Chapter 25 