Chapter 21
NANCY
‘Are you ready? We need to get going!’ Jackie called, knocking on Nancy’s bedroom door that evening.
Nancy studied her reflection in the wardrobe mirror again.
Why on earth had she agreed to go to see Slate and the Ragin’ Rockers play with Jackie?
She had never been to a rock gig before and had no idea how to dress.
She’d asked Jackie and she’d said she was wearing jeans, but Nancy’s jeans were a bit old and faded so she’d bought a new pair after she’d left Mystic Quartz.
And now she wasn’t sure if she’d got the right style.
She’d gone for a dark blue straight leg, but they seemed a bit tight around her hips and bum.
‘Nancy! What’s keeping you, love? We’ll miss the beginning at this rate!’
Nancy opened the door. Jackie looked fantastic. Her faded blue jeans were tucked into brown knee-length boots, she wore a black T-shirt over them and a brown leather jacket. Now Nancy felt even more awkward in her spotless white trainers and duffel coat. ‘Do I look all right?’ she asked.
Jackie tilted her head to one side. ‘Do you have any boots?’
So, her jeans seemed okay then, Nancy thought in relief. ‘Only black ankle boots,’ she replied.
‘They’ll do. And what about a short jacket?’
‘Take a look in my wardrobe if you want,’ Nancy said sitting on her bed to change out of her trainers into her boots.
‘This will look good.’ Jackie pulled a short, off-white, faux fur jacket out of the wardrobe.
‘Do you think so?’ Nancy had bought the jacket in a sale, but Clifford had made a face when he saw it, so she had never worn it.
‘Yep. It’s perfect.’
Nancy slipped it on and looked in the mirror. She couldn’t believe the difference it made. ‘I’m not sure if it’s me.’
‘It’s totally you. You look fabulous. Now, can we please get going?’
Nancy grabbed her handbag and slung the strap crossbody as Jackie had done with hers. ‘Ready.’
* * *
The Ragin’ Rockers were playing at a pub in the centre of town.
It was nothing like the gastro pubs that Clifford and Nancy occasionally used to go to for Sunday lunch.
It was in a side street and looked quite dark.
Nancy felt a little uneasy. She could hear the music before they even stepped inside.
‘Sorry, I’ve made us late,’ she apologised.
‘No problem, I reckon they’ve only just started. Let’s grab a drink then find a seat.’
‘You walked out because you wanted to be free!’ She could hear Slate’s voice and the strumming of his guitar.
‘I’m having a zero beer as I’m driving but you go for booze, if you want,’ Jackie told her.
Nancy usually had a white wine, but tonight she felt different, so she wanted something different. ‘I’ll have half a cider, please.’ She hadn’t drunk cider since she and Val had gone on wild nights out before they’d got married.
Jackie passed her half of cider then picked up her glass. ‘It sounds like they’re in the back room. Let’s go through.’
They weaved in and out of the crowd into a crowded room at the back where Slate, Decaf and Oxo were playing on a makeshift stage.
Slate spotted them and motioned to a small table in the corner, which had a reserved sign on it and six chairs around it.
He’d saved a table for them. She wondered who the other guests were.
‘I feel rather important, don’t you?’ Jackie asked as they took their seats. ‘Friends of the group and all that.’
‘I do too.’ She took a sip of her cider and almost choked. It was a lot stronger than she remembered. ‘I haven’t been to a place like this for years,’ she confessed. ‘And I’ve never seen a rock band play live.’
‘There’s a first time for everything,’ Jackie told her. She raised her glass. ‘To always being ready to try anything new.’
Nancy raised her glass too. ‘I second that.’ She’d got into a bit of a rut with Clifford, she realised, and him leaving had made her rethink her life.
She’d never have taken in lodgers or got a cat – although Cobweb belonged to Phyllis, she was becoming more of a house pet, and she seemed to have taken quite a shine to Nancy.
The cute cat had been very affectionate with her in the shop today and had comforted her when she was crying in the garden the other day, she recalled.
And she’d certainly never have dressed like this and come to a rock gig! She had to admit that she was enjoying herself though.
A woman walked over with some bottles of zero beer on a tray.
She waved to Decaf and sat down at the table.
She was a little younger than Nancy, dressed in a leather jacket, denim miniskirt, black tights and black ankle boots.
Nancy guessed that she must be Muriel. She nodded to Nancy and Jackie then turned around and focused on the band.
The Ragin’ Rockers were a fab group and Nancy was rather proud that Slate was one of her lodgers. Several people, including Muriel, were swaying and singing along to the music. Jackie started singing, too, and dancing in her chair. After a little hesitation Nancy joined in.
Nancy kept waiting for someone to take the spare chairs, but no one did.
