5. Theo
5
THEO
“ S o what’s the real reason for the lunch date, Mom? Because I can tell something’s up.”
She widened her eyes at me. “Why would you think that?”
“You can’t hide anything from me. Now spill it.”
My mom, Elena, had shown up at my office unannounced and basically demanded we go to lunch. Normally I eat at my desk, but we both knew I wasn’t about to say no to her. I wasn’t too proud to admit that I was a total momma’s boy. She’d raised me on her own since my father passed when I was thirteen. She was basically my hero, and as soon as I made good, the first order of business for me was to use my money to make her life soft and easy. Every win for me was a win for us.
I watched as my mom try to find the right words for whatever motherly dictate she was about to throw down. I definitely hadn’t gotten my poker face from her—she was so expressive that anyone could tell at a glance exactly what she was thinking. And I could tell right now that she was trying to find the right words to scold me. It wasn’t something I’d take from anyone else, but I’d put up with just about anything to make her happy.
Forget all the toys and trappings—my favorite thing about being rich was seeing the stress lines on her face melt away into smiles. When I was a kid, she’d seemed tired and drawn most of the time—though she always tried to stay upbeat whenever she was with me. But now, she really was upbeat and content. With her bobbed honey-colored hair and cute round cheeks she looked a good ten years younger than her true age. She’d always known how to dress, but my personal shopper had helped to take her big box style to the next level. Today, she was wearing some sort of loose dress and a chunky necklace that made her look like she was out for a day of gallery tours. Elegant but fun, just like her. She could scold me all the livelong day if she wanted—I was just happy to see that fussing at me was the biggest issue in her life right now.
“Do you realize that Jessica’s wedding is just two months away?”
“Yeah, it’s going really fast.”
My cousin Jessica was more like a sister to me. Her mother had passed when she was young, and she’d quickly been absorbed into my mom’s nurturing warmth. I was footing the bill for the event, but with everything I was juggling in my life it was easy to forget just how close it really was.
“And there’s more to it than just the wedding and reception, you know. She has a bunch of events before and an entire weekend planned out. It’s a big deal, Theo.”
I leaned back in my chair, unsure why my mom was making the wedding an issue. “Okay, that’s fine. She knows I’ll support her in any way I can.”
“Hon,” she said, placing her hand on mine. “It’s going to be a family affair. The first time we’ve all gathered in ages. It’s basically a huge family reunion. Which is why …”
I steeled myself. Here it comes, whatever “it” is.
“… you need to think long and hard about who you’re bringing with you.”
I burst out laughing. “ That’s why you staged an intervention with me? My dating life?”
She frowned at me. “Yes. You’ve made some… interesting choices over the years, you have to admit it.”
I finally managed to stop laughing. “Okay, sure. Yeah, I date a wide variety of women. But they all know how to behave at a wedding. It’s not like they’re rude or something.”
“No, I’m not saying that at all,” she protested weakly. “But …”
“Hold on, hold on. Let’s go through my recent dating history, shall we? You can tell me why they’re not appropriate for a family event. I was seeing Marietta last. She was a knockout, super funny, and very talented.”
My mom’s mouth went into a tight line. “I never had a chance to meet her, so I’ll take your word for it. But Marietta also made you go viral when she started doing circus tricks in her thong bikini on the beach. You could see her entire … heritage in that handstand photo!”
I chuckled at the memory. Marietta Linz was a Cirque de Soleil acrobat who wasn’t shy about her body or her art, which meant that she considered the world her stage. According to the paparazzo shots, our casual beach day looked more like a trip to the strip club thanks to her barely-there white bikini.
“I’m sure she’s lovely, but she also seems like the kind of woman who enjoys being the center of attention… perhaps even at someone else’s wedding?” my mom said.
“Okay, point taken,” I admitted. “I could see Marietta upstaging Jessica at the reception. Before her I was seeing Amanda Connor. She’s a newscaster—that’s a fine, upstanding profession.”
“She’s a drinker ,” my mom countered. “Don’t you remember how drunk she got during your last yacht party? She vomited off the side, Theo!”
I bit my lip and squinted. “Right. Forgot about that part.”
“And what about that girl, what was her name? The model … you know the one I mean.”
“Yaz Brouillard,” I smiled at the memory. “Now she was something else.”
“She had such bizarre and unhealthy food rules. Remember that brunch we went to? She forced the chef to make her an unseasoned egg white omelet that she didn’t touch. And she made me feel terrible for enjoying my waffle, saying I was poisoning myself.” My mom huffed at the memory.
I laughed at her. “Okay, okay, I get it. You don’t appreciate my taste in women. Maybe I’ll just come solo and woo one of the bridesmaids.”
She was shaking her head before I even finished talking. “Off limits. Jess already warned them about you.”
“Oh come on. I’m really that bad?”
My mom leaned closer and held my gaze. “Honey, no, you are absolutely perfect. Any woman would be lucky to have you. But you clearly don’t want to settle down and it’s breaking my heart.” She leaned back in her chair, frowning. “I wish you’d just find a nice girl.”
