Chapter 15 – Teagan
Cody clears his throat, breaking the quiet as he steers the truck off the Ashwood Ranch driveway and onto the main road. The tires crunch against the gravel, a stark reminder that I’m leaving the property and probably won’t be returning to Ashwood ranch ever again.
This morning, I was thinking about a future with Wilder and a way to make things work these next four years.
Now, I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to let this weekend go when I move back to Houston with so many unanswered questions and the pain of losing something I never had, filling my heart.
Maybe Cody can help me with these questions, but right now, I’m not sure if I’m ready to hear the truth.
“You know, he wasn’t always this way. Quiet, closed off and difficult to read. Slow to open up to people. He used to be much more outgoing and trusting towards new people, though I suppose it isn’t too surprising that he didn’t tell you about Willow.”
“There’s usually always a story for the reason someone retreats inward,” I respond flatly. “I’m guessing his has something to do with her.”
Cody nods. “Look, he shouldn’t have freaked out the way he just did but I think that you should know, he’s never brought a woman back to the ranch to spend the night before.
He’d never bring someone to Ashwood knowing there was a chance that they might run into Willow.
I know it probably doesn't feel like it right now, but you must be something special to Wilder even if y’all barely know each other. ”
I’m quiet. I’ve known him for three days.
That’s it. I truly don’t know anything about him and yet I was getting ahead of myself, playing ‘house’ and thinking that my sister’s bachelorette week could have extended beyond just that and into a long-distance relationship. Feeling like what we had was real.
“I’m headed back to Houston in three days and will be in school for the next four years.
It really doesn’t matter what might have been between us,” I respond, because I can already feel the walls that I’d let down when I’d opened up to him yesterday being built back up.
There’s a reason I keep the story about my past a secret because no one has been strong enough to help me carry it.
And despite my scathing words, and bitterness over how this all ended so abruptly, I don’t mean a single word of what I just said.
Cody smiles as he casts me a sideways knowing glance. He knows that it does matter to me what was between us. It matters too much.
"Where's Willow's mother?" I ask because I at least need to know that.
Cody sighs. “I’m going to tell you this because you deserve to know.
Wilder is so damn good at self-sabotaging anything good that comes his way because he thinks he doesn’t deserve happiness anymore.
But I know my twin brother, and this is something he likely wanted to tell you, yet didn’t know where to begin.
For most of us in life, we just need someone to hear our story and sit with it to help carry the burden. Don’t you think, Teagan?”
I think quietly about Cody’s words. He’s not wrong. Part of the healing is simply being heard which is what I’d thought Wilder had offered me yesterday while I shared about my past.
“Yeah, I agree…” my voice trails off into hesitation.
He sighs. “A little over two years ago, Wilder met a girl named Mercedes Evans. They were young and fell for each other hard. Her family had just moved from California to Lonestar Junction for work, and she was headed to the local community college to study education. She was quiet. A writer who wrote romance novels as a means of escaping her abusive past. About six months into their relationship, Mercedes and Wilder mutually decided that there was no future for them and decided to amicably break up. He was never like me, bouncing from one girl to the next, but he liked going out, partying, normal stuff for a twenty-year-old guy, and Mercedes spent a lot of her time at home writing and reading. She agreed that she didn't see a future for them either and wanted to focus on her studies, her budding author career, and finding someone a little more well suited for her. They didn’t keep in touch after they broke up, but two months later, she came to the ranch to tell him that she was pregnant with his child.”
I gasp, “Oh, no…”
“Wilder had moved on, and he certainly wasn’t in love with her or had any desire to marry her, but he decided to step up any way and moved out of my parents’ house at just twenty-years-old.
He got an apartment in town and moved her in with him so that he could take care of her and the baby once she was born.
He provided for them through her entire pregnancy and loved her in his own unique way.
Willow was born on October 1, at 10:01 a.m. and Wilder was thrilled.
She looked just like our mom, Jovie. Brown hair, big, bright green eyes, and the cutest pudgy nose.
Mercedes seemed to be accepting of her new role as a mother and was adjusting to life with Willow.
She decided to get back to taking college courses after two weeks post-partum and they fell into their new routine as a family of three. ”
He clears his throat before continuing and I can tell this next part isn’t going to be good.
“One morning, while I was away at school, Wilder woke up at his usual five o’clock in the morning to go to the ranch to work with my dad.
He said that Mercedes was already awake when he got up that morning.
Normally, she’d get up around that time to nurse Willow, but this morning Willow wasn’t awake and was sound asleep next to her in the bassinet.
Wilder showered, got dressed and went to kiss Mercedes and Willow goodbye but before he did, she turned to him and said the words, ‘Don’t go. ’”
I draw in a breath.
“Mercedes was always quieter, and she’d retreated into herself even more so once Willow was born but Wilder hadn't thought much of her comment. He told her he had to. That his dad was depending on him to be there for work that day, and it was a big day for fall cleaning to prepare the facilities for the winter. She seemed to understand so he kissed her goodbye and left. All day he said something felt off at work like a dark cloud he couldn’t shake, so instead of working until his usual six in the evening, he came home at noon to check-in and found Willow alone in her bassinet crying.
By the time he found Mercedes in the bathtub, she had already passed away”
“Oh God, no,” I cry, my hand covering my mouth as my mind flashes to the beautiful little girl I’d just met who lost her mother in such tragic circumstances.
“Wilder grabbed Willow and left. He never went back to their apartment. My mom and dad came back to clean out the home after the police and EMTs removed Mercedes’s body.
