Chapter 36 Zach
THIRTY-SIX
ZACH
It was weird, being back in my apartment, after everything that had happened. All that time I'd stayed at Dare's, I kept missing home, kept wanting to come back to my things, all the stuff I'd accumulated whilst trying to build a life for myself and now that I was here I felt...nothing.
I expected for the fear to creep back in. After all, I'd seen Victor outside my window, had felt the past come back at me in this very apartment but I was fine.
Well, as fine as one could be after killing their ex.
It had been four days since it happened, and I still hadn't wrapped my head around it.
I still couldn't believe what had happened—how it had happened.
So I didn't even know how to feel. But I did know that I felt more at ease being on my own, walking the streets of this island because I knew he could no longer hurt me.
That didn't mean I wasn't waiting for the moment when I'd wake up and have a full-blown panic attack over putting a bullet through Victor's head.
I hoped being prepared for it meant I could handle it when it happened.
If it happened.
Dare had said it himself—the world had one less monster in it and Victor was just that. Maybe he'd worn a disguise before, for a long time or I'd had wool over my eyes and couldn't see it, but he had been a monster. And I'd be damned if I mourned him one second more than I had to.
As I put all my baking trays in a box that was far too weak to handle the weight of my equipment, there was a rap on the front door. A week or a month ago a knock would have sent me spiraling but now, it was just…normal.
"It's open," I said.
The door cracked open and a little blond flurry of excitement marched right through, dashing through the living room and launching itself right at me.
"Zach!" he said.
I groaned from the impact of Bear's little body jumping up at me and I chuckled.
"I missed you, little bud," I told him and hoisted Teddy's young nephew up on the kitchen counter.
"I missed you too. Do you have cake?" the young boy said.
I laughed. It seemed I wasn't the only one who had changed in the past month.
When Teddy and Bear moved in next door the young kid had been a shy bundle of insecurity and grief.
Now he was a confident little boy. At least with me.
I was sure having two beautifully reliable people in his corner had helped and that was exactly what Teddy and Wesley were to a kid who had lost everything he'd ever known.
"Let me see what I can whip up," I told Bear and took a baking tray out of the box while Teddy walked into the kitchen. "Why aren't you at school, little bud?"
"Ear infection and a cough," Teddy answered for him. "So I'd stay as far away from him as possible if I were you."
"Little bud's got the plague, huh?" I chuckled. "That's okay. If I didn't get the plague from Dare all this time, I'm sure I'll live."
I put the tray down, turned the oven on and opened another box to get out the stuff I needed for a cake.
"What are you doing?" Teddy asked.
"What does it look like? I'm making your boy a little treat."
"Oh no. Don't. You're trying to pack up. Don't unpack on our behalf."
I turned to them and I didn't miss the pout on Bear's face.
"It's okay. Really. I feel bad for Bear. I won't be able to spoil him with a thousand treats anymore," I said.
"Why? Where are you going?" Bear huffed and crossed his arms.
I walked over to him and took his little hands in mine, before I told him, "I'm moving out of my apartment. I'm going to live with Dare. Do you remember Dare? The big guy with the blueberry pies?"
Bear nodded.
"He lives on a farm. A blueberry farm, and we're going to make all the pies and cakes you could ever dream of, but unfortunately that means I won't be next door anymore."
"But we can come to the farm?" he asked.
"You sure can. You can even play with Dare's dog, Lookah. He's the biggest fluffball you've ever seen."
Bear smiled and I couldn't help but pinch his cheek. He was freaking adorable.
"Is Dare your boyfriend?" he asked.
I glanced at Teddy before I replied.
"He is."
"So he finally told you he loves you?"
I leaned back in surprise.
"He did. What do you mean, finally?"
Bear shrugged.
"He looked at you like he loves you."
"Did everyone know before I did?" I turned to Teddy and all he did was pat my shoulder with pressed lips that were obviously covering a smirk.
"Gosh. Right. Let's get your cake, mister man," I said and got to work fixing something up, while Teddy took over greasing the pan and turning the oven on.
"Where is your boyfriend, by the way? I thought he'd be here to help you move pack up," he said.
