Chapter 14 Zach
FOURTEEN
ZACH
Mild or not, Dare’s pneumonia knocked him out for the rest of the week. A fact that frustrated him but try as he might I wouldn’t let him go out in his state to tend to his crops.
“If you don’t look after yourself then there will be no one to look after the crops. I’m sure that’s not what you want,” I kept telling him, though I wasn’t so sure he agreed with my sentiment.
Why are all grown men boneheaded?
So many of the men I’d known, met, or been with in my life were just…stubborn. They didn’t give a rat’s ass about their health, physical or mental, and always needed an extra hard kick in the behind to get them interested in their survival.
One would think gay guys would be immune to the toxic masculinity that made us think that kind of self-care wasn’t important, but apparently a lot of us didn’t get the memo.
Because let’s be honest. If the same thing were to happen to me I’d be acting the same way. I’d be eager to get back to my truck and serve my loyal customers, or I could wave goodbye to the money I needed to pay my rent, business loan and pretty much any other bill in my life.
“As if it matters,” I mumbled.
Here I was, away from my home, without a business, or anything to do all day, losing money by the hour without a clue what I was doing or where I was going anymore.
And since there was nothing else to take out my frustration on, I punched. I punched the dough on the counter again and again until it deflated and was ready for the bread tin.
I popped it in the pre-heated oven and got started on a pumpkin spiced carrot cake and cheesecake muffins.
But after those were done, that was it. No more cakes.
I pinky promised to myself and the animals.
To the goats who were circling my legs causing a trip hazard every time I turned, and to Lookah who was supervising us all from his bed in the kitchen.
I’d gotten good at controlling myself. I had to.
There was only so much crap I could send away to people before I depleted all of Dare’s pantry and money.
Thankfully while he’d been on bedrest these last few days, I’d managed to fill up the cupboards and the fridge using my own funds, even if I’d had to ask Warren to do the shopping for us.
It was hard to believe it had been two weeks since Dare took me in. Two weeks! And yet it still felt like a dream. A wonderful, beautiful dream, but a never-ending one too.
I felt stagnant here. Like I’d hit the pause button in my life while everyone else’s still continued as normal. Any day now I knew I’d wake up and find out it was all nothing but a mirage. Something my mind had created to keep me safe from the shitshow that was my life.
“Get a grip, Zach,” I muttered under my breath.
I knew I was being ungrateful. I knew it was wrong to think like that, especially when Dare was the sweetest, kindest man alive who’d let me into his house and allowed me all the liberties.
But even that was choking me. Being around him, with him, breathing the same air as him and not being able to do anything about it.
It was torture. Sweet torture maybe, but torture no less.
I stood over the bowls on the kitchen island with my eyes shut and my hands gripping at the edge of the counter while I steadied and grounded myself.
It will be fine. It will all be fine. Soon things will be fine.
I repeated my silly mantra over and over again in my head hoping one day I’d wake up and believe it.
Today was not that day, but it didn’t mean I’d stop trying.
As I distributed the batter into molds a sharp knock made me jump. My gaze darted toward the front door, dread washing me all over in an instant.
Before I could respond—or breathe again—there was another knock. It sounded even rougher than the first and made my feet sink into the floor. Lookah jumped up and lunged at the door, barking his head off. The goats bleated in sheer panic.
He’d found me. Victor had found me.
I knew the day would come but I had hoped it wouldn’t be here. Not at Dare’s. Not in his home. Preferably nowhere near this island that had been my home for the past year, but at the very least not here.
My heart pumped so hard, I felt light-headed. I chewed the inside of my lips, my cheeks, my tongue. Anything to keep the all-consuming fear at bay.
“Dare?” someone shouted from the other side of the door and knocked again.
It sounded nothing like Victor, but even so, it took a moment before relief gave way and I could function again.
I stumbled to the door, trying my darndest to steady myself and checked the eye hole before I opened the door.
Six feet three of muscle and testosterone stared back at me and I put on my best smile. It wasn’t reciprocated.
“Wyatt!” I said.
“Zach,” he answered and gestured inside, asking for permission to come in.
I stepped aside in response and let Lookah greet Wyatt like the enthusiastic dog he was.
“You’re still here,” he said and I took half a step back.
That was an odd thing to say.
“Yeah. Dare won’t let me go,” I said with my best customer service face on.
It usually worked on people. It had worked on Wyatt whenever he stopped by my bakery truck, but for some reason it wasn’t working now.
“I heard he’s not been feeling well,” he said.
I pressed my lips together and closed the front door.
“No. Poor thing got himself pneumonia, but he’s on the mend.”
Wyatt walked a little further in, nodding, and I followed him.
“Good. Good,” he mumbled.
“D-do you want to see him? I can check if he’s awake,” I said and he let me get all the way to Dare’s bedroom door before he spoke.
“Uh, it’s okay. No need to bother him.”
I pulled away from the door handle and came back to the living room.
“Would you like some coffee? Or muffins? Or both?”
Wyatt glanced at the counter and shook his head.
“Looks like they’re not ready yet,” he said.
I laughed.
“Ah, no, this is today’s batch. I’ve got a couple of cheesecake muffins leftover from yesterday. Dare likes them so I thought I’d make them again today.”
His face hardened even more as if I’d insulted him in some way and my temples throbbed from working overtime trying to figure out what the hell I was doing wrong.
“So he’s doing all right, then?” he asked, his gaze turned to the hallway.
He looked as if he wanted to go in and see Dare but something was stopping him.
It certainly wasn’t me.
“Yeah, he felt better when he woke up this morning and he was up and active last night so I’m sure he’ll be back to his normal self in a couple of days.”