Then Slate announced that they were taking a short break.
They all put down their instruments and strolled over to the table.
Slate sat on the chair next to Nancy, Oxo next to Jackie and Decaf next to the other woman who immediately took his hand.
‘Muriel, this is Nancy, my landlady, and Jackie a fellow tenant,’ Slate introduced them. ‘Nancy, Jackie, this is Muriel, Decaf’s other half.’
Goodness, they actually were sitting with the band! Nancy felt a surge of excitement.
‘Hope you’re enjoying the gig, ladies,’ Slate said.
‘It’s great. You’re good, you really are,’ Jackie said enthusiastically.
‘I agree. You’ve got everybody’s feet tapping,’ Nancy told him. ‘I can’t believe that we didn’t have to pay to come in. Surely you don’t play for free?’
‘No, the pub pays us and hopes to cover our cost out of the drink takings. And usually do, to be fair. They’ll often also pass a cup around for donations. To be honest, we do it more for fun than the money nowadays.’
It looks fun too, but you had to have some confidence, Nancy thought. She tried to imagine what it would be like to sing in front of a pub full of people. Although, it was a friendly crowd.
‘Have you ever played at a concert or has it always been local gigs like this?’ Jackie asked the question Nancy had been wondering about.
‘We played at a lot of festivals in our younger days, and occasionally do now, but usually it’s a smaller crowd,’ Oxo told her.
After a few swigs of their beer it was time for the band to start playing again. Some people got up to dance in the space around the Ragin’ Rockers in the second half and there was such a lively atmosphere in the bar. Muriel got up and started dancing too.
‘Fancy a dance?’ Jackie asked.
Nancy hesitated. She’d been tapping her feet to the music and part of her was itching to get up and dance, but she didn’t want to make a fool of herself.
‘I’m a bit rusty,’ she confessed. ‘Apart from a slow dance with Clifford at his annual work party, the only jiggling around I’ve done since my twenties is in my kitchen.’
‘There’s no special steps – do whatever you feel.’ Jackie pushed her chair back and stood up.
Just do it! Nancy told herself and before she could think about it any further, she stood up too.
She felt a little bit awkward as they joined the other dancers, but Jackie was right – no one seemed to be doing any particular steps – so she swayed about a bit, letting the music flow through her, just moving to the rhythm.
Jackie grinned at her in approval. Slate caught her eye and winked, which made her feel ridiculously pleased.
Well, if Clifford could see me now, dancing in a pub to a rock band, he’d be shocked. She couldn’t believe it herself.
There was a lot of applause and cheering when the rock band finished, with the audience calling out for one more song, then another one. This was a whole new world to what Nancy was used to, but she was loving being part of it.
‘They’re very popular, aren’t they?’ she remarked.
Jackie nodded. ‘When I see Slate in his tweed jacket and jeans, running a class on poetry next week I’ll find it hard to reconcile the two people.’
‘It’s the same with you being a library assistant and a nude model.’ The words were out before she could stop them. ‘Oh goodness, that was rude. I’m so sorry.’ She put her hand over her mouth, mortified.
Jackie laughed. ‘Don’t be daft, it’s true. Most of us have two different sides to our character, don’t you think? A lot of people try to keep the one side hidden though.’
Like Clifford, Nancy realised. All these years he’d been sensible and reliable. Had he always secretly wanted to shake off his shackles and travel the world? Is that why he’d left her? He decided he had to be true to himself now before he got too old?
That didn’t excuse what he did, running up all that mortgage debt and taking all their savings, leaving her to cope with the mess he’d made.
And what about her? Did she have another side to her character that she’d been suppressing? She fingered the garnet necklace she was wearing around her neck. She found it strangely comforting.
‘Right, me and Oxo are off for a curry before we go home. Do you girls fancy joining us?’ Slate asked.
Muriel and Decaf weren’t joining them then, Nancy thought.
Although that wasn’t hugely surprising as they did look very loved up.
Maybe they were in that first flush of love when you wanted to be with each other as much as possible, which is why Muriel had wanted Slate to leave, so she and Decaf could be alone.
‘I’m up for it,’ Jackie looked questioningly at Nancy. They’d come together so if Nancy didn’t go, she knew Jackie would leave it and go back home with her. She nodded. ‘Sounds good.’
* * *
It was gone midnight when they all finally got home, and then they piled into the kitchen for a coffee.
Phyllis heard them and came down in her dressing gown to join them.
When she finally got to bed that night, it took Nancy ages to get to sleep, because Slate’s song kept playing over and over in her head.
‘Now you’ve gone, I can finally be me.’
It seemed like it was a message to her. Now Clifford had gone she could finally be herself.