Chapter Twenty Odette #2
But this is starting to feel like Brokeback Mountain more and more every day, except we aren’t gay cowboys.
I just can’t quit him.
My thoughts drift back to the bar last night, and I don’t just mean the mind-blowing sex we had.
No, it was when he said I’m already a wreck for you.
And dammit if I’m not already a wreck for him too.
I don’t know when it happened exactly. Was it the night we first kissed in the barn? Was it when I saw he kept the cat? Or was it when he sat down at breakfast with my mom, Nonna, and all my aunts and cousins and waded through their parade of questions like it was nothing?
I have no idea. I just know that for the first time since I started planning this wedding, I’m not looking forward to it, because it means this thing between us will end.
And I really don’t want it to.
“Odette?”
“Hmm?” I shake my head. “Yeah, no, sorry. I’m fine. I . . . I hear you, I do. Nonna said something similar recently too.”
“Ahh.” She nods. “I take it that’s what led your mother to finally ask Ken out?”
“Yep, that’s the reason why.”
My mother has had a not-so-subtle crush on the baker/widower for years now, and she’s never done anything about it. Not just because Ken has always had a look of sadness in his eyes, but because my mother is just as fearful of the curse as I am.
I guess what Nonna said the other day really got through to her, though.
It got through to me, too, but it doesn’t mean I’m not still scared. I am. I am absolutely terrified of giving in to something real. Something lasting.
Besides, I’m not completely out of the woods yet with my business or this wedding. We still have to get through next week, and then maybe I’ll reevaluate where my love life is at.
“Okay, please tell me my sweet little baby isn’t so spoiled that she has to have a separate bowl for her breakfast, dinner, and water.”
My eyes go to where she points at Beans’s feeding mat.
Shit. I forgot to pick up the extra bowl I had set out for Pork.
I don’t want to lie to her. I’m tired of lying to her. But Noah and I agreed to wait until after the wedding to say anything, if we even have to say anything at all.
“Oh, that’s Pork’s.”
“Pork? As in my brother’s kitten Pork?”
“Yep. I, uh, I watched him the other day for Noah.”
It’s not a complete lie. I did watch him while Noah was in the shower after we’d just gotten done with yet another sex marathon.
But that’s beside the point. He was here, and I watched him. I’m leaving it at that.
“Oh. I didn’t realize you were ‘watching each other’s pets’ kind of close.”
I shrug. “It’s no big deal.”
Crap. I even sound like Noah now.
Izzy purses her lips but doesn’t push the issue any further, and I’m thankful for that because I don’t know how much longer I can hold this secret inside.
If I had a sibling and they were seeing Izzy behind my back, I would be devastated by that. Not over the fact that they were seeing each other—I think that would be great—but because she felt like she couldn’t come to me about it.
Then again, Noah and I aren’t really seeing each other. It’s just fun.
I hate that I have to keep reminding myself of that, and it really should be an indication that this thing has gotten way more out of hand than we ever intended it to, but I really don’t have the time to evaluate that.
“How’s Craig doing?” I ask, trying to divert her attention.
For the first time tonight, Izzy looks unsure.
“Is everything okay?”
She nods. “Oh, yeah. Everything is great. It’s just . . . we haven’t really talked about it a lot. Is that weird?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think that’s weird. I mean, you know you’re getting married still . . . right?”
She doesn’t answer right away, and my stomach sinks.
Oh no, please, please, please don’t let anything be wrong. Please let them go through with this wedding. I need this so badly.
I met with Darla’s daughter, whom my mother gave my contact information to, yesterday, and we hit it off immediately.
Our visions lined up perfectly, but just like so many other brides, she wants to wait a few weeks to make her decision.
I like to think it’s just her doing her due diligence, but I know it’s because she’s waiting to see how Izzy’s wedding goes.
It’s just another reason I need this wedding to go off without a hitch.
“Right!” Izzy says cheerfully, shaking away . . . I don’t even know what. Doubts? Worries? “Of course, it’s still happening. I love Craig, and Craig loves me. We’re getting married next week. Don’t you worry about a thing.”
I breathe a sigh of relief, but I can’t help but notice that the tension in Izzy’s shoulders isn’t completely gone, and I really wonder if this whole them not talking about a thing is bothering her more than she’s letting on.
“Anyway, enough about me. We’ve been talking about my wedding for weeks, and now I want to discuss the fact that you still don’t have a date for it.”
“That’s still talking about your wedding.”
“Shit. I guess you’re right.” She laughs. “Okay, let’s pretend it’s not my wedding. Let’s just pretend it’s a wedding. I still think you’d have much more fun if you came with a date.”
I sigh. “Iz, seriously. I love you for being worried about me. I am not going to have time to entertain a date. I’m going to be worried about making sure everything goes perfectly for your big day.”
“And while I love you for that, I trust you implicitly with this. The wedding is going to be incredible. There will be no hitches. There will be no problems. It is going to be flawless. It is going to save your reputation. I have complete faith in you, and you just need to have a little faith in you, too, and let loose for a change.”
If only she knew how loose I’ve been letting myself get with her brother.
“I’m telling you, just go with Noah.”
The spatula I’m using to stir the sauce falls right into the pan, completely coating it with marinara.
“Crap,” I mutter, fishing it out and tossing it into the sink.
All the while, Izzy laughs beside me, and I shoot her a dirty look.
“What? Sorry. It’s just so funny how you still get flustered anytime I bring him up. I swear you’d think you were still crushing on the guy with a reaction like that.”
“I’m not,” I rush out quickly as I rinse off the spoon. “I am absolutely not crushing on your brother, Izzy.”
She holds her hands up. “Okay, okay. I get it. You’re not crushing on Noah.
Understood. But it’s also why I think he makes a great date for the wedding.
There’s no obligation to go home with him at the end of the night, you don’t have to kiss him—blech—and you barely have to dance with him because, honestly, he sucks at it. But you wouldn’t be alone.”
“I won’t be alone anyway. Practically the whole town is going to be there.”
“True, but we both know not being alone and having a date are two totally different things.”
She’s right. It is two different things, but still. I’ll be fine. It’s just one night. Like breakfast with my family and dinner with his. We will be fine spending one night apart and pretending we aren’t sleeping together.
“Can you please just drop it?” I ask, returning to my spot at the stove. The sauce is fickle, and it’s already starting to stick to the bottom of the pan a little bit, but I think everything will be okay. “I just really want to focus on the wedding, all right?”
“Fine,” Izzy says. “Consider it dropped. But I am finding you someone to dance with at the very least.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes, especially since I know this is as close as Izzy’s going to get to dropping this topic. “Fine. Whatever. But just one dance and nobody handsy.”
She grins, looking entirely too pleased with our deal.
I already regret it.