“What if the nice girl I fall in love with is an exhibitionist with a drinking problem and an eating disorder?” I teased.
She just shook her head, refusing to be baited. “Honey. If it’s real, you know I’ll love whoever you love. But for whatever reason, you keep choosing women who don’t actually want something real.”
There was something in her expression that triggered me. A longing. Maybe the excitement about Jessica’s wedding made her realize that she’d never have the same experiences with me. I hadn’t exactly come out and said it, but she could probably tell I wasn’t one for long-term commitments. I’d seen what losing my father had done to her. She’d been so destroyed by his death that she refused to even consider dating, even all these years later. I wasn’t about to put myself up for that kind of pain. No way. I was more than happy to fuck and run.
But … I felt like I owed it to her to at least try to do what she was asking of me, at least for the wedding.
“So that’s what you want? For me to bring a nice girl who wants a real relationship to the wedding?”
“It’s my dream .”
I nodded. “Okay, you got it. Lemme see what I can do. I can’t think of any nice girls off the top of my head, but I’ll figure something out.”
“Thank you, sweetheart. I appreciate it.”
We were finally able to relax into our usual roles: my mom gossiping about every relative and neighbor she knew and me trying to keep up. But my mind wandered as she chattered away. Nice, single girls who wanted a real relationship? Did I know any?
And if I did, wouldn’t it be a dick move to invite them to a family wedding, knowing they wanted a relationship when I didn’t?
Once I was back at my office, I tried to dig back into the latest scheduling issues, but my mom’s request kept derailing me. I stared out my window to the blue horizon and wished I was out there instead of dealing with the minutiae of running a business inside. I did my best thinking on the water. It felt like my second home.
I finally managed to refocus on the mountain of work in front of me. I’d been checking my email slightly obsessively, waiting to hear back from Ford in the two weeks since our last meeting. His lawyer had been backlogged and couldn’t get to the contract right away, or at least that was what Ford told me. I switched screens to check my messages and saw a new one pop up.
The subject line read “Final images,” and I felt a burst of excitement at the realization that Max’s photos were finally ready. We hadn’t connected since our dinner, but I found my mind drifting back to her any time I thought about Ford and the contract. After our charade they felt linked together.
I opened the message.
Hi Theo,
I’m so pleased with the way these images turned out. I’ve attached compressed versions of them for you to approve, and once you do I’ll send over the actual files that can be used in your marketing materials. I hope you like them as much as I do! If you have any edits please let me know and I’ll complete them ASAP. Many thanks for the opportunity, and thanks again for helping me get one step closer to my internship.
I smiled as I read the message because I could almost hear her speaking the words. I was about to click into the images when I saw the way she’d signed off.
Your fake girlfriend , Max .
Wait. There was the solution to my mom problem.
How could I have forgotten about gorgeous, fun, friendly and certifiable-nice-girl Maxine Simon? She was perfect! My mom and the rest of my family would love her, and Max and I had proven we could make the fake girlfriend thing work.
Granted, it would be for a few months and not just a day, and she’d already said no to being my fake girlfriend again with Ford and Pam. But Ford and Pam wouldn’t be involved this time—and with the right financial incentive, I was sure she’d agree to it. In my experience, people who said you couldn’t solve a problem by throwing money at it just weren’t throwing enough money.
I dialed her number and tried to ignore the fact that what I was about to do was actually pretty strange.
“Max speaking.”
“Max, hey, it’s Theo Barnes.”
“Oh, hey …” her voice sounded confused. “I literally just sent you an email. Did you get it?”
“I did, but that’s not why I’m calling. Do you have time to meet with me?”
“Meet? Uh … yeah? But is everything okay? Are you unhappy with the photos or something?”
“No, absolutely not. This is for something else. Do you have time today?”
“ Today ?”
I could hear the sound of wind and realized she was outside.
“Yeah, sorry that this is so last-minute,” I said, “but I need to figure something out quickly, and I’m hoping you can help me.”
“Well, I’m working, Theo. I’m in Sunny Isles on a shoot.”
A forty-minute drive. I checked my calendar and realized I could clear it for the remainder of the day.
“I can meet you there if that’s okay with you. Around two thirty?”
She paused. “It’s not professional of me to pause my work with another client to have a meeting with you.”
“It won’t be a meeting,” I promised. “A quick conversation. Three minutes, tops.”
“Then why don’t we have the conversation now?” Max asked.
Because there’s no way I can talk you into this over the phone, I thought. Also, possibly, because I wanted an excuse to see her.
Not that I’d ever admit it.
“This is really a better conversation to have in person,” I said firmly.
Max hesitated. “Should I be worried about this, Theo? Because it feels like something’s up.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, don’t worry. I have a proposition for you. Just keep an open mind, okay?”
A beat. “Okay, fine, you can come talk to me at 2:30. Call me when you get here. We’re in a secluded spot. And Theo?”
“Yes?”
“Three minutes. That’s all. After that, you have to schedule a real meeting when I’m not with another client. Understood?”
“Understood.”
She sounded uncertain, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t be for long.