Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
L iam
We land in Port of Spain, the capital of Trinidad and Tobago, and depart the plane in silence. I can tell that Elisabetta is quite emotional and slightly upset. And I understand why. I feel bad because I can tell that she feels anxious about the words she said to me. She thinks I took offense to her calling me a "grumpy asshole” yet again.
But that isn’t the reason why I’m feeling upset, and I’m not even upset at her. I’m upset with myself. I’ve found myself in a position where I would be disingenuous and dishonest with someone I very much want to get to know better. Someone who I, in another life or another lifetime, could have had something special with.
“Oh, my gosh. It is so hot,” she says, as we make our way toward customs and immigration. “Are we going to be staying here?”
She looks around. “I’ve never been to Trinidad and Tobago before.”
“It’s a cool island,” I say and shake my head. “This is not our final destination.”
“Oh, okay. So, where are we going?”
“Well, right now, we’re going to a hotel, and then, tomorrow morning, we’ll be catching another plane.”
“Oh.” She looks at me in surprise. “Another plane?”
“Yes, we’re going to a much smaller island.”
“Oh, what’s the name?”
“Like I said, it’s a surprise.”
“You and your surprises.”
I stare at her. “You don’t like surprises?”
“I mean, I guess it depends on what the surprise is.”
“Oh? There are bad surprises?”
“Yeah, like if you accidentally slip and stick your—well, nothing.”
“Wait! Where were you going with that?”
I grab her hand, and she looks at me in surprise. “Do you want me to let go?”
“I mean, I don’t know why you’re holding it. I thought you were mad at me.”
“I wasn’t mad at you. I mean, just a little bit, but I got over it,” I tease her, and she blushes.
“Well, I’m mad at you, too, but I can have a cease-fire for a little bit.”
“Why are you mad at me?”
“Why do you think? You were so rude to me just now on the plane.”
“Was I?” I blink in surprise. I thought I’d been thoughtful. Well, partially.
Her expression changes to one of incredulity. “You are not trying to pretend that you didn’t realize that you were absolutely the most infuriating and rude man that has…” She pauses.
“What were you going to say?” I chuckle. “ That has ever existed in the world ?”
“Oh, my gosh! How did you take the words right out of my mouth?” She giggles.
I let go of her hand.
“So, we’re going to a hotel?”
“Yes, we are.” I nod.
“I certainly hope that you got us two bedrooms.”
“Now, why would I do that?” I say, winking at her.
She blushes again, and we walk in companionable silence until we stand in the queue, waiting for an immigration agent to look at our passports.
“So, do you come here often then?” she says finally, looking around.
The wait has already been quite long, and I know she’s probably tired.
“I’ve been here a few times, yes,” I say. “I like going to the Caribbean. It’s one of my favorite places.”
“Oo-la-la. Fancy.” She gives me a wink.
“Have you not been to the Caribbean before?” I ask her.
“No, but I mean, I’ve always wanted to go,” she says. “So, thank you for bringing me.”
“I’m surprised, what with you being so wealthy and all, or rather, used to be wealthy.”
“My dad is Italian and lives there most of the year, so most of my trips have been to Europe. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to go to other places. It just hasn’t happened yet. Skye and I used to talk about traveling together, but she never really had money, even though I would offer to pay for both of us to fly places. She was too proud to accept that. When she got her job and started making money, we meant to start traveling, but then…” She makes a face.
“But then, she met Kingston and fell in love?” I finish for her, and she nods.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy for her, and he’s a good-looking guy, and he’s very nice, and I know he loves her. And they’re soulmates and all that good stuff, but I kind of feel like it sucks because she was my best friend, and we were meant to have all these adventures together, and now…” She sounds wistful and stops talking, “Sorry, I’m just going to stop.”
“No, please continue. What were you going to say?”
“I don’t want to sound like I’m a jealous bitch.”
“I wouldn’t think that.”
“Well, now she’s got him, and what do I have?”
“You’ve got a secret fiancé you’re about to meet?”
“Very funny.”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t joke about that.”
“No, you shouldn’t.”
“Especially as I’m about to deflower you.”
She burst out laughing then. “Honey, I hate to inform you, but you’re not about to deflower me. I have had sex before, many times, trust me.”
“I know.”
“How do you know?” she asks.
