Grovel

Prologue

"We don't want you anymore, Noelle…"

Snow falls in soft flurries, sticking to my hair and the lens of my tortoiseshell glasses as I have to shake my head to make sure I am hearing correctly.

Lights dazzle me everywhere, twinkling on the neighbors’ houses as they seem to mock me in that moment.

After all, Christmas is the best time of year. A time of giving and receiving… Yet, my Alphas just gave me the worst gift of all. A truth bomb, if you will.

The harsh words just came from the mouth of Shepard. The pack softie. He once made me a wooden puzzle box in woodshop, engraving my initials, NH (Noelle Hale), at the bottom.

We all scent-matched two years ago, even though we’ve known each other since kindergarten.

But now, Shepard and his brothers tell me that they don’t want me…

Something isn't right.

They’re all closed off, refusing to meet my eyes. Their utter indifference wounds me worse than a poison barb.

I look to Robin. He's the high school's marketing and PR expert and valedictorian, and he's even planning this year's winter festivities. He got me on the planning committee, too, since he has always valued my creative input.

But Robin is closed off, and I feel the ever-increasing weight of the distance growing between us as each Alpha takes a step further back. And with each step they take away from me, a little bit more of my heart cracks like a frozen lake.

Soon, the broken pieces of my heart will collect at my feet, merging with the snow-packed ground, and I will be the only one left to pick them up. But I need to get to the bottom of this unprecedented change. Surely, they are not in their right mind.

I've known them forever.

"No," I say, shaking my head. My red curls move with the movement. "I don't believe you. We've known for a few years now that I'm going to be your Omega. That we are all meant to be a pack."

Funnily enough, we scent-matched in biology class of all places, but honestly? I always knew I was destined to be with them.

Even at five years old, I knew I was going to be their Omega.

Now I look at Frost. He's grown colder these last few weeks, preferring to keep his distance as he writes his music.

He wants to be a musician when he’s older. Even bigger than The Beatles! Yet he won’t let me hear his songs.

Not lately. I often share my writing with him, and he shares his music with me. We even made a pact when we were twelve: if either of us makes it big in our respective fields, we will help promote the other.

I think I finally understand what this is…

They're having difficulties at home lately. Their mother left their fathers a few weeks ago for a rich Alpha CEO in the city.

Apparently, the small-town suburban life wasn't cutting it for her in the end, so she upped and left her three teenage sons with their Alpha fathers.

My fists curl as I address all three of them. "I am not like her…"

All three Alpha flinch at my words. They know who I’m talking about.

I step closer. "I would never leave you."

Shepard hangs his head, and there it is—the first sign of vulnerability. Robin is clipped as usual, but he can’t hide his pain from me either.

I can read him like one of his books. All his tells and obvious tics.

However, Frost wears his permanent snarl. It hasn't left his handsome face since their mother left.

Now, those blinking Christmas lights blur and stretch as tears flood my eyes. "I won't leave you. Ever. I—"

"Don't, Noelle," Frost cuts me off, and I meet the ice in his cold blue eyes. But behind the ice, I also spy the broken child.

They’re all broken. Their mother left them, so they’re all hurting. But they’re also not thinking clearly.

Frost looms closer. "This is our choice, Noelle. We don't want an Omega, and that is final. So, don’t tell us how we should feel.”

And there goes my heart again, shattering into a million pieces. But despite the heartbreak, I go on. I have to.

I can’t let them go through with this. I refuse to let them make the biggest mistake of their lives.

"This is ridiculous! You can’t all just give up on love because of one bad experience."

Frost scoffs. "That's rich, coming from an Omega…"

My own Omega flinches at his sharp tone, and if I'm not careful, she's going to bleed out on the ground.

I grit my teeth, moving closer until I'm several inches away from Frost. They're all so much taller than me at six feet, and the worst part of all: they're still growing.

I stopped in ninth grade.

They may only be seventeen, but each of them has muscles.

Shepard has the biggest arms since he works with hammers and tools, and he even works with his father at his homeware store.

Robin is like his father, too, highly intelligent and obsessed with reading.

His father even works in the mayor's office at the town hall.

Frost took after his father with his love for music, and the man even works at the high school, teaching the very same subject.

I expect good things from them all. I really do.

Meanwhile, I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I love to write, and the idea of traveling has always appealed to me.

But there's one thing I do know: In every possible future I envision for myself, they are always there, cheering me on.

I know it deep in my heart; I would never leave them. Every one of my plans involves them.

I don't look away from Frost once when I grit out, "I. Am. Nothing. Like. Her…"

"Oh, yeah," Frost steps back, leaning casually against a pine tree. "Do you not dream of big city lights, and traveling and journaling everything you see so you can capture it in the written word?"

