37. Maddy
37
MADDY
“ W hat are you doing?” Nia hissed at me as she pointed toward the kitchen. “Get in there and help him!”
I didn’t move from my seat at the table. I was still trying to figure out what Noah was doing at our family dinner, and how much had been said before I arrived. I’d been stewing on it all through the meal, and I still wasn’t sure how I felt about him being with us.
“What? It’s good for him to get a taste of domestic life,” I insisted. “I bet he doesn’t even know how to wash dishes.”
“Oh come on. Why are you torturing him?” Hope asked.
I laughed at her. “How is this torture? The dishes need to get done. It’s good for him to see how the other half lives.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. You barely looked at him the whole meal. You gave him the cold shoulder,” she replied.
“Yeah, part of me was proud because you took a page from my bitchy playbook, but enough’s enough,” Nia said. “Get in there and put him out of his misery. He has stuff he wants to say to you.”
“Yeah, like what he told us before you got here,” Hope whispered as she leaned closer, her eyes shining. “About you. Like, really nice, swoony stuff, Mads. He’s a goner for you.”
“What did he say?” I asked. I felt a little woozy at the thought of Noah talking to them. I knew firsthand that they were a tough crowd. Even though Noah could negotiate with everyone from the brand leadership team at Apple to the EVP of the NFL, I wasn’t sure he could handle the combined firepower of my two protective besties.
“That’s personal,” Nia sniffed at me. “Between us and him.”
Hope slapped her arm. “Whose side are you on?” She lowered her voice. “First, he said you were beautiful.”
“No, he said you were stunning ,” Nia corrected. “Even better.”
Hope nodded excitedly. “Right! Then he said that you made him really happy, and you have a bubble of joy around you. How cute is that?”
“And he said he likes how you can keep him in line. You got that from me,” Nia said with an approving nod.
Something fizzed inside of me, a little bath bomb of excitement about what they were telling me.
“Look, we don’t know everything that happened—” Hope said.
“—because you won’t tell us,” Nia added helpfully.
“—but it’s obvious he knows he screwed up. And you matter enough to him for him to come here to try to make things right. You don’t have to forgive him. But I think you should at least hear him out,” Hope concluded.
“Okay, fine,” I said, shoving back from the table. “I’ll go help.”
“Let him talk,” Hope counseled. “I think you’ll like what he has to say.”
“We can’t promise we won’t eavesdrop,” Nia called after me.
I opened the swinging door to the kitchen and watched Noah’s back for a moment. It was still strange seeing him dropped into this familiar space after being apart. Nia and Hope’s cozy apartment felt like my second home, yet here he was, acting like he belonged too.
Did I like him being here? Yeah, more than I was willing to admit.
“Hey. Need help?”
Noah was up to his elbows in dishes, and when he turned around, he looked like he wasn’t sure what he’d gotten himself into. “I sure do. The dishwasher is full and now I’m stuck trying to scrub all of these greasy pots.”
I walked over and glanced at what he was doing. “You’re using hand soap and paper towels, Noah. No wonder you’re having problems.”
“I’m doing my best,” he sputtered. “I’m not exactly proficient in the kitchen arts.”
“Move,” I said, bumping my hip against his. “I’ve got this.”
He sighed and stepped aside. “I’ll dry.”
“Deal. Drying rack is under the sink.”
We fell into a quiet rhythm as I scrubbed and rinsed and he wiped off the various pots and pans. I could tell he wanted to talk, but instead of starting the major conversation we needed to have, he leaned into the work so we could get it out of the way. I think he knew on some level that whatever needed to be said deserved our full attention.
“Do you remember this song?” he asked as a sexy guitar lick game on.
I tipped my head to listen and felt a warm flush spread to my cheeks. “ Wicked Game by Chris Isaak. How could I forget? This was playing during our trip home from Europe.”
“That was a memorable flight,” he mused. “You were so nervous until?—”
“Until you pulled me on your lap and kissed me. And then you brought me back to the couch and…”
“Made you forget about your fear of flying,” he grinned. “Until the steward came out and interrupted us before we really got going. I almost fired him.”
“You were worth the wait,” I laughed.
Reminiscing with him felt good. Focusing on our happy times was better than rehashing all of the ways we’d come apart. But I knew we still needed to go back to all the bleakness that had ended us, at least one more time, to figure out if we could get past it. I tried not to get my hopes up, but every time Noah looked at me, I felt butterflies.
We finished up and wiped the counters until the little kitchen looked spotless.
“Can we talk for a minute?” Noah asked.
He looked worried, his eyebrows drawn together and a frown driving it home.
“Of course,” I murmured. I tried to calm my hammering heart as I waited for him to begin talking.
“I need to say I’m sorry for what I did, Maddy. Putting the business before you. I don’t really have any excuse. I always thought I was in control of how PSM performed. When the shit really started hitting the fan, I felt helpless and out of control, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was angry about the situation, not your role in it. You were in a vulnerable place, and I made everything worse, and for that, I apologize.”