“Well, I mean, I don’t know know , obviously, but I feel like a virgin wouldn’t have been quite so open about, you know, masturbating on my bed.”
She giggles. “You would think that. However…”
“However, what? Don’t tell me you did that when you were a virgin?”
“Oh, hell no,” she says. “I was barely able to do that for you. Even though I have definitely had sex before.”
“Okay, then.” I stare at her. “You know something?”
“What?” she says.
“I’ve never masturbated in front of a woman before.”
“You what? You’re joking! I don’t believe that.”
“God’s honest truth,” I say, holding my fingers up in the air. “Scout’s honor.”
“Were you a Scout?”
“I was for two years, and then I got chucked out, and you don’t want to know why.”
“I do,” she says laughingly.
“Trust me, you don’t. That is something that will die with me.”
“Oooo, now I really want to know.”
“Maybe one day, I’ll tell you. But, yeah, I’ve never committed the act in front of someone.”
“Why do I not believe that?”
“I don’t know. Why do you not believe that?”
“I mean, you just seem like you’re so sexual and…”
“If I’m being honest here, I feel like you seem to be the more sexual one, Elisabetta.”
“Really? You’re the one who fingered me on the plane under a blanket.”
“I mean, that’s because you didn’t want to join the mile-high club.”
“Because there were loads of people on the plane, and I didn’t want to get arrested. My dad cannot afford to bail me out.”
“I could have bailed you out.”
“I’m not going to ask for that kind of money from you. You’re my boss, and that’s it.”
A twinge of something twists in my heart. If only she knew the truth. But I have to let it go. I’m not going to allow feelings of guilt or trepidation ruin the next week with her.
“Have you ever wanted to, then?” she asks me, keeping her voice low.
“Have I ever wanted to? I guess I’ve been too busy pleasuring my partners to think about pleasuring myself in front of them.”
“I mean, I think that would be quite sexy,” she says, staring at my lips.
“Oh?” My heart races slightly.
“I mean, I’d kind of like to see you touching yourself, getting yourself off. It’s kind of hot.” She grins at me. “I mean, if you were thinking about me, that is.”
“What? You want me to think about you and jack off at the same time?”
“I mean, I wouldn’t say no.” she giggles.
“I mean, we can make that happen if you want.”
“I’m not saying that I want that.
“I would just need you naked.”
“What?”
I grin at her. “If I’m going to jack off and think about you, I need to see you naked.”
“But you’ve already seen me naked.”
“I have, and when I’m alone in my room, and I’m jacking off to myself, I do now think of those images quite vividly.”
I grin at her, and she blushes a deep red.
“But, if I’m going to do this in front of you, I want to see everything right there.”
“I mean, I didn’t say that I need you to do it. I was just saying?—”
“I know,” I cut her off, but I’m just letting you know that if you want to make that happen, then…” I wink at her. “You know what needs to happen.”
“I mean, trust me when I say this, Liam, I’m not begging to see you jacking off. Plus, I’ll probably go out to a bar tonight and see if I can get my flirt game on.”
“Your flirt game on?” I feel annoyed by that comment, but I don’t want to tell her that.
“Yeah, I mean, you said you don’t want to mix business with pleasure, and I want to have as much pleasure as I can before I end up marrying some weird rando.”
“What do you mean, as much pleasure as you can ? You going to try to fuck everyone in the Caribbean?”
I can hear the anger in my voice.
“Or what?” I say, trying to pretend I’m joking.
Her eyes narrow slightly, and she shakes her head. “No, I’m not trying to fuck everyone in the Caribbean. I’d like to meet one nice guy and have a really nice, intimate, enjoyable time with him. Someone I choose. Someone I can look at and think: this is something that we decided together . Not something that I’m doing out of obligation.”
“Have you ever thought that you might grow to enjoy sleeping with your future husband?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she says. “But, how long is this line going to take? It’s taking forever.”
“I know.” I shrug. “That’s the thing with the Caribbean: things can be really slow.”
“I guess now I know what they mean by ‘island time,’” she says, laughing, and I nod.
“That is true.”
“So, Liam?”
“Yes, darling.”
“Why are you calling me darling?”
“I don’t know. It was a slip of the tongue. Something that came easily to me. Maybe it’s because I’m a romantic.”
