Chapter Fourteen Odette #2
“For me? Thank you.”
“It’s no big deal.” He shrugs, sipping on his drink. “Want to take a walk?”
He . . . wants to hang out? I don’t know why that surprised me, but it does.
“Sure,” I agree. “Let’s walk.”
We keep a respectable distance between us as we walk to the town park.
There are kids scattered all over the place, parents watching them all intently. Walkers and joggers every hundred feet or so, and even a few cyclists are taking up the lanes.
I don’t miss how Noah picks the least populated one, leading us toward the back of the park that butts up to the woods.
I don’t mind, though. This has always been my favorite section. I like to think of a beautiful garden back here as a hidden treasure.
Once we’re far enough away from prying eyes and ears and all the commotion, we settle onto a bench.
I sip on my coffee as Noah opens his to-go bag.
“Can cats have pancakes?”
I laugh when I see that Pork has popped his head out of Noah’s jacket pocket again. “I’m pretty sure that’s a no. Here, let me take him.”
I reach into the pocket, and the kitten comes to me easily. Pork settles on my lap, flicking his tail back and forth as he takes in the outside world while Noah works on eating his breakfast.
Kids scream with delight in the distance, rounds of laughter echo off the trees, and birds chirp nearby.
It’s a beautiful morning, and it would be even prettier if I knew what the hell it is we’re doing.
“Is this weird?” I ask after several quiet moments, because I can’t stand the silence any longer.
He tips his head left, then right, like he’s weighing his answer before saying it out loud.
Finally, he says, “No. Is that bad?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.”
He shovels another bite of pancake into his mouth, a bit of syrup clinging to his lips.
Before I can even think about it, I reach over and wipe it off with my thumb, then suck the digit right between my lips.
Noah watches my every move, his nostrils flaring, eyes darkening.
Then he’s kissing me.
I have no idea where it comes from or why it comes, but it’s happening, and I’m kissing him back. In public. With all my aunts and grandmother and mother just a few blocks away. Where anyone can catch us.
Just as quickly as it begins, it’s over, and Noah’s back to eating his breakfast like nothing happened. Like I don’t now taste like sticky-sweet syrup and vanilla pancakes, just like he does.
I touch my lips, trying to relieve the tingle I feel. “What was that for?”
He lifts a shoulder. “Wanted to.”
And that’s all he says.
We sit in silence as he finishes his breakfast. When he returns from tossing it in the trash, he plops down next to me, taking Pork from my hands.
The kitten snuggles against his chest, and I have to squeeze my legs together for the second time today.
“What happened last night?” The words burst out of me, almost like they’ve been begging to come out all morning.
“We had sex.”
I huff out a laugh. “Yes, I am well aware of that, Noah.”
He swallows hard, and I wonder if he’s recalling his words from last night.
I’m going to make sure you know I was inside you for days to come.
I’m going to know, that’s for sure.
“I guess I meant, where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know.” He drags a hand through hair that felt so good between my fingers last night and squints up at the sun. “I won’t lie and say I never want it to happen again.”
His honesty is refreshing, and something I didn’t quite expect.
“It shouldn’t.”
Another honest statement.
“But I really fucking want it to.” He looks at me. “I’m not a forever kind of guy, though. I’ve been married before and don’t want to do that again.”
“I’m not looking for marriage either.”
He lifts his brows. “That’s a bold statement for a woman who plans weddings.”
I shrug. “I gave up on that dream a long time ago.”
“Let me guess—the curse?”
“The curse,” I confirm.
He looks like he wants to tell me it’s bullshit again, but he doesn’t, and maybe that’s because it works in his favor. Maybe because he’s hiding behind it, too, because he wants this as badly as I do, and this is the only way to protect ourselves.
“We can’t tell Izzy.”
That knot that’s been sitting in my stomach all morning grows just at the mention of her, and I find myself nodding. “I know.”
“Then okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah.” He nods, then gives me a devilishly handsome grin, one that says he’s definitely up to no good. “Want to come over again tonight?”
I can’t help but laugh at his eagerness.
“I think I can swing that.”
Me: do u like wine??
Noah: I own a cidery.
Me: so????
Me: i’m trying to woo you with booze!
Noah: I really just want you naked in my bed. No wooing needed.
I swallow thickly, then type a quick response.
Me: understood
I pocket my phone and grab a bottle of my favorite wine, just in case.
I’m heading over to Noah’s, and for some reason I don’t want to show up empty-handed, so I’ve been walking around the grocery store with a basket full of snacks for the last fifteen minutes, trying to talk myself into checking out.
I’m sure the guy behind the counter thinks I’m lost or something, but I don’t care. I’m nervous. It’s silly considering we’ve already done this before, but that was unplanned. That was a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing. This is definitely planned.
I’m having sex with Noah again, and I can’t fucking wait.
It’s terrible of me, especially since I spent the day planning his sister’s wedding, the very sister I’m hiding this from, but still.
I’ve been looking forward to this since he walked me back to my car this morning, leaving me with a hand squeeze and a look in his eyes that told me he was just as excited about it as I am.
Gosh, I’ve really gotten myself into it, haven’t I?
“Odette!”
The bottle of Riesling I’m holding slips right out of my hands.
I’m lucky enough to catch it just before it crashes to the floor.
“Phew. That was close,” Lydia Stevens says with a laugh. “What are you doing out this late, dear?”
I brush my hair out of my face, tucking the bottle into the basket before I do something truly embarrassing like drop it again, and will myself not to turn red.
“You know how it is with us ladies. Once a month, we just feel like eating all the junk food and drinking the entire wine aisle.”
I toss her a wink, and she laughs.
“Oh, boy. Don’t I know it? Brian’s grabbing us some ice cream, then we’ll go home, pop open a bottle of wine ourselves, and likely fall asleep on the couch while the movie we’ve spent twenty minutes picking out plays in the background.
When you’ve been married as long as we have, that’s what your date nights look like. ”
It sounds like a great night to me. Like the kind of night I would want to have if I were married.
That same feeling I always get when I think about marriage runs through me. It’s a mix of sadness and acceptance and I don’t even know what else. Longing maybe? I can’t decide.
I wasn’t lying to Noah earlier when I said I gave up on my dream of marriage. I have. But sometimes . . . very seldomly . . . I dream of it.
I guess now is one of those times.
“Listen, I won’t keep you, dear. I just wanted to say hello and tell you I love all the work you’ve been doing at the cidery with Noah. He needs someone in his life like you.”
“Like me?”
“Yeah, someone cheery. Someone hopeful. I like Ezra, but that boy is all grump and numbers, and that’s it. Noah needs someone in his life, especially after the divorce. I worry about him being alone for too long, you know?”
Oh, if she only knew how alone he wasn’t.
She shakes her head. “Anyway. I’ll let you get back to your night and go find Brian before he buys the entire ice cream aisle.”
She gives me a quick hug, then hurries away to find her husband.
He catches her at the end of the lane, swooping her into his arms. She giggles loudly as he nuzzles his face into her neck.
They look like teenagers, so happy and carefree. So in love.
That same ache as before hits me, but I push it aside.
No time for aching now. I have somewhere to be.