Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
Down on my Knees
Jack
Icame dressed to not fucking impress, all greedy and green.
I was in full costume, ready for the act of a lifetime—except this wasn’t some made-up bullshit, but my life.
I was as much of a jerk as the fuzzy, grouchy character I impersonated, but I was at this concert to make things right.
People could stare and point, but I didn’t give a flying fuck.
I was there to stop screwing up my life.
I had assured Faith I’d be at her play to watch her perform, but my dumbass choices had gotten in the way.
I had been selfish, putting my relationship with Gabriel first, when I had made an obligation to his granddaughter and had done nothing but hurt her.
I’d tossed Elle and Faith’s feelings aside and put my greed before love.
No longer would I make the mistake of denying the truth. My girls came first. I’d prove my worth.
I disguised myself in character with the plan of surprising Faith and earning back her trust. To let her see I was a changed man because of her, but as soon as I saw Faith take the stage, I immediately sensed something was out of place.
She tensed up; the joy left her eyes, and she experienced stage fright.
I jumped into action without a second thought and made my whereabouts known.
The elation on Faith’s sweet innocent face, all dolled up, made my heart hammer in my chest erratically, and the biggest fucking grin spread over my made-up face.
The dried cosmetics were incredibly itchy, but I couldn’t be happier.
When the music began a second time with her melody right on beat, I didn’t miss the opportunity to join in.
I sounded horrendous, but Faith outshone me through every terrible tune. She fixed my heart and stitched up the broken pieces. All I needed was her Mommy to heal me with her love, and I hoped to fucking God I hadn’t destroyed it. I’d do anything to earn her devotion.
Faith sang her heart out, and she followed everything we had practiced together.
She danced to the music and made eye contact with the crowd.
She was a true talent who had earned her place up on the stage as she finished up her act and took a bow.
The outpouring of cheers and love for her performance was intense.
“Yes!” I pumped a fist high into the air.
I was damn proud of Faith. She had faced her fear. She hadn’t let the monsters destroy her, and she gave me the willpower to beat my inner beasts, but I had to accept the fact Elle might not forgive me. I could lose her, and the thought terrified me.
Before the curtains shut, I made a mad dash to get backstage. I had to catch Elle before it was too late. I had wasted enough time on petty bullshit, and I had to make everything right.
A crowd of people had formed behind the scenes, with parents congratulating their kids on a job well-done.
My big belly full of fluff bumped against bodies as I pushed my way through, and my eyes fell on Elle.
Goddamn it, she was beautiful. Her eyes shimmered with happiness as she peered down at her daughter, full of pride, and she hugged her tight.
Elle had done an amazing job raising such a wonderful human being. I was fucking proud of her and tears glistened in my eyes. I wanted to express all the emotions this woman made me feel, but I was too overwhelmed. I did the only act of public affection I could think of.
I fell to my knees and crawled toward Elle while her shocked, sweet, cinnamon eyes landed on me.
Through the people, I begged, and shoes trampled on my hands with apologies, but I ignored all the pain because I had to grovel for forgiveness.
She had to see I knew I was a stupid, ignorant son of a bitch who didn’t deserve her, but I was selfish, and I’d do anything to have her.
I’d do whatever it took to be a part of her wonderful family.
I stopped at my girls’ feet and kneeled while staring up at them with imploring eyes.
“First, I want to congratulate Faith on an outstanding performance. Second, please forgive me. From the deepest part of my heart, I’m sorry, kiddo.
I never meant to hurt you, and I’ll do whatever I can to make everything up to you,” I pleaded with my hands together.
“Until I take my last breath, I promise to always love you and your Mommy, and to never desert you.”
“Mommy?” Faith glanced up at Elle with confusion and back at me.
I wasn’t fucking good with kids, but this was what I felt in my heart. It was necessary for them to see. I needed Faith and Elle to understand how deeply sorry I was.
Elle leaned down to Faith’s level and squeezed her hand.
“Wait right here, sweetheart.” Elle smiled but turned to me and lost the affection. She grabbed my fuzzy costume and yanked me up off my knees. “You... Come with me.”
