Chapter Twenty-Three Noah
Chapter Twenty-Three
Noah
My knuckles are killing me, but I wouldn’t take a single one of my punches from yesterday back. Craig had it and more coming. He’s lucky he can even walk after what I witnessed. It took everything I had to stop swinging on him and not go back and finish the job after the girls left.
I squeeze the glass in my hand just thinking about it. I can’t believe that fuckwad. I can’t believe he would hurt my sister like that. I thought he was a good guy and would make Izzy happy. I was wrong. So fucking wrong.
The cidery should be buzzing with people today to set up for the wedding, but instead it’s empty. The lights are dimmed to almost nothing, and I’m sitting at the bar at nine in the morning with a pint of Glove Save in my hands.
I told myself it was just so I could rest my knuckles against the cool glass, but that’s a lie. It’s because I’m fucking sad.
I’m sad for Izzy, for my parents, and for them not getting to watch their daughter walk down the aisle today. I’m sad for the town that was looking forward to this, and I’m sad for Odette.
I’m also sad because of Odette.
It about killed me yesterday when she pulled away from me. The last time I felt that bad was when I realized I was giving up hockey for good.
But hanging up my skates pales in comparison to how I feel right now—Odette-less.
She was never truly mine in the first place, but she damn sure felt like it.
She felt like it in the nights we spent together and the soft smile she sent me when nobody else was looking.
She felt like it when she whispered my name into my ear anytime I made her feel good.
She felt like mine with every confession uttered into a darkened room and every shared laugh over a bad joke.
She just felt like mine, and I still want her to be.
The worst part is that I understand the complete look of dejection on her face when she pulled away from me.
I know why she shut me out. Everything she had worked toward for the last ten weeks blew up in her face.
It was already supposed to be her last chance.
I can’t imagine what that felt like for her.
But can’t she see I want to be there despite all that? Can’t she see I don’t give a shit about some curse? That I’m not afraid of it? And that all I want is to be with her?
I should have told her that and not let her walk away. I shouldn’t have agreed it was just fun or participated in her game of downplaying what was happening between us.
I should have stood up and told my truth.
But I didn’t.
And so here I am.
I lift the pint of Glove Save to my lips, taking way too big of a drink for it being so early.
“I thought I might find you here.”
I turn to find Izzy strolling through the doors of Stick Taps. I didn’t even hear her open them, so lost in my own thoughts.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as she strides across the bar.
Her eyes are puffy, and she looks like she slept for maybe a total of forty minutes. She looks terrible, which is kind of ironic given that she was supposed to look like a princess later this afternoon.
“Morning to you, too, Bubs.”
She settles on the stool next to me, laying her head on my shoulder with an exhausted sigh. I press my lips to her forehead. We’re not usually the touchy-feely kind of siblings, but today it feels warranted.
“Men are awful.”
I laugh, taking another drink of my cider. “I can agree with that.”
“I don’t just mean because of . . .” She doesn’t say his name. She doesn’t have to. “You’re included in that statement as well.”
“Me? What did I do?”
“Odette.”
Just hearing her name sends a burst of need through me. Fuck, I miss her so much, and it’s only been hours since I saw her last.
I don’t let Izzy know about those feelings, though. It’s not like it matters anymore anyway. “What do you mean?”
She pulls away, giving me a pointed look. “You know exactly what I mean, Noah.”
“I truly don’t,” I say casually, lifting the pint back to my lips.
Izzy punches my arm.
“Hey! What the hell was that for?”
“Because I know something happened between you and Odette, you big ass.”
I sigh. “Come on, Iz. You’re imagining shit. There’s nothing— Ow! Stop hitting me, dammit!”
“Then stop lying to me. I’ve been lied to enough over the last five years, don’t you think?”
I wince. Fuck. She had to pull that card, didn’t she?
“How long?” she asks.
She doesn’t need to elaborate. I know exactly what she’s asking—how long have we been sneaking around?
“You remember that storm that rolled through earlier this summer?”
“How could I forget? I lost power and all the ice cream in my freezer because someone doesn’t allow me access to the cidery generator.” She pouts momentarily, then narrows her eyes at me. “So, since then?”
I nod. “Since then.”
