30
His mom’s warning haunted him through exam week. He recognised that she had it out for him, but he wasn’t able to dismiss what she’d said as only spite. Everything she’d said had a grain of truth in it. Playing sport professionally wasn’t an option for Will. Not in volleyball, and not in Ireland. Professional players weren’t paid enough. Which meant he would need to do something else next year, and whatever that was, having passing grades would make it easier.
But he didn’t want to give it up. Like his dad had pointed out, he’d get to play other countries on a world stage. How could he turn that down?
Leah: What the hell did you do to mom???
Will had half-typed a reply almost a dozen times now, but he’d never sent it. He closed the message without answering again. Will dragged himself from his daze, taking note of his surroundings. The men’s changing room at school. The students were getting changed having just come in after soccer training. He looked up to find Dune watching him by his side. His eyes were a silent question: You good?
Will offered a half shrug. The answer was undoubtedly no, and Will figured by this point everyone in school knew that he was struggling. Unlike when his parents’ divorce was found out, nobody had come up to him to offer their ‘support.’ Instead, everyone seemed to do their best not to acknowledge that he was obviously not good.
He glanced around the changing room. Everyone was lingering, which was unusual. Gale was sitting with his head bent toward his phone, a little smile curving his lips. Will bet Gale and Eileen getting together was the reason she’d stopped sending him flirty texts.
“Anyone free for some study?” Will asked.
Everyone immediately abandoned whatever they were doing at once to face him, and there was casual chorus of voices from which he could make out “sure,” “I guess,” “I’m not busy,” and “might as well.” The sudden mix of voices ended in silence as the team members glanced around at each other, embarrassed.
“How long were you planning to wait for me to ask?” Will wondered. He was a little amused, but also touched.
Gale shrugged. “Five more minutes.”
“I was just tying my shoelace,” Michael said.
“I needed to drink the rest of my water,” James pointed out. James's presence surprised Will. He’d always thought the guy hated him, and he’d disliked him a lot in return. He felt bad for feeling that way now.
“Let's go to the diner,” Dune suggested. “We can get food while we work.”
He gave Will’s shoulder a hard squeeze. Will took this cue to mean, I’m paying, and you better not object. Will didn’t like owing him more money, but he decided he’d take the guilt for now and spend time with them.
*
“This maths assignment will be marked hard,” Michael said. “I know it. Or maybe he’ll give the soccer players a separate, impossible assignment just so he can fail us.”
Will’s heart accelerated like it always did whenever anyone talked about Gabriel, and he was self-conscious about giving anything away. He didn’t want to get Gabriel into trouble. But once Michael badmouthed him, it was like Will didn’t have a choice; he had to defend Gabriel. “He’s not out to get anyone.”
Dune’s gaze lifted from the copy in front of him to settle on Will. His expression was carefully blank, but he was watching him closely. Will frowned at him.
“He let up on us this past week, sure, but don’t let that fool you,” Michael continued. “He’s only being nice so we don’t complain about him. Think about it. He’s a temporary tutor. If all of us got together and said he was doing a terrible job—”
Will’s chest got hot until the anger was a steady burn against his heart. “Except we’re not going to do that, because Gabriel’s not actually out to get anyone.”
Michael’s eyes widened. He seemed to realise he’d stepped on a nerve because he put his hands up in surrender. “My bad. From now on, O'Connor’s a saint.”
Will got a look or two, but nobody said anything to him. Nobody commented on the fact he’d just referred to their tutor on a first-name basis, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Dune’s expression became muddled.
The anger in his chest cooled down, and Will felt bad. Michael didn’t mean any harm, and nobody here was malicious enough to actually try to go after someone like that. “Michael, I’m—”
“It’s okay, dude.” Michael shot him a smile. “You got the hots for teacher. Totally get it. If anyone talked smack about Miss Sparrow, I’d wring their neck.”
Gale snorted, and the other guys laughed.
Will lowered his hands beneath the table to pinch himself hard as he cringed. Why did Michael have to say that? Why did Will have to be so obvious? He was hyperaware that Dune was still watching and was terrified that he was giving more away than he even realised.
“I dunno, Michael,” Will said, forcing his voice to be casual. “Miss Sparrow’s been cold the past few weeks.”
James agreed, adding a rude remark that had Michael glaring at him. Will pretended to be interested in the little stand-off between them, but it wasn’t enough to distract him. Dune was looking at him as if he knew something, and Will was panicking.
He tried to reassure himself that there’s no way Dune could know about him. The only times he’d been intimate with Gabriel they’d been indoors, and away from prying eyes. And even if Dune thought Will liked him, that meant nothing. It meant about as much as Michael’s comment about Miss Sparrow. He relaxed.
“You okay?” Will asked Dune.
“I’m good,” Dune said, distracted. He took out his phone and started texting.
