Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
AUSTIN
Austin woke up to a strange noise. He looked at his bedside clock – it was only three in the morning.
Instinctively he reached across for Liam, then remembered he’d been for dinner with his dad and was staying at home.
Austin needed something to cuddle, so he pulled one pillow close to him and tried to go back to sleep.
He closed his eyes and heard the noise again.
What was that? He sat up and strained to hear.
It almost sounded like a whimpering. It could be coming from outside.
They got a lot of wildlife here. He flopped back down on his pillow and tried to switch his brain off, then he heard it again.
That definitely wasn’t coming from outside.
Austin jumped out of bed and pulled on his sweatpants.
He slept naked, so he didn’t want to risk giving his daughter an eyeful if she’d been woken by the noise as well.
He didn’t think it would be a burglar. That didn’t happen in Heartwood.
Crime was virtually non-existent, but he still looked around for something to grab.
There was nothing. He couldn’t hear the noise anymore, but still opened his bedroom door quietly.
Creeping into the living area, he heard the noise again and realised it was someone crying.
Thinking it was Maisie, he rushed forward, and what he saw broke his heart.
The man he loved was curled up in a ball, sobbing his heart out, trying to muffle the sound with a cushion.
His instinct was to go to him immediately, but he didn’t want to scare Liam.
Austin didn’t know why he was here, but he suspected something had happened with his dad this evening.
What else could it be? He’d seemed like the same Liam in their goodnight text messages, all loving and flirty.
Liam opened his eyes and saw Austin. He startled for a second, and then his face crumpled.
Austin sat down on the sofa and pulled Liam into his arms. He didn’t need to ask questions.
His man was in pain, and Austin would give him the comfort he needed.
He gently stroked his back as Liam cried into his chest. He wasn’t wearing a top, so Austin could feel his warm tears on his skin.
“I miss my mum,” Liam cried out, followed by gut-wrenching sobs.
Austin’s own eyes watered, seeing Liam in such pain and knowing he couldn’t take it away from him.
All he could do was be there for him as Liam cried his heart out.
Austin had thought something might be coming.
He’d gone through it himself with his own parents and Ellie; it had just crept up on him.
Even if you bawled your eyes out when it happened and at the funeral, there was always something that would trigger the feeling of loss again, and it would be different, because you’d had more time with it, and it felt more final.
With Ellie, one of her favourite songs had come on the radio when Austin was doing a big shop at the supermarket. Bursting into tears surrounded by three hundred varieties of pasta was not what he’d been planning that evening.
“Dad,” said Maisie, making them both jump. “What’s wrong with Liam?”
“He’s just missing his mum. You can go back to bed, sweetie.”
She shook her head and climbed onto the sofa with them, putting her arms around Liam.
He was so proud of his daughter. It had only been eighteen months since her own mother had died, and here she was providing comfort to someone else.
He rubbed her back and used his other hand to stroke Liam’s hair.
They stayed like that, holding each other whilst Liam cried it out.
“Austin, what can I do for you?” asked Martin. “Liam’s at the bakery.”
Liam wasn’t at the bakery. He was asleep in Austin’s bed, but he didn’t need to say that. Once Liam could talk, he’d explained what had happened with his dad the night before. Was Austin overstepping here by speaking to Liam’s dad without asking him first? Probably.
Austin had lost the person he thought he’d be with for the rest of his life, but he’d also had to think of the child they’d shared when Ellie died.
He wasn’t here as Liam’s boyfriend; he was here as another father.
Martin needed to understand the impact of what he’d done, even if it was from a place of love.
Austin would have to be careful, though, as the man was grieving as well, but he couldn’t just sit back and do nothing when the man he loved was in so much pain.
He had an overwhelming instinct to protect Liam.
That he’d come to Austin’s house because he felt safe there just cemented the love they felt for each other.
“I wanted to talk to you, Martin.”
“Is it about Liam?”
“In a way. I wanted to talk to you as one father to another.”
He looked a bit surprised, but stood back, opening the door for him to enter.
“Do you want tea or coffee?”
“Tea works for me. White with two. Thanks.”
