Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
JACI
Five days had passed since I’d been with Rafe. No, not been with, world rocked by.
It had been too long and yet not long enough for me to figure my feelings out for him. What had I expected? I’d gone over there knowing that it wouldn’t lead to anything permanent. And that he’d be leaving soon.
I made good use of the time, channeling my energy into replenishing my inventory.
Simon helped me sort out the latest shipment of supplies after school and then would plead with me to let him go visit Duchess.
I’d tried to get him to wait until after his homework was done, but my child proudly announced he’d already finished in class.
Smart kid who was only getting smarter, especially at persuading me to spend more time at Rafe’s house.
His father really hadn’t been the type to do more than the bare minimum with our son. I could see that now. But was allowing him to spend more time with a man who would leave soon the right decision on my part? Or was I simply envious?
Tonight was Becca’s turn to make dinner, and she opted for pizza.
“Do you want to go over and get Simon for dinner, or should I?” She’d asked me the same question every night this week, and each time I answered in the same way.
A coward’s response for sure, but I was afraid if I saw Rafe again, he’d read the longing in my gaze and that wasn’t our agreement.
“Um, do you mind? I’m almost finished with this piece. But, I’ll take care of cleaning up after dinner.” Keeping my eyes on the necklace I was working on, I felt her staring at me. “What?”
“You know what. I’m just waiting for you to admit what’s going on.
” She’d changed into a light blue athlesuire outfit after she got home, and the difference always struck me from the buttoned-up base commander that had left in the morning.
To me she was just Becca, but to hundreds of airmen and officers she was the boss you didn’t disappoint.
I’d heard the rumors since moving to Pine Valley, and instead of being defensive over her reputation, I couldn’t have been prouder.
Now I was the focus of her legendary and intimidating stare. Sighing, I gave in and put down my chain nose pliers, and removed my safety glasses. “Okay, what is up? You have that look on your face like Mom did when we were kids and came in with mud on our shoes.”
“She was fierce that day, wasn’t she? Look, I think I know why you’re avoiding going over to Rafe’s, and I’m just concerned that you might mess up a good thing here.
” Becca sounded just like she was talking to one of her subordinates.
She sometimes took calls in her home office after hours, and if I was anywhere near that room, it was easy to overhear her.
She could definitely be a badass when needed.
That was so not what I expected to hear from her. If anything, I would have thought she’d be warning me off the major considering his reputation and that he was moving to another state soon.
“Wait, what is it you’ve been thinking?” I switched off the gooseneck magnifying lamp I used for the finishing work and moved it out of the way. I turned to fully face her, and that’s when I noticed how concerned she looked.
“Well, my best guess is that something between you and Rafe happened, and now you’re both avoiding each other because neither one of you is ready to admit there are real feelings under all that sexual tension. Am I close?” Becca’s tone had gentled, and she was back to being just my sister.
Not sure if I trusted myself to speak without getting choked up, I nodded.
I’d been holding my emotions in check for five days, afraid to admit to myself what these crazy feelings were.
It had been so hard with Simon constantly talking about Rafe and Duchess that I was bound to finally burst. Just didn’t think it would be in front of my sister.
She grabbed some tissues and handed me one. “Jeez, I don’t know where that came from.” I mopped my face and eyes. “Thanks.”
She gave me a hug, then said, “Of course. Can you talk about it?”
“Sure. Maybe you can help me make sense of things. Not that I expect anything to change, but it’d be nice to finally talk about it. And yes, you’re right in thinking something between me and Rafe happened. We slept together. A few nights ago, when Simon had that sleepover.”
I waited for her reaction or maybe a lecture, but all she did was give me an understanding smile.
“Okay, so it was great, of course. I mean, you’ve seen him, but I also told him I knew it was just a one-night thing.
I mean the attraction between us, intense, right?
But that’s all it was. We’re in two different phases of our lives.
He’s starting this new thing in Idaho; I’m coming off an awful marriage and divorce.
I have a kid. He’s only had a dog. Two different worlds, right? ”
“You keep saying ‘right' like you think I’ve already agreed with you, but here’s a shocker, I don’t.
Maybe what I told you about me and Ben didn’t sink in, or you thought the same thing couldn’t happen to you, but, my dear sister, I think it has.
And from the reports I’ve been hearing from Rafe’s men, he’s been even more of a bear at work.
So, there’s a better than good chance that he’s not as opposed to being with you, long-term, as you think he is. ”
She was right. I was shaken by her opinion.
And maybe, I needed to be the one to take the risk of being disappointed and let Rafe know how I really felt about him, about us.
After all, didn’t I, not that many days ago, say I was ready to put myself back out there?
I still believed in love, that I could have another relationship, and craved it in fact. So why not with Rafe?
There were still a few days left before his planned move. All I needed to do now was figure out a good time to approach him since Simon was determined to spend all his free time over there.