I take another drink of my cider, letting that sink in for her.
It’s too long to be hiding that from her, that’s for damn sure, especially after learning that her fiancé has been hiding a whole hell of a lot from her too.
I dare a peek over at her. She’s staring intently at the bar—the same one I had Odette screaming my name on top of just a week ago.
“Are you mad?” I ask.
“I mean . . . I don’t know. It’s gross, for one. You’re my brother, and she’s my best friend, which means she’s like my sister. So that’s a little strange, but I don’t think I’m mad.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Relief washes over me. Thank fuck. It was the one thing I was worried about the entire time. I didn’t want Izzy to hate me for falling for her best friend. I didn’t want to risk our relationship.
“How’d you know?” I ask after a few quiet moments.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I had my suspicions for a while.”
“You have?”
“You two aren’t as sneaky as you think you are.”
Sure, we had a few moments where we slipped up, but I didn’t think anybody had noticed, let alone Izzy. She was so busy with her wedding that I didn’t think Odette and I were even on her radar.
Apparently I was wrong.
“I didn’t catch you in the act or anything, which would’ve been absolutely disgusting, by the way.”
“For me too.”
“It was so many other little things that clued me in,” she continues.
“For starters, you can never seem to take your eyes off her or her you. You constantly seek the other out for silent affirmation. Then there were the excuses to be together. To work together. The fact that she was ‘babysitting’ your cat for you. And, of course, your beloved gray flannel hanging up next to her door.”
Shit. I was wondering where that had gone.
I really thought we were doing something right by sneaking around so we weren’t making a big deal of it before the wedding, but I guess it was all for no reason if Izzy and Ezra caught on so quickly.
“Which brings me to why I am here.” She punches me again.
“Ow!” I rub at the spot. For someone so small, she sure hits hard. “What the hell?”
“That’s what I want to know. What happened between you two yesterday? She’s been quiet and distant all night, and I know it’s not just because she’s walking on eggshells around me because of what happened. It’s more than that. So, what did you do?”
“Me? I didn’t do a damn thing.”
And that’s kind of the problem. I didn’t do anything. I just stood there and nodded, and I went along with whatever she said, even though everything inside me was screaming, Tell her you love her.
I didn’t, and now it’s too late.
“I did nothing,” I whisper.
“Why the hell not? You know Odette. You know how she feels about the curse. You know that that woman always has one foot out the door, ready to run and blame the curse for everything. She’s beating herself up for what happened yesterday when none of it was her fault at all, and it damn sure wasn’t that ridiculous curse’s fault either. ”
I agree with her on both fronts. Odette had nothing to do with Craig and Izzy’s demise. The blame solely falls to Craig’s shoulders. My girl shouldn’t be bearing that weight at all.
“I understand why she got scared, though. I know what it’s like to have your future ripped out from under you.”
“Yeah, and so do I. Join the club. BYOS.”
“BYOS?”
“Bring your own snacks.” She rolls her eyes.
“Look, Noah, I get it. I understand why you’re both scared.
You have issues from your relationship with Chelsea, and Odette has issues with the so-called curse.
You both feel like you’re doomed to fail because of your past. But you’re not your past. We’re in the here and now.
Things change. People change. Circumstances change.
Like, for example, someone who swore off marriage might suddenly find himself falling in love again and want just that.
And maybe another someone could feel the same way.
And that first someone is on the brink of letting that second someone walk out of their life for good because they’re chickenshit. ”
“Gee, Izzy, I don’t think you could possibly be more subtle than you’re being,” I say sarcastically.
She shrugs. “I’m just trying to be direct, which is something you two should try.”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “I get it, okay? I should have said something to her. I shouldn’t have let her walk away. Why the fuck do you think I’m drinking at nine in the morning?”
She grabs my glass of Glove Save, draining the rest of it. She wipes the back of her hand across her lips. “To be fair, drinking sounds like a great idea right now.”
I have no doubt she feels that way after yesterday. I felt bad witnessing it, then having to go to the diner and explain to everyone why our bride and groom wouldn’t be showing up or going through with the wedding. It was traumatic for me, and I was only the messenger.
“How are you the one comforting me? You just discovered your fiancé was cheating on you last night. What the hell are you even doing here?”