“Yeah, right. In what universe?” she says, shaking her head. “Anyway, tell me how you got into business. Was it something that you always saw yourself doing as a child?”
I stare at her for a couple of minutes, slightly puzzled as to the change in conversation.
“You already told me that you didn’t really want to mix business with pleasure, and I think we already got off-topic and started talking about sex. And, well, we’re standing in line, and I don’t want people to eavesdrop on us.” She shrugs. “So, I figured I’d make conversation, and that’s something I’m curious about.”
“When I was younger, I wanted to be a policeman.”
“Really?” She looks at me in surprise.
I nod. “Yep. In my class, everyone either wanted to be a policeman or the prime minister, and I never really fancied being the prime minister after learning about Winston Churchill.”
“Okay.”
“I thought a policeman sounded much more fun.”
“Fun? That’s not really the adjective I would use to describe being a policeman.”
“I mean, I liked the uniform, and I liked the cars,” I say, laughing. “I didn’t realize how dangerous of a job it could be.”
“Yeah, that’s true. “
“When I was younger, I thought being a policeman would be really cool, and now, I realize that they are really risking their lives to take care of us.”
“Yep,” I say. “I think you have to be a very selfless person to be a police officer.”
“And you’re not selfless?”
“Do I look selfless?” I say, grinning.
“I guess you don’t. But I could see you in a cop’s uniform.”
“Is that something you’re requesting of me?” I grin at her and look her up and down.
“What do you mean, requesting ?” she asks innocently.
“I don’t know…. Are you into role-play?”
“If I were to say yes, what would you do? Would you go into town and get a cop’s uniform?”
I look at her and laugh. “No, but I could possibly call L—” I stop. I was about to tell her something she shouldn’t know.
“You would call who?” She blinks at me in confusion.
“Nothing. I would just call or make an order on Amazon or something.”
“Hmm.” She narrows her eyes. “Were you going to say Lucinda?”
She sounds angry, and I put a blank expression on my face.
“No. Why would I say that?”
“Exactly. Why would you tell me you would call your other woman? Oh, my gosh! Is this something you’ve done before? Did you dress up as a cop with Lucinda?” she shouts. “Oh, my gosh, this is so disgusting! I think I’m going to puke. Are you really that much of a fake that you would tell me that you’re going to call some woman you’re seeing or not seeing or fucked in the past or whatever?”
“I have never fucked Lucinda.” I stare at her. “Trust me.”
“Why should I trust you? You say a whole bunch of things I don’t even know are true.”
“Lucinda and I have never been intimate.”
“Then, what was she calling you about the other day? And why were you about to say you were going to call her?”
I stare at her for a couple of seconds. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to lie to her, but I know if I tell her the truth, then that’s going to open up a whole other can of worms. And I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
She crosses her arms and stares at me.
“Listen, Liam, I don’t know what’s going on here. I don’t care if you have a friend with benefits. I don’t care what’s going on in your life. I mean, if you have a girlfriend, a wife, or a fiancée, then I fucking care, of course. But, if you’re seeing someone else casually, that’s not going to stop whatever is going to happen between us. I’m an adult. I know these things happen, but I would rather just know the truth.”
Her voice cracks. “Please.”
As I stare at her trembling lips and her eyes that seem to be filling with tears, I know that I cannot keep this a secret anymore.
I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath.
“Promise you’re not going to get upset?”
“Oh, my god. Do not tell me she’s your wife and that you’re separated or some bullshit like that. Because I swear to God, I will?—”
“She’s my assistant,” I say, cutting her off.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Lucinda is my assistant.”
“I’m your assistant, or I mean, I was your assistant. Now, I’m your marketing advisor, or whatever you want to call it.” She rubs her forehead. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Lucinda is my assistant. She’s been with me for years. She’s based in England, and…”
“What? I thought your assistant quit. I thought that’s why you’ve been working with Skye and Juniper and Lila and why I had to work for you and why you’ve been doing so much at home because…” She pauses. “I’m so confused. Why did you need another assistant if you have an assistant?”
“There’s something you should know,” I say. “Something I need to tell you.”
“And, that is?”
“Look, I don’t want you to be mad, but…”
Then her phone starts ringing, and she grabs it.
“It’s my dad,” she says. “Can we pause for a second? I need to take this.”
I stare at her for a couple of seconds and nod.
Fuck! What does he want now?