“Good. Good. I’m…glad.” Wyatt nodded. “I…uhm…I should go. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
He spun around and made to leave, and I was stumped on why he was being so unlike himself. He was always somewhat of a grump, a man of a few words, but this was so unlike him.
“Have you got anything on him?” I asked before he could escape.
He stopped and turned his head to look at me with his peripheral vision.
“What do you mean?” he grumbled.
“On…on my ex. Any news? Have-have you found him yet?”
Wyatt seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and then faced me.
“Nothing yet. Autumn has been asking around and people have seen him, but none of my guys have been able to locate him.”
“That’s weird,” I sighed.
“Not so weird. If he’s got friends on the island, it doesn’t surprise me that he’s turned into a ghost.”
“Friends? You think he has friends?”
Wyatt cocked his head.
“Dare didn’t tell you?” I shook my head. “There’s a…there’s a criminal organization on this island. They’ve got their fingers dipped in all the pies you can think of. Drugs, money-laundering, racketeering.”
“You think he’s friends with them?”
Fuck. What have I got myself into?
“Dare saw him get away in a van with other men. It wouldn’t surprise me if they’re friends. You said you’re from New York, right?”
“Yeah. Manhattan,” I said.
“So is Salieri, the guy behind all of this. Maybe they know each other from New York.”
“Shit. What…how…I don’t know where to start. I’ve got so many questions,” I sighed and dropped on the couch behind me.
It was then that Wyatt’s expression softened.
“That’s understandable,” he said.
“I just…I don’t understand what that has to do with me.”
Wyatt stared at me for a while before he spoke.
“You want my opinion?”
I nodded.
“Nothing. I don’t think you have anything to do with it. I think this is a massive case of fucked up bad luck. Maybe he came to the island to deal with Salieri, maybe he found you and Salieri happened to be here. We don’t know. I don’t think we can ever know that.”
My head dropped. As did my confidence.
“That…that sucks,” I said.
Wyatt put his hands in his pocket, and I heard him take a breath.
“We’ve dealt with a lot over the past year or so. We’ll deal with this too,” he said.
“How? I can’t sit around waiting forever to get my life back. How can you deal with this?”
“We’ll find him. And when we do, we’ll know what to do with him.”
“I don’t understand what that means,” I said.
And I didn’t. What did dealing with Victor look like?
“Will you do me a favor?” I asked.
Wyatt nodded with some hesitation.
“Will you keep me updated? I think Dare keeps things from me. I think he thinks I can’t handle the truth. But I need to know either way.”
“Either way?” Wyatt asked.
“Whatever happens with Victor, I need to know. I need to be prepared if I need to.”
Wyatt huffed and glared at me with his big, bright blue eyes. “You don’t need to run.”
I bit my tongue and nodded.
He didn’t understand. No one ever would. What it was like living in constant fear. Looking behind your shoulder at every turn. What it was like not knowing if you would ever be safe again. Not being able to put down roots.
“Still, can you keep me updated anyway,” I said and his response was a deep, defeated sigh. “Hang on. I’ll go get my phone.”
I walked back to the hallway and carefully entered Dare’s bedroom. He was asleep. He looked so at peace, so adorable, so damn sexy when he was asleep.
I’d spent many mornings lying in bed, watching him sleep. Which wasn’t great for my addiction to him, but it was nothing I could resist.
It was hard to resist watching him now. It was hard to believe this was happening. Any of it. Sharing a bed with him and not being able to hold him, to kiss him, to love him?
Focus, Zach.
I sighed and grabbed my phone from my side of the bed before rejoining Wyatt.
“What were you doing there? Is he awake?” he asked when I returned and I gave him my phone so he could type in his number.
“No. Still asleep, but I needed to get my phone.”
His expression hardened again and he stopped typing.
“Your phone was in his room?”
I grimaced realizing I’d have to explain the ridiculousness of the situation.
“Yeah. We’ve been sharing the room. The heating is busted in the guest room and he insisted so…I know it’s weird.”
Wyatt sucked in his cheeks, finished typing his number and handed me my phone back.
“I see,” he said. “There. Got to go. Bye.”
Before I could greet him back or offer him something for the road he was out the door, slamming it shut and making me jump.
“The fuck?” I said and Lookah turned to me with an equally perturbed look.
Why was Wyatt being so weird? Every time I mentioned Dare, he got standoffish. Why did he care if I shared Dare’s bed with him? Did he think we were sleeping together? And what if we did? Why would he…
I gasped.
Was there something going on between Dare and Wyatt?
Nah. Wyatt wasn’t gay, was he?
It would certainly explain the erratic behavior but…surely he wasn’t. Hadn’t Dare said he’d been a commander in the Navy SEALs?
Not that commanders can’t be gay, but…Jesus H. Christ.
“I think Wyatt has the hots for Dare. What do you think, Lookah?”
The dog cocked his head at the mention of his name, and I barely held back a laugh. Out of all things on my bingo card for this year, Wyatt being queer was definitely not one of them.
Then again, I didn’t expect Dare to be queer either, but…
My thought was interrupted by a double beep and a buzzing sensation in my hand.
I looked down at my notifications fully expecting it to be Wyatt calling me back or something, but it wasn’t.
It was him.
Again.
As if he knew I’d been talking about him.
Chills ran down my spine as I read the message.
Unknown number: I’m getting tired baby I miss you stop hiding from me
My stomach cramped and the light was suddenly too bright in here. I drew the curtains closed, turned the lights off and ran. Ran to bed, next to Dare where I could feel safe, even if only for a moment.