Chapter 20 Xavier #2
I pulled out my phone for the first time in days, ignoring the flutter of anxiety in my chest as the screen lit up. Seventeen unread messages. I scrolled through them quickly, my heart doing that annoying thing where it both hoped for and dreaded seeing Marcus’s name.
Most were from vendors confirming details. A few from Lucas that I’d already addressed via email. And then, buried among the professional messages, were five from Marcus.
My finger hovered over his name. I shouldn’t read them. Reading them would only make this harder, would only remind me of how good things had been before he’d decided I was a criminal.
But I’d never been good at doing what I should do.
I tapped on his name, and the messages loaded.
Marcus: I’m sorry. I know that’s not enough but I need you to know I’m sorry.
Marcus: Lucas told me what an idiot I am. He’s right.
Marcus: Dolly found her keys. You did return them. I should have trusted you.
Marcus: I don’t expect you to forgive me but I need you to know that this is on me, not you. You didn’t do anything wrong.
Marcus: I miss you.
The last three messages had been sent just this morning, but the last one caught my attention the most. I stared at those three words until they blurred. I miss you. Such simple words, but they hit me right in the chest, making it hard to breathe.
I locked my phone and shoved it back in my pocket, refusing to let myself respond. He’d hurt me. He’d believed the worst about me at the first opportunity. That wasn’t something that could be fixed with a few apologetic text messages.
Even if part of me desperately wanted to believe it could be.
“Here you go,” Dolly said, setting the milkshake in front of me. The glass was frosted, topped with whipped cream and a cherry. “Food’ll be up in a few minutes.”
“Thanks,” I managed, wrapping my hands around the cold glass, grateful for something to focus on that wasn’t my phone or the swirling mess of emotions in my chest.
Lucas slid into the seat beside me at the bar, leaving Beau in the booth. “You okay?” he asked quietly.
“Define okay,” I muttered, taking a long sip of the milkshake. The sweetness hit my tongue, and I had to admit it was exactly what I needed.
“Did you read his messages?”
Of course Lucas knew Marcus had been texting me. My best friend was far too perceptive for his own good. “Yeah.”
“And?”
“And nothing,” I said, though even I could hear how unconvincing I sounded. “He apologized. Great. Doesn’t change what happened.”
Lucas was quiet for a moment, and I could feel him studying me. “You know, when Beau and I first got together, I was terrified. Not because I was worried about liking him, but because I was lying to him.”
I turned to look at him, confused by the sudden shift in conversation. “Lying to him?”
“I came to Sagebrush to steal his recipes for my company. And I almost did.” He shook his head. “When I finally admitted what I’d done, I thought Beau would never forgive me. And I figured I deserved his anger and mistrust for what I’d done.”
I took another sip of my milkshake, not sure where he was going with this. “What’s your point?”
“My point is that people make mistakes. Even good people. Especially when they’re scared.
” Lucas turned on his stool to face me fully.
“Marcus was scared, Xavier. Scared of what it meant that he was falling for you. Scared of losing his job, his reputation, everything he’s built his life around.
So, when someone handed him evidence that you might be the thief, some part of him probably wanted to believe it.
Because if you were a criminal, then he had an excuse to push you away before things got too serious. ”
I wanted to argue, wanted to tell him he was wrong. But hadn’t I thought the same thing when Marcus had showed up at my cabin? That he was looking for a reason to sabotage what we had?
“That doesn’t make it okay,” I said quietly.
“No, it doesn’t,” Lucas agreed. “But Beau forgave me when I didn’t deserve it.
He gave me a second chance, and it changed my entire life.
I’m not saying you have to forgive Marcus right now, or even at all.
But maybe consider that he’s human. And humans fuck up, especially when their hearts are involved. ”
I stared down at my milkshake, watching the whipped cream slowly melt into the pink liquid.
My chest felt tight, emotions warring inside me.
Anger at Marcus for not trusting me. Hurt that he’d believed the worst. But underneath all of that was the memory of how safe I’d felt in his arms, how he’d looked at me like I mattered. How much I missed him back.
“Food’s up!” Dolly called from the kitchen window, breaking the moment.
Lucas squeezed my shoulder once before heading back to the booth with Beau. I stayed at the bar, staring at the plate of food in front of me. My appetite had vanished somewhere between reading Marcus’s texts and Lucas’s story about betraying Beau.
“Dolly,” I said, pushing the plate away. “This looks great, but I need to go. There’s… There’s something I need to do.”
She gave me a warm, understanding smile. “You go on then, sugar,” she said. “Go get him.”