead body. So basically she was goin’ away for a long time.
And my dad was nonexistent in my life. So, into the system I went.
This was back in Tennessee, and well, I guess shit isn’t really good anywhere.
But we were in backwoods territory, and so, it was worse. ”
“Oh.” Her tone was a little sad. I tried to shrug it off. Shit sucked, but I wouldn’t wish for a different life because then I wouldn’t have Vike.
“Got tossed into this foster home where there was like,” I turned to Vike, “what, fourteen other boys?”
He grunted, bringing over forks and taking a seat at the table.
“Three sets of bunk beds in each room. One bathroom for all of us to share. It was a real party,” I went on, trying to keep it as light as possible.
“I was small as a kid. Hard to imagine, right?” I tossed a wink in Ivy’s direction.
“Vike was, well, fucker has always been huge as far as I know. He was a year younger than me and about two heads taller.”
“You were tiny,” Viking added. Thank fuck he seemed to shake himself out of it. Didn’t need him going into that headspace. He’d be pissed if he messed up tonight.
I snorted. Ivy smiled at the two of us.
I let my lids fall closed when I took my first bite. Shit was just as amazing as I remembered it.
“My first night, one of the kids hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat while I was tryin’ to sleep.
And since I hadn’t been able to get into the bathroom before lights out, I ended up pissin’ all over the bed,” I told her.
Quite possibly one of the most embarrassing stories I had.
I’d never told it to anyone before. Which was probably why Viking was sitting across from me lookin’ at me as if aliens had come down and done a body swap.
“Well, let’s just say that not only did all the kids in the place laugh at me, but I also got punished for pissin’ the bed. ”
“I’m sorry,” Ivy said, sounding sincere.”
“The next morning, as I’m eating my dry toast and half a scrambled egg, that boy…” I looked over at Vike. “Fuck, I can’t even remember his name.”
“Darnell,” Vike supplied before shoveling more food into his mouth.
“Yeah, that’s right. Fucker.” I turned back to Ivy. “Anyway, Darnell walked in with not one, but two black eyes, and his hair was chopped all to hell. Like someone had just taken a pocket knife to it.”
“No,” Ivy gasped in shock and slight amusement, her eyes sliding from me to Vike, and you know what, that fucker was grinning proudly under all that facial hair. “That’s amazing.”
I laughed.
“The two of us have been thick as thieves ever since,” I told her. “So when I ended up getting kicked out of that foster home and moved to a group home—which was way worse, mind you—it really shouldn’t have surprised anyone when Vike got kicked out too and landed in the bed next to me.”
“That shouldn’t be sweet, but it kind of is,” she said with a soft smile.
“Sometimes life sucks, but it’s what you make of it that matters,” Vike said, head down and eyes on the last bite of mac and cheese in the middle of his plate. Then he scooped it up and shoved it into his mouth. The chair legs scraped against the floor as he stood. “More?” he asked us.
“I’m good, thanks,” Ivy replied.
“Hell yeah,” I said, handing him my plate.
He walked into the kitchen, and it was like he’d never even said that shit. That was just Vike.
“Anyway,” I said, resuming my story. “Wasn’t so bad there, I guess. Though we did get into a lot of fights.”
“ You started a lot of fights,” Vike cut in with a pointed look and a raised brow and he handed my plate over and took his seat once again.
“And you got me out of them,” I said with a cocky smile.
I owed him a lot. I was an angry kid, probably lookin’ for death in my own unknowing way.
Viking must have seen somethin’ in me. That was the only reason I could come up with why he kept protecting my ass.
It got worse right after I aged out, but those weren’t stories for a time like this.
Sometimes, I let my mind wonder about what it would have been like if he hadn’t run away from the group home and followed me.
Might have been better for him, but I was a selfish fucker, and couldn’t have been more glad I’d had him.
“A lot of what we ate was donated shit,” I told Ivy, bringing it back around.
This was the whole point of the story. “And for some reason, people thought kids wanted or needed to eat boxed mac and cheese. There would be times we’d have it for three, sometimes four, days in a row.
They tried to shake it up by putting ham chunks in it or peas, but it was still the same shit. ”
“Should I never make it again?” Ivy asked, a slight smile on her face.
“Nah, little lamb,” I told her, smiling back at her. “Make it to your heart’s content. This shit is awesome. Vike and I aren’t exactly worldly, it don’t take much to satisfy us.”
“You don’t say,” she teased, and there went my damn heart. Vike barked out a laugh, shocking the shit outta both of us.
“Sorry,” he said.
The smile Ivy was sending him was so sweet it gave me a damn toothache.
But… I didn’t hate it. Vike deserved someone lookin’ at him like that.
He deserved to be seen, to have someone care for him…
other than me. Also, Ivy had this softness about her that I’d never have.
Maybe it was just the thing we both needed.
“I’m a terrible cook,” Ivy said, looking a little sorry about it. “I kind of had to learn things on my own, and we didn’t exactly have a lot, you know. So I learned to make things that came with directions on the packaging.”
“Sounds perfect to me,” I said, shooting her a smile. “Any maybe when… uh, when shit settles down, we can take you out sometimes. You ain’t gotta be cookin’ for us all the time.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Alright,” I said, then looked at Vike.
I wasn’t sure where to go from here, but I knew this wasn’t a one-time thing.
Because all I kept thinkin’ is how I wanted more moments like this.
Was I in love?
Maybe. It wasn’t like I really knew what the fuck that looked like. Or, hell, what it felt like. But I’d be a one stupid motherfucker if I didn’t at least realize there was somethin’ big goin’ on here.
Ivy was truly ours. Not just because I didn’t want anyone to have her right now.
Not just because the thought of my brothers gettin’ their hands on her did somethin’ funny inside me.
Nah, it didn’t have anything to do with me beating my chest and layin’ claim—okay, maybe it had a little to do with that.
Mostly, it was because I finally opened my eyes and saw the good thing life was tryin’ to hand us.
She fit with me. She fit with Viking. I knew in my gut that things would only get better from here on out, as long as I didn’t push it away.
Viking and I shared a look. Yeah, somethin’ was going on in his head, too. Somehow, I just knew his thoughts weren’t as confident as mine.
Well, I figured it was up to me to help him see the light. Time for a plan.