“A sweet tooth like Liam.” He smiled.
Austin returned the smile, but it must have been obvious it wasn’t genuine as Martin frowned before disappearing into the kitchen.
This house was more traditional than his own, in that each room had a dedicated space.
Nothing was opened up like it was in Austin’s cottage.
He used to love this style, the way his parents had had it, each room with its own identity, but once he had his own family, he preferred the open space, so they could all be together, even if they were doing their own thing.
He’d been in the house before when they’d had dinner with Martin, or were just visiting.
Martin had also looked after Maisie a few times.
Austin had never looked at all the photos on the wall, though, which were mainly of Liam at different ages.
It was clear he’d been raised in a loving home and never had to hide who he was.
Austin was grateful to have had the same upbringing as well.
He knew others weren’t so lucky. Well, lucky was the wrong word, because it should be a given that your parents supported you unconditionally.
He couldn’t think of a single thing Maisie could do that would stop him from loving her.
“He was a cute kid, wasn’t he?” said Martin, holding their tea.
“Still cute now.”
Martin smiled. “I’ve been trying to work out why you’re here, Austin. I’m guessing it’s something to do with the conversation I had with Liam yesterday?”
“Yes, it is. Shall we sit down?”
Martin nodded, looking sombre. How should Austin play this? Did he need to be blunt or gentle? He didn’t know Martin all that well. He’d never been present at the bakery like Sylvie, and he was definitely the quieter one in his marriage.
“Just give it to me straight, Austin. If my son’s upset, I want to know why.”
That answered his question. “It was a lot that you dumped on him yesterday. The bakery was one thing, and I agree with that. It’s something he always wanted to do, and this way he can make it his own and not feel like he has to live someone else’s dream.”
“Was it too soon? I just thought when we were settling the estate, it made sense to do it now. Plus, if I live for the next seven years, he won’t get hit for inheritance tax. That’s what the lawyer advised, anyway.”
“Part of me thinks you should have talked to him about it first, but knowing Liam, he would have tried to talk you out of it. And he still might. The paperwork isn’t done yet.
But that’s not the issue. You’re going off for three months when Sylvie hasn’t even been gone a year.
Liam moved back here to support you, Martin.
He gave up his career and a huge salary.
He barely slept the first three months of the year, trying to juggle everything. And what did you do?”
Martin put his head in his hands. “I let him get on with it, whilst I sat in this chair rotting.”
“Hey, Martin. Look at me.”
Martin looked up. His eyes were wet, but he was holding himself together.
“Nobody is criticising you for grieving the way you did. Anyone who saw you and Sylvie together would know how much this was going to hurt, and Liam stepped up and kept everything ticking along. He parked his own grief, and now it’s just hit him.
And you announcing you’re going away for three months was probably the catalyst.”
“I haven’t booked anything.”
“I know, and I don’t think it’s about you going away. It’s more the timing.”
“I only suggested August because then I’d be back for Christmas and we’d still be here for her birthday. I wanted to be here for him for all the firsts.”
“How many Heartwood festivals are there between August and November, Martin?”
He thought for a second, and Austin saw him counting on his fingers.
“Three,” he said, still looking confused.
“And who booked all the festival slots this year?”
The realisation was clear on Martin’s face. “Fuck!”
Austin said nothing, just let the man process. His head was in his hands again. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable as Austin sipped his tea. The man made an excellent brew. Eventually, he looked up at Austin.
“Thank you,” said Martin.
“For what?”
“For looking out for my son. For loving him.”
Austin smiled. “I can’t take away his pain. I wish I could, and I know neither of you would want to hurt the other. Sometimes you just need another person to point out the obvious.”
“What do you suggest I do?” asked Martin. “I think you know my son better than I do now.”
“Not better. Just different. I know him as the man he is now. For you, he’ll always be the boy in those pictures. I’m sure I’ll be the same when Maisie grows up.”
“I think that young lady will keep you both on your toes.”
Austin chuckled. He wasn’t wrong. He smiled as well, thinking about the drama Maisie would likely bring when she was a teenager, and how he wouldn’t have to deal with all that alone. Austin would have Liam by his side.