Willow has lived with my parents on Ashwood ranch ever since and hasn’t known anything different.
My parents, Nash and Jovie always wanted a daughter but got stuck with two twin boys, so Willow runs the household,” he chuckles fondly.
“After Mercedes passed, Wilder just went inward and closed himself off to the world much like Mercedes had. In one of the boxes they removed from the apartment, they found a diary she’d written where she’d detailed that she’d been cheating on Wilder her entire pregnancy.
At the time that she found out about Willow, she’d been struggling with what she wanted to do next in life.
She’d had doubts about continuing her studies in education, was still grappling with past unhealed wounds, and was even considering leaving Texas and moving to the west coast. She’d expressed in her writing that she’d blamed Wilder for taking those choices from her by getting her pregnant at a time in her life when she’d felt like she’d finally had freedom to leave her parents and past behind. ”
“Oh, no. That's terrible.” I shake my head, trying to wrap my mind around the debt of the loss that Wilder and Willow have experienced, and the heartache Mercedes must have felt.
“Not only did he lose her, the mother for his daughter, but to find out that she hadn’t been faithful either had to have been so incredibly painful for him to navigate. "
Cody nods. “Wilder never faulted Mercedes for cheating but he still took it to heart that he felt like he was the cause of her losing her dreams and freedom. One day he said to me that ‘people talk too much. When they say something, there should be meaning behind it.’ He felt that because Mercedes was usually noticeably quiet, he should have seen the deeper meaning behind her words when she asked him to stay that fateful day, and he should have realized she was cheating on him. He’d been so wrapped up in the ranch, and trying to figure out how to provide for this new baby they had that he hadn’t noticed the ways she’d been slipping away. "
Finally, Wilder's reserved nature, hesitation to open up about anything personal in his life, and slowness to speak make a lot more sense.
"Is... Is Willow his?" I ask, dreading the response.
Cody nods. "After he found out about the cheating, he had a paternity test to confirm, and it came back positive for a match. The man she was cheating with was a guy who got around our town with different women. He wouldn’t have wanted anything long term with her anyways, and she didn’t either based on how she’d written her diary.
The entries read like she was looking to hurt Wilder intentionally as a protective mechanism.
Push him away before he could hurt her and punish him for getting her accidentally pregnant. ”
I swallow and nod.
“Look, whatever Wilder said when he saw you with Willow, I’m sure it was a reflex.
Wilder doesn’t let anyone meet her. He rarely takes her anywhere, too.
He’s very protective of who is in her life and knows about her on account of him not wanting anyone saying anything to her about her mother.
But the fact that he brought you to the ranch should speak volumes.
He cares about you, Teagan. Not sure if this was always going to be just a weekend fling between the two of you, but I don’t want you to start doubting his feelings. ”
“I didn’t know that she was his daughter,” I mutter, staring out the passenger window as Cody drives. “I didn’t mean to meet her like that. I was just looking for coffee, and she showed up in the kitchen and asked me to read her a book.”
“Yeah, I got that,” Cody replies, his tone calm as he keeps his eyes on the road. “Let him cool off. I bet he’ll come around with an apology.”
I don’t believe that for a second. I saw the look in his eyes—pain buried so deep it’s a wonder he hasn’t crumbled under the weight of everything he’s experienced.
I can’t imagine him apologizing. He might move past this eventually, but the real question is…
do we even have a future now given the past he’s had?
“I just wish this wasn’t how things ended,” I admit, my voice catching. “I mean, I knew it had to, with me leaving for school, but I didn’t expect it to end like this. I didn’t expect to feel so…” I trail off, searching for the right word. “Sad.”
Cody shoots me a lopsided grin, the kind that’s both comforting and a little too honest. “You ever heard the saying, ‘right person, wrong time?’ Look, y’all might be right for each other, but Wilder’s still carrying a lot of fresh pain.
He needs time to heal before he can really let someone in again. ”
I swallow hard, his words hitting me right in the chest. He’s not wrong. I can’t compete with a ghost. And honestly, I shouldn’t have to.
We’re twenty-two years old. I’m about to start four intense years of veterinarian school.
I’ve worked too damn hard and sacrificed too much to let myself get derailed by a guy—especially one who lives over three hours away, is raising a two-year-old, and grieving the loss of a cheating ex-girlfriend who also happens to be his daughter’s mom.
To be fair, we both have wounds from our pasts that we haven’t addressed.
Cody’s right, this isn’t the right time for either of us.
It’s just… too much. For him. For me. For whatever we were trying to be.
Cody pulls into Ryder’s driveway and slows to a stop.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, Teagan,” he says, clearing his throat like he’s not sure what else to say.
“Wilder’s a great guy—the best I know. If it’s meant to be, y’all will find a way.
But sometimes the timing just sucks. For what it’s worth,” he says, his tone softer now, “Wilder hasn’t smiled like that in years.
Whatever happens, you made an impact. Don’t forget that. ”
I force a smile, my heart aching even as I nod. “Thanks for the ride, Cody. And good luck in Atlanta this season.”
I grab the door handle, jumping out of the truck, but before I can make it to the house, Cody rolls down the window and calls out, “Hey Teagan!”
“Yeah?”
“You might not want to mention to your sister’s fiancé who you were with last night.”
My brows drop. What?
He rolls his window up without another word and then backs out of the driveway, heading back to Ashwood ranch with no further explanation.