Chapter One
One
“Geneva, you did what?” Crystal was speaking to me from between clenched teeth. “I can’t believe you slept with him again. What’s wrong with you?”
I was horny, that’s what was wrong with me, I wanted to scream.
But instead I just mumbled, “I dunno.”
Eric and I had been apart for years. We were only married three years, but right after Little Eric was born it became clear that my husband wasn’t interested in playing house or forging a relationship with his son. What he was interested in was sleeping around.
And he was never able to shake that part of himself. He’d been married twice since we split and had had three more children, and still he continued to fuck around.
I was awarded a pittance for child support when we divorced and was told that it would be increased with every pay raise Eric received, but I’ve never gotten a dime more, and he had made detective by the time Little Eric was ten years old.
Crystal says I should go back down to court. She says that it’s not right that Little Eric and I are living in a tiny two-bedroom apartment while Big Eric is living high on the hog in a split-level home in Hempstead, Long Island.
She says I can go back to court and they’ll pay me arrears and then maybe I can buy myself some new clothes and put a good chunk away for Little Eric’s schooling.
But I can’t be taking time off work to run back and forth to court. Crystal doesn’t know how the system works, how long they can drag a matter like this out. I don’t have the time or the patience.
So I keep it as is and take the extra Eric gives us when he can.
—
People treat you the way you allow them to. It’s true. I had no one to blame but myself. But the sex between us had always been amazing, and I was just too weak to give that up.
“You really need to stop that shit, Geneva. I mean, he’s no good for you, or haven’t you noticed that yet?” Crystal sucked her teeth and stabbed at her Caesar salad. We were having lunch at Red’s restaurant at the South Street Seaport.
What did she know? She was practically perfect. She had her education, a successful career, owned her apartment and a time-share in the Bahamas, and to top it off she had a man who was fine and wealthy!
She had no idea how hard it was for women like me.
There was a shortage of men out there, and so a lot of sharing went on.
The statistics are astronomical. Shit, I was tempted to tell her that she could be one of us and not even know it.
But I just gritted my teeth and said, “I know, Crystal. I just felt like I needed some affection.”
Crystal threw me a disgusted look and shook her head.
“Geneva, you act as if there’s no other men out here.
There are plenty of men out here. Look,” she said, pointing across the square, where men in suits and casual wear walked up and down or sat on the benches, talking or eating slices of pizza.
“Plenty,” she emphasized again and then picked up her water glass.
Yeah, plenty. Plenty of men with hang-ups and diseases and wives and babies. Plenty of men who wanted a model-thin woman. Me, I was enough woman for three men, and not every man out there knew how to appreciate a woman of my girth.
Besides, when I made love to Eric, he made me feel like I was a size six.
“So how’s Kendrick?” I asked, tiring of the subject of my dysfunctional life.
Crystal rolled her eyes at me before answering, “Okay, I’ll lay off you. He’s fine, I guess. He’s in London this week on business.” The smile that usually accompanied any mention of Kendrick was missing from Crystal’s face. “He’ll be back on Thursday, I think.”
“Oh,” I said and picked up a french fry.
Something was wrong with them, I could feel it.
“Have you talked to Chevy?” I asked, changing the subject again.
“Uh-huh, and I’m sure we won’t be talking until she has the money she owes me, and you know that may be weeks from now.” Crystal’s voice was filled with loathing.
“She borrowed money from you again?” I asked, in shock. Chevy seemed to think that Crystal was the Bank of New York. “How much this time?”
“Girl, I’m embarrassed to say,” she said as she swirled the ice around in her glass.
“Oh my God, Crystal, how much?” I pushed.
“Well, she said she needed it until she could get her money out of her 401(k).”
“How much?”
“Five thousand.”
“Five thousand dollars! Are you crazy! What the hell did Chevy need five thousand dollars for?” I guess I was a bit loud, because the people at the table next to us turned around and gave me a look.
Crystal leaned in and spoke in a dramatic whisper. “She said she needed to get some surgery done.”
I looked at Crystal like she had three heads. “And you believe that?”
I may be still screwing my baby’s daddy, but even I wasn’t stupid enough to believe a lie like that.
“What kind of surgery, and how come her health insurance couldn’t cover it?”
“I don’t know, Geneva. Please, it’s over and done with and I know that I won’t see that money anytime soon.”
“Or ever,” I said and bit into my hamburger.