“Jesus, easy, princess,” I sighed.
“Go easy on you, Jack? Nothing has been easy about how you have treated me and my child.” Elle glared at me and placed a hand on her hip. “First, you humiliated me in front of my father, and now, you embarrass Faith in front of her peers?”
“Mommy... I’m okay. I think it’s nice what Mr. Timber did for me,” Faith spoke up behind Elle.
“Thanks, kiddo.” I beamed.
“Jack. You made your intentions quite clear, and I—” I shushed Elle with a finger against her lips.
“No. I didn’t. I made the biggest mistake of my life.
Letting you go and pushing Faith away was something I should never have done.
Somewhere along the way, my feelings for you grew, and I want to be with you because I love you for the independent, amazing woman you are.
” I got down on my knees in front of Elle and held onto her waist. “Please let me prove to you every day for the rest of my life how sorry I am.”
A crowd had gathered around us, but I didn’t give a damn.
All I saw was Elle. Her beautiful teary eyes, peering down at me as I pondered what the hell she was thinking.
She was usually readable, but now she wasn’t.
My mind reeled with the thought of losing her, and I squeezed her hips tighter, unable to let her go.
“Please, Jack, stop. You hurt me too much,” Elle whispered and placed her hands over mine. “Let me go.”
“No, I can’t. I won’t.” Tears fell down my face, and I shook her waist. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have ever hurt you or your child.”
“You humiliated me, Jack...” Elle took my hands into hers. “You let me go too easily, as if I were nothing, and I should do the same to you.”
“But you aren’t nothing. You are—” Elle released my hands.
“It’s too late. The damage is done.” Elle interrupted and pointed a finger at me. “I saw you with another woman after I told you I loved you. Do you realize how heartbreaking that was?”
“I know... I know...” I got up off the floor and ran my hands down my face. “But that was my sister. Not someone else.”
I held out my hands to Elle, full of wet tears and makeup. My appearance was probably hideous, but I didn’t fucking care. All I treasured was Elle and her daughter.
“What?” Elle exclaimed as she pressed her fingertips into her forehead. “Sage? I can’t believe this. So, you lied to me about your feelings and then tried to hurt me by pretending to be with someone else?”
Fuck. Her explanation of what I had done sounded awful. Elle had every right not to forgive me, but I couldn’t fucking deny the love I had for her that was wreaking havoc through every fiber of my being.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yes.”
“Come on, sweetheart.” Elle took Faith’s hand. “Let’s go.”
“No, no, no...” I shook my head repeatedly, in full-blown panic, and reached out for my girls. “I screwed up. I never should’ve done such a horrible thing. Please don’t walk away. You both are my everything.”
Elle stepped out of reach, and she took Faith with her. I was torn up inside. I hadn’t made anything better and had only made the situation worse, but I had to fucking get through to her.
“And that’s supposed to make everything better?” Elle threw a hand up in the air.
“No...” I shrugged and gazed into her eyes. “But it proves to you that I love you because I tried to do whatever I could to save you from me. Until I couldn’t think and wasn’t capable of living with the grave mistake I had made. I can’t live next door to you without you in my world.”
“Then move away!” Elle shouted through tears she wasn’t capable of holding back any longer and hugged Faith close. “Because I never want to see you again. Stay away from me and my daughter. I mean it, Jack.”
“Bye, Mr. Timber,” Faith whispered with tears streaming down her sweet face.
The image would haunt me for the rest of my life.
“Elle, Faith, please, I love you. Please don’t do this to me...” I wept as Elle walked away with her daughter and didn’t turn back. “I won’t give up on you! Never!”
My girls didn’t answer me, and I watched them go. I fell to my knees, sobbing in anguish for all I had lost as people passed by and showed me no remorse, but I didn’t fault them. I had no one to blame except myself.
A once bitter man turned cheerful all in the name of love, seeking forgiveness. Nothing would stop me. I’d grovel after Elle till the end of the earth.