Before Will could question him further, he saw Birch walk into the diner. Next to him was a tall man with the same black hair and caramel skin. It had to be his dad. Will watched them take a seat in the back. He excused himself from the table when Birch headed toward the bathroom.
A dim yellow bulb lit the little hallway outside the diner bathrooms, which was filled with clutter. Will idly looked it over, trying to distract himself as he waited.
Birch came out and took Will in. He looked happy for a second, but then guarded.
Will broke the awkward silence between them. “I’m sorry about ditching you last week. I had a bad day, and I needed to get away from school.”
Birch leaned against the wall next to the door. His honey-coloured eyes looked exceptionally vibrant in the dull lighting. “Jack told me you went home. I had time to text my dad to come get me.”
“That’s good.”
There was an odd tension between them that Will didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t just awkward. There was something else too. “So, that’s your dad?” he asked, just to break the weird mood. “You two look alike, although he’s a lot bigger than I imagined.”
“Amanda’s still mad at me,” Birch said, ignoring his attempt to ease the tension. He stared right at Will. “I cancelled on her for you.”
Will hated this. Bringing things out into the light. Because he couldn’t pretend that he was a nice guy anymore. He couldn’t pretend that he was the guy that everyone liked. But he knew he owed Birch some honesty. Maybe he owed it to Amanda too. “I know,” he said. “I’m sorry I made you do that.”
“You didn’t make me do anything,” Birch said. “I wanted to come over for…study. And Amanda knows that as well. You shouldn’t have used me like that. It’s not nice at all.” He was scowling at his feet, kicking at the ground. “If you were fighting with her, you should have just sorted it out with her. Now I look like an idiot over the whole thing and everything’s awkward.”
“I’m sorry.”
Birch peeked up at Will. “Did you invite me over just to annoy her?”
Ah, Will was feeling even worse now. He gripped the edge of his shirt, knowing exactly what Birch was asking. “Yeah,” Will admitted. Even if it wasn’t a mess with Amanda and Jack, Will didn’t think he could go for Birch. He wanted Gabriel. He knew him and Gabriel were compatible. And even if it was over…Will wasn’t over it.
Will was braced for anger, or disappointment. But Birch just shrugged to himself. “I thought so.”
“Who's the guy?” he asked.
Will sighed. Everyone knew there was a guy. How did one hickey expose him to the entire world?
“It’s not Dune, is it?”
“No, it isn’t Dune.” Will rested against the wall and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “He’s uh, he’s older.”
“Huh.” Birch crossed his arms. “I can picture you going for someone more mature. And what’s his deal? Why’d you invite me over when you have him?”
“I don’t have him.”
Birch looked curious. “You don’t want to date him?”
“I’d love to date him,” Will answered honestly. The truth of that ached, a lot. “He sort of broke up with me.”
At that Birch straightened. “Someone broke up with you? They must be crazy.”
Will chuckled, and Birch blushed.
“He’s not crazy,” Will continued, pretending he didn’t notice how embarrassed and perturbed Birch looked. “He found out I was a minor.” The little cracks in Will’s heart ached. “And I know I won’t be a minor forever, and I know he cares about me, and maybe he’s capable of putting his feelings on hold for months, but I’m not.” He took in a ragged breath. “I don’t know how to not want him every second of the day, or not want to text him whenever something goes right or wrong, or not feel horrible every time he treats me like I’m just a—” He cut himself off with a sharp breath.
Birch was staring at him with a slack jaw.
Will bent his head down as his cheeks got red. “I’m sorry. That just came out.” His voice was pitchy in his embarrassment. The words had just clawed their way out. And a very dangerous word had almost ruined everything. Student .
“It’s fine.” Birch averted his gaze. “Honestly, I thought you were in love with Jack, so I’m not that surprised you’re in love with someone. Are you going to tell him how you feel?”
Love. Will toyed with the word before pushing it to the back of his mind.
“I’m sure he’s well aware of my feelings by this point,” Will said. “And I don’t see what that would achieve, aside from making the both of us more miserable about our situation.”
Birch shrugged. “You might feel better after getting it out.”
The door from the diner swung open. The older version of Birch leaned in and raised his eyebrows. “You want to order the food tonight or tomorrow?”
“Tonight, Dad.” Birch rolled his eyes.
Birch’s dad gave Will a curious look but then went back out. Birch followed him to the door, but paused. “Thanks for that.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Will answered.
“You didn’t have to talk to me. I’m glad we got that out in the open.” Birch gave another shrug.
“We’re not on bad terms now, are we?” Will asked, unsure what Birch had gotten out of their conversation.
Birch gave Will this look, like maybe they weren’t on bad terms until Will went and asked about it.
“Beyond making out, it’s not as if we were on good terms in the first place,” Birch pointed out. “But don’t think you can use me like that again the next time you fight with Amanda.”
“I won’t.”
“Good. See you around.”