"He's in town. Went to drop off some orders and to watch the mayoral speech."
"Ah, yeah. Forgot about that." After a moment or two he turned and looked at me. "How are you feeling? After everything that happened?"
I shrugged.
"I think I'm okay."
"You think, or you know?"
"I am," I said with more certainty. "I keep expecting the gravity of...what I did to hit me, but it hasn't fully yet. But I think I'll be okay. I know I'll be okay. I've got Dare and he's more than I could have ever asked for."
Teddy reached for my hand and squeezed my wrist.
"You should have told me about your past. I feel awful for not...doing more."
I grabbed his hand too and cocked my head to the side.
"It's hard to tell people. I feel...silly for getting myself into that mess and staying in it for so long. I didn’t tell people. Besides, you had your own sh—tuff to worry about."
"But you're my friend. I can worry about you too."
I choked a laugh.
"I appreciate it. I really do. But it's done now. Now we can hopefully all move on with our lives, yeah?"
Teddy nodded and took the bowl over so he could pour the batter in the tray.
"Have you thought about what you're going to do now? Are you going to get a new truck?"
"I don't know. Honestly. Whenever I think about that I get hives. I don't know if I'll be able to find another truck or how long it will be before it's ready and when I think how long this whole thing will take I think about giving up altogether."
"You can't give up. People need your cakes."
"I'm sure they can make do with all the other cakes on the island."
Teddy put the tray in the oven and grabbed my shoulder.
"Yeah but it's not just your cakes, is it? People come to you for your smile and your kind words. You make people happy. Why do you think Dare fell for you? And I'm sure he's not the only one."
"Are you saying there's an army of people out there in love with me but too shy to say anything?" I raised an eyebrow.
"It wouldn't surprise me," he answered, not a hint of sarcasm in his tone. "You're one of a kind, Zach and everyone can see it."
I licked my lips, blinking away the tears that threatened to escape. I didn't need to cry right now.
"Thanks, Teddy. That means a lot."
"I mean it. I hate that I'm not working with you, you know. I mean, don't get me wrong, Hwan is excellent, but I miss my other boss."
I rolled my eyes.
"Please don't. I was never your boss. Just your friend. And colleague. But mainly your friend."
Teddy smiled.
"That's right. So as your friend, I'm asking you not to give up. You'll find a way to get your business back. I mean, you had insurance. I'm sure it'll be approved. And we can open the Wandering Bundt again under a new roof, or something."
I narrowed my eyes and studied Teddy while trying to process his words.
He did have a point. I did have insurance. I mean, there was a chance it would fall through but with all the other attacks on the island, surely it wouldn't? Maybe I could rebuild. Though I didn't know if I wanted to do it alone.
"You said we," I said.
Teddy grimaced and bit his lip.
"Sorry. I mean you. But I'll help any way I can. I'm not abandoning my friend."
I smiled and put my hands on his shoulders this time, which was uncomfortable considering how much taller than me he was, but I wanted to make a point.
"No, I don't mind. Would you consider doing it with me? Rebuilding, I mean," I added before he made a naughty joke or something. Or before I did, though I felt less likely to now that I had Dare.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm saying, would you want to be my business partner in this new endeavor, whatever it may be?"
Teddy opened his mouth then closed it again.
"I mean, yeah, of course, but I have no capital. No savings."
"I don't care about that. If I'm going to rebuild, I'll probably need help. A lot of help. And I can't do this all alone. So why not do it with my best friend? People appreciate your smile too, you know. Along with your ass."
Before Teddy could comment, Bear giggled to himself.
"You said ass," he said and we turned to look at him before we burst into laughter.
"Do you mean it?" he asked me when we calmed down again.
"Sure do. We'll have to figure out logistics—"
"Yeah, because you always hear about people going into business with their friends and it screws up their relationship and stuff."
I rolled my eyes.
"You forgot something, Teddy," I said.
"What?" he frowned.
"We're not most people. We'll figure it out. Now what do you say? Partners?" I offered him my hand, and I waited for him to shake it.
He stared at it for a second then shook my hand with a confident grasp.
"Partners."