45. Jansen
CHAPTER 45
JANSEN
I ’m exhausted that night at dinner, and of course, Ana notices.
“Rough day?” Her eyes are soft as she covers my hand with hers and gives it a gentle squeeze.
“My parents are more tiring than a ten-mile hike.”
She smiles sympathetically at that and twines her fingers with mine. “I was surprised that you called me in to introduce me.”
It seemed like the right thing to do, and despite their limited role in my life, I still want them to meet people who are important to me. All I say to Ana is, “I just thought you should meet them.”
“They definitely help me understand you,” she says, and inwardly, I cringe.
Obviously, they’ve impacted me through both nature and nurture—or lack thereof—but I hope I’ll be a more tolerant parent than they are .
“Compared to the two of them, you’re a fuzzy ball of happiness,” she says, and I have to laugh, even if it’s a bitter sound. “Were they always so hard on you?”
Derek shoots me a supportive look; he’s heard all this before. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. My grades always had to be perfect. I was expected to excel at sports and hobbies. Nothing I did ever seemed good enough.”
“That’s so unfair, and I hate that they’re so disapproving of you, because you’ve accomplished amazing things. I meant what I said to them. You should be so proud—both of you.” She looks at both Derek and me as she talks. “Your business helps so many people—not just by providing employment, but also through the charities you support, and by helping to improve the lives of people growing coffee.”
I imagine my heart as a balloon, her words inflating it from a shriveled form into its proper shape. It could take flight with the way she makes me feel, and it’s something I’ve never experienced before—with anyone.
She’s so different from my family in all the best ways. She’s warm, open, caring, and infinitely supportive. She’s shelter from the real world—or rather, she is what’s real, and I want to make her my world.