I shrug. "So? So did you at one point. What happened to becoming a world-famous rockstar?"

Frost's smile becomes serpentine. "My father wanted to be a rock star once. But then he settled down with an Omega and decided to teach instead. Yet, that Omega only ended up leaving him eighteen years later.”

"Frost…" Shepard warns.

But the wannabe musician goes on. "No. She needs to hear it. She needs to hear what we really think about Omegas."

I put my hands on my hips. "Well, don't hold anything back. Spill it, Frost."

The Alpha's eyes spark as he kicks his feet off the tree, and now we are inches apart. He lowers his head. "That you're all manipulative, poisonous vixens, who trick poor Alphas into doing anything you want."

"That's enough, Frost," Robin speaks this time.

Frost crosses his arms. "Admit it. You don't want us any more than we want you, Noelle. Because we would only tie you down. Hold you back from your real dreams."

Hot tears streak my cheeks. "That's not true, and you know it!"

Frost sighs, his breath clouding the air. "Honestly? I don't know what to believe anymore. I once thought that a mother's love was unconditional, but I soon learned the hard way that it's not. So, here we are."

A car drives by next, playing a cheerful Christmas carol, and how the merry tune mocks me. How this whole festive season mocks me now.

"Tread carefully now," I warn. “Is this seriously what you all want? Because you will never get another chance with me. Once you let me go, that's it. There’s no going back."

Shepard moves his mouth to speak, but then he lowers his head, closing his eyes in defeat. Robin is stiff and stoic as usual. Not once do his eyes move my way.

But Frost only has eyes for me… and it's not affection or admiration I spy in his gaze now, but hatred. Hatred because I happen to remind him of the Omega who should love him the most in this world. The one who gave him life.

But I am not like her. And they all know it. But they are determined to push me away, out of fear of getting their hearts broken all over again.

I start backing away. "Fine… be like that. I… I don't want you anymore either!"

Now that's a terrible lie; I do want them. I've wanted them ever since I first laid eyes on them. Even as a little girl, I used to put their last name in my workbook at school.

Noelle Wynter.

But now, that illusion shatters.

Whirling around, I run straight back to my house. If they want to drive me away, so be it. I can't stay here.

In the end, they are making me do this. Making me just like the Omega who left them.

Forget Silverpine.

I'm going to see the world.

"Noelle, wait!"

It's Shepard's voice that calls after me, but I don't look back.

"No! I hate you. I hate all three of you... I never want to see your faces again!"

Another ugly lie, but right now, it’s my truth. If I even so much as look at them, I will fall apart.

I barge through the front door of my house, and our holiday wreath almost falls off the knocker when I slam it shut.

I follow the sound of voices, and then I find my mother and fathers in the kitchen.

Oh, now I see why I had illusions about finding a warm pack of Alphas who would cater to my every whim and need.

Because that is all I have ever known.

Now I watch as my fathers make my mom a warm cup of cocoa, just the way she likes it best, with whipped cream and marshmallows.

They even add a little bit of shaved chocolate as I stare at the sweet sight with tears in my eyes.

Mom looks up at me as she brings the mug to her lips, and I meet my own brown eyes on her beautiful face. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

Unlike Mom, though, my hair isn’t as black as night. No, my hair is as red as the holly berry.

My dads are all some variation of brunet. I don’t know who my biological father is out of the three of them, and I don’t plan to know. It never mattered to me.

They're all my dads. Simple. From the moment my mom found out she was pregnant with me, they were there.

And now, I am blessed with three fathers.

Probably the only men who will ever love me. The only Alphas I can trust.

My father, Joel, comes around, sitting me down at the table. My other dad, Bernard, starts making me my own cup of hot cocoa.

"What happened?"

The question comes from my third father, Richard. The pack lead.

I wipe my eyes. "Are… are you still thinking about taking that job in New York?"

My dad, Richard, presses his mouth into a firm line. He's a lawyer and recently got accepted for a job at a major law firm in the Big Apple.

"Why?" he asks.

I suck in a deep breath as I prepare myself. "Because I can't stay here anymore. I can't stand Silverpine. I'm sick of this place."

If Pack Wynter wants to drive me away, so be it.

In the end, they made me this way. I only ended up becoming just like their mother. They got what they wanted.

“Are you sure about this, Noelle?” my mom says softly, taking my hand.

But I only nod my head. The sooner we leave, the better.

Finally, my dad closes his eyes. “If that’s what you want, Noelle… all right. I will take the job.”

Now silence settles over the room as it appears that the decision is final. It was only me who was holding them back. Because they knew I had a life here.

But I don’t anymore. That life has gone.

So, goodbye forever, Silverpine… But hello to the big city lights of New York.

Noelle Hale is about to take you over.