51. Ana
CHAPTER 51
ANA
A bruptly quitting your job in the morning makes for a long, miserable day.
Marissa’s at work, so I don’t want to bother her. Stella has her own problems, and doesn’t need to hear my nonsense. Callie’s probably working, but even if she isn’t, I don’t want to dampen her bliss with my tale of woe—or maybe I don’t want to compare her happy relationship to my ill-advised affair with two unreasonable, emotionally-stunted tyrants.
I’m so angry at them I can’t see straight.
If they had behaved this way with me months ago, it wouldn’t have surprised me, but I got to know them so much better—or at least, I thought I did. Maybe I’ve been wearing rose-colored glasses, or I’ve been in a sex haze.
Maybe they never stopped being the men they were when all those other employees were quitting left and right.
I’m angry at myself for ever expecting anything different from them.
After I clean everything in the townhouse until it’s gleaming, I try to read, even though I know I won’t be able to focus. You know it’s a bad day when I can’t get lost in a reverse harem with ten men. Right now, that feels like ten men too many, and I’m kind of mad at romance books in general for making me think grumpy men were desirable.
By mid-afternoon, I’m desperate for a diversion and decide to call Stella anyway, just to find out how she’s doing. I won’t talk about myself, and I’m sure hearing cute stories about Jessie at dance class will cheer me up.
I purposely left my phone in my bag, and when I retrieve it, I find two missed calls each from Derek and Jansen. There are text messages too, but I ignore them and click Stella’s picture.
As soon as she answers my call, I know something’s wrong.
“Stella? Are you crying?”
“Ana? Now isn’t a good time to talk.” Her voice is shaky, and I go into panic mode.
“I won’t keep you long, but please tell me what’s wrong.”
She sniffles a couple of times before speaking again. “Things have kind of fallen apart here. Mom’s kicked me out.”
“What? When did this happen?”
“Just today. I’m right in the middle of it. That’s why I need to go.”
“Wait! What are you going to do? Where are you and Jessie going to go?”
The tears she’d been holding back overtake her, and through them, she cries, “I don’t know.”
Even though nothing today has felt like it in the least, once again, the universe is working in my favor. I doubt Stella had any intention of calling Marissa and me for help, so I’m very grateful that I happened to call her. And thanks to the fact that I no longer have a job, my schedule is clear.
“I can come and get you! You two can come and stay with us.”
“Oh! Are you sure? I don’t want to be an inconvenience.”
“Friends aren’t inconveniences, Stella. Ever. I can be there in about four hours. Will you be okay until then?”
“We’ll be okay. We’ll probably leave and wait for you somewhere else. I’ll text you the location.”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll see you very soon!” I hate that this is happening to my friend, but I’m excited to see her and Jessie; it’s been too long.
As I throw together an overnight bag, my phone rings repeatedly. I check it each time, in case it’s Stella, but it’s Derek and Jansen. I don’t want to block them, but each ring makes me worry that something’s gone even more wrong for my friend.
The next time it rings, I take the call. “Derek? I don’t want to talk right now, but I need my phone for an emergency, so please stop calling.”
“An emergency? What’s going on?”
“My friend Stella is having a crisis. I’m going to go get her. Assuming you’re calling to apologize, we can talk when I’m back in town.”
“A crisis? What’s wrong? Stella’s the one with the young daughter, right?”
I’d forgotten I’d told them about Stella, and I’m surprised he remembers. “Yeah, I don’t know what’s going on, but her mother’s kicked them out of her house, so I’m going to bring them to live here.”
“We’ll go with you.”
I’d been half focused on selecting a shirt to pack, so it takes a moment for what he’s said to register. “What?”
“Jansen and I will go with you, in case there’s trouble.”
“There’s no reason for you to do that.”
“You told us her parents had a drinking problem. What if someone gets violent?”
“I probably won’t even see her parents. She said she’ll probably meet me somewhere else. ”
“I’d rather not take that chance, Ana. Does your friend have her own car?”
“Yes…”
“Then we’ll drive you to her, and you can ride back with her and her daughter.”
I can tell he’s not going to let this go, and that’s irritating, but it would actually be nice to be able to ride back with Stella and Jessie. “I need to leave here immediately. She’s nearly four hours away.”
“Text me your address. We’ll be right there.”
As soon as I click off the call, I realize this arrangement means I’ll need to spend several hours in a small enclosed space with two men I don’t even want to see right now.
But I have more important things to worry about, so for the time being, I’m going to set everything else aside. I finish packing my things, and am shocked when the doorbell rings only a few minutes after I’m done.
Both Derek and Jansen are standing on my porch.
“Thanks for coming so quickly.” Rather than inviting them in, I step out, my bag slung over my shoulder.
“Are you staying overnight?” Derek asks.
“We didn’t make plans. I thought I’d come prepared, since it’s a long drive.”
Jansen slips the bag from my shoulder to carry it himself, and even though I don’t need the help, I let him, because I’m tired of arguing with them today.
“I appreciate your offer to drive me upstate, but I don’t want to talk about anything we discussed earlier today. I’m worried about my friend, and that’s about all my brain can handle right now.”
“As you wish.” Derek opens both the passenger and back doors on his car. Where would you like to sit?”
“I’ll take the back. Thank you.” Of course, it’s comfortable and luxurious in the backseat, even for a sports car. I lean against the headrest and close my eyes as Derek drives out of my neighborhood. One of them puts soothing jazz on, and I’m very grateful to them for respecting my wishes and allowing me to ride in peace.
Derek makes good time. His car has better pickup than mine, and he drives faster than I would have, though not fast enough to make me nervous. As darkness falls, I text Marissa and fill her in on everything that’s happening with Stella. Meanwhile, Stella calls to tell me that she and Jessie are occupying themselves at a bookstore that’s open until nine, and asks me to meet them there.
Derek and Jansen are quiet the whole way, except to check on my comfort and ask if I’d like to stop for food or a bathroom break. For my part, I try not to notice how good they both smell, and I try not to remember how they taste as good as they smell.
I think back to this morning, which feels like a lifetime ago, and remember how I was planning to confess that I was falling for them and talk about whether we might have a future together. The whole idea is so sad and painful now.
I don’t want a relationship with men who think they can control me, but the realization that I may never feel their hands on me again makes me ache.
They treated me terribly today, and yet, I still care about them. I definitely let myself get in too deep, and I’m not sure how I could have prevented it.