Warmth spread in my chest. It was the last thing I expected from him.
“Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that.”
“There’s more,” he continued, moving closer to me but still keeping a buffer between us. “I’m sorry I let you walk away without fighting to keep you.”
My breath caught. It was as if he’d read my thoughts.
“Noah, I need to apologize too,” I said in a rush. I didn’t want what I had to say to get lost in our reconciliation.
“What do you mean? I’m the one who?—”
“I ran away. From you. From us.” I took a deep breath. “I didn’t try to talk it through with you, and that wasn’t fair. I’m as much to blame for what happened between us as you are. I kept looking for the flaws in our relationship. But up until the point when everything went sideways, with the Beckett stuff, there hadn’t been a single thing wrong between us. We were so good together, and it scared me. Because I wasn’t sure if you felt it too.”
“God, Maddy, I did—I felt it all. I’ve missed you,” Noah said softly. His eyes scanned my face. “So much. You don’t know how many times I wanted to call you. My life feels empty without you in it, like I’m going through the motions but not really living.”
“Me too,” I admitted. “I haven’t been able to sleep.”
We blinked at each other in silence as we processed everything that had been revealed. Noah reached out to take my hand in his.
“I need to tell you one other thing,” Noah said in a quiet voice.
I’d never seen him looking so vulnerable.
“What’s that?” I whispered back, moving a step closer to him.
“It’s that…” He reached out to cup my cheek with his other hand and stared into my eyes. “I fell, madly, wildly, desperately in love with you, Maddy Malone. And I’ve been going out of my mind because I thought I’d lost you forever. So before we go any further, I need to know if you feel the same.”
Tears sprang to my eyes, and all I could do was nod silently.
“You do?” he asked, a smile lighting up his handsome face.
“I love you, too, Noah,” I sniffled back the feelings threatening to overwhelm me. “So much.”
I crashed into his arms, and he swept me into a movie kiss, dipping me backward as our lips came together. I’d missed this, our incredible feeling of connection, as if pressing our bodies close was exactly where we belonged. I tightened my arms around his neck, kissing him like I was trying to make up for lost time.
“Oh hold on! Whoops!”
Noah pulled away, still holding me bent backward in his arms, and we saw Nia and Hope giggling in the doorway.
“Looks like things are going well in here,” Nia said. “We were just coming in to grab dessert, but I guess you’ve already gotten started.”
Noah finally stood me up straight, and I pressed my hands to my mouth, letting out an embarrassed giggle.
“Busted,” Noah said sheepishly. “But we finished the dishes.”
“So I see,”’ Hope smiled as she brushed past us. “Do you two want to stay or are you going to, uh, enjoy yourselves elsewhere?”
“Depends on what’s for dessert,” Noah said as he arched an eyebrow at her.
“Flourless chocolate torte,” she replied. “I made it myself.”
“Hold on—I don’t care what he wants; I’m staying for that,” I said.
“I have to agree,” Noah added. “I never say no to chocolate.”
Nia got to work making coffee with Bailey’s as Hope gathered the plates. Once we were all settled at the table again, we dug into what had to be the most sinful torte ever baked.
“Better than Patisserie Sebastien Gaudard in Paris,” Noah said as he dragged his spoon out of his mouth in slow motion.
I know he wasn’t trying to seduce me, but even the tiny gesture was enough to make me fidget.
“Now that’s a compliment!” Hope exclaimed. “Thank you.”
Noah helped himself to a second slice, which made Hope even more proud.
“So where do we stand, you two?” Nia glanced between us. “Noah showed up on our doorstep on a mission. Did you kiss and make up for good, or was that just for show?”
I blushed. “We did. And definitely not for show.”
Noah glanced between Nia and Hope. “I have the two of you to thank for making it possible.”
“Oh, stop,” Hope flapped her hand at him. “You two would’ve figured it out eventually.”
The three of them joked with each other about Noah trying to work in the tiny kitchen, and I sat back and took it all in. I was still in awe that I was here . Surrounded by two of my best friends, with the man I loved, yes loved , charming them. It almost didn’t feel real. I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Look at her,” Hope said, pointing at me. “She’s glowing .”
“Finally back to normal,” Nia chuckled. “We were starting to get really worried about our girl. Emo doesn’t suit you at all, Mads.”
“I’m just really, really happy,” I said, glancing over at Noah and giving his knee a squeeze. “And a little in shock. I wasn’t expecting this at all.”
“Well, there’s more where that came from,” Noah said. “Get ready for a life that shakes up all of your expectations.” He was looking at me like there was no one else in the room.
We leaned toward each other in sync and kissed to the whoops of my friends.
“Get a room,” Nia razzed.
“Sounds like a perfect plan,” Noah murmured as he pulled away from me. “Ladies, if you’ll excuse us, I need to whisk this beautiful woman away and do unspeakably devilish things to her body for the rest of the night.”
We left the apartment with their laughter echoing behind us, and my heart had never felt fuller.