Chapter 19 Noelle
Noelle
Once again, I cast my gaze over the icicled eaves of the lodge—the one owned by my former Alphas and best friends.
As before, the icicles drip and glisten in the low winter sun. Snow dusted conifers box me in as I tread over pinecones toward the rustic wooden building, pushing my way through the doors once I arrive.
I find the same bejeweled Christmas tree, the one with the little train running its course around the base. And the same ornaments from kindergarten grinning back at me from their boughs.
I still can’t believe they kept them after all these years. I gave the boys my little ornament because even at the sweet age of five, I thought I was going to be theirs.
But life had other plans in store for me.
Things didn’t turn out the way I wanted in the end. Now, I’m making New Year plans with a rich lawyer from New York City by the name of Duke—an Alpha whom I don’t think has worked an honest blue-collar job in his life.
Brisk footsteps approach from a garlanded hallway, the one on the left of the lobby, and that’s when Robin materializes.
I let go of the branch that holds our childhood effigies, standing at attention like a soldier waiting for their drill sergeant.
Well, things just got really awkward and fast. Robin pauses when he sees my unnatural stance, eyebrows jumping up into his dirty-blond hairline.
A memory of our kiss surfaces, and I try not to recall the sensation of his lips on mine, or the feel of his hot breath fanning my face in the biting cold, as he kept me warm.
Crap. My Omega just wants to climb him like a tree as she grabs ahold of that silly Christmas tie, yanking on it, hard.
“Oh. Hello, Noelle. W-what a pleasant surprise,” he stammers.
I can tell he’s phoning in the surprise, but I feign ignorance all the same, remaining ramrod straight.
His gaze travels to the branch I was holding, since it’s still wobbling in its place on the tree. When he finds the little hanging ornaments, sadness steals the shine from his eyes.
Finally, he sighs, “Noelle… About the other night. I’m sorry—”
“It’s fine,” I say too quickly, holding up a hand in a bid to change the subject. “Really.”
Another awkward silence stretches between us. All the while, the miniature steam engine runs another course around the tree, hooting its tiny whistle.
“Well, come this way,” he says in a clipped voice, leading me down the corridor.
Now I gather myself, following him down the hallway. He opens a door for a small conference room near the end, and it all feels so official.
My heart seizes.
Thankfully, Shepard is there to distract from the awful tension, a belt of tools hanging from his waist as he waves his hand.
Frost hovers in the shadows, his arms crossed and face turned away as if he’s avoiding the light.
“Take a seat, Noelle.”
Now I take a seat at the long conference table, on the opposite side of the pack as we sit in tense silence.
Frost remains in his dark corner. Robin coughs for his attention, inclining his head toward the empty seat on Shepard’s left.
But Frost smirks, slinking out from the shadows, and lo and behold, he sits on my side of the table.
Robin clenches his teeth as he narrows his eyes at his brother. Frost shrugs. “What? Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous? She looks as if she’s coming to a job interview. Oh, don’t worry, Noelle…You got it.”
He winks at me playfully, but I just deadpan him. He's right, though. Frost’s sitting on my side of the table does make this meeting feel less formal.
Now it just looks like a casual meeting between friends… or former friends.
Robin sighs, pushing his glasses up his nose as he fixes me with a serious stare. He clasps his hands, acting all formal like he usually does.
“So, Noelle, you explained in your text that you want to talk?”
My heart pounds, and then my cheeks burn as I feel the eyes of each Alpha. Well, that’s not true—Frost recoils from the watery light that pools in from the window, so he’s not looking at anyone.
Maybe we need to pull down the blinds. He looks terrible. His eyes are bloodshot.
I inhale a deep breath, gazing at my twirling thumbnails. “So… I’ve had a lot of time to think. I… want to give this another shot.”
I spin my finger amongst the four of us.
All three Alphas fall ghostly silent. Robin’s mouth hangs while Shepard stares at me like I’ve grown an extra arm. Only Frost manages to look nonchalant, but I hear his small intake of breath.
I’ve knocked them all speechless.
Robin is the first to speak. “Well, we’re certainly taken aback, Noelle. However, I think that ship sailed long ago…We missed our chance. I mean, look at you now—a big city girl. A writer… just like you always wanted.”
I narrow my eyes. “So, you don’t want to give us another chance? Is that it?”
Robin fumbles for words. He looks to Shepard, desperately. The handyman rolls his eyes, meeting my gaze. “We’d love nothing more, Noelle, but I don’t think we’re worthy of you anymore. So…we would understand if you didn’t want us.”
I roll my own eyes. “Well, I’m here, aren’t I? And I’m prepared to give the three of you a chance to make amends. After all, it took a lot of guts for me to come here today, baring my heart to you, especially after how you all broke it the last time I was here.”
They all flinch at the reminder. Even Frost can’t hide his dismay at the memory.
I get what this is. They’re just trying to be gentlemen. They accepted long ago that I won’t ever want them back, and they’ve made peace with that.
Well, I haven’t.
Frost scoffs. “So… what? We all take you out on dates?”
I meet his gaze. “Something to that effect, yeah. If you think you’re up to it.”
The Alpha blinks dumbly as he has nothing to say to that.
I’ve said all I need to today. So, I get up, heading for the door.
“I’ll say this much. This will be your last chance.
You all have until the New Year to convince me that you’ve all changed.
Once the New Year rolls in, I’ll be heading back to New York. ”
Robin stumbles, searching for the right words to rectify the situation. Shepard closes his eyes, rubbing between his brows.
It's Frost who speaks. “Then I guess we all have our work cut out.”
I smirk, opening the door. “Well, I look forward to all the groveling, guys. If you think you’re Alpha enough for it.”
I’m doing just as my Nana suggested. I am seizing my chance. If they hurt me again, so be it. At least I can say that I tried—that I didn’t throw away what possibly could have been one of the best things to ever happen to me.
We really could have had it all… and we still can.
There is hope for us yet.
Now I glance at Robin before I move out the door. “I look forward to the Christmas Festival celebrations, Robin. When’s the committee meeting again?”
He stammers again. “This… this afternoon. We moved it up from Friday.”
Oh. Well, so much for my dramatic departure. There’s really no point in my leaving then.
I shrug, stepping out into the corridor. “Well, I guess I will see you then.”
Now I make a point of heading back to my car, where I plan to wait until the afternoon. I really didn’t think this through.
Yet before I reach the door in the lobby, Robin stops me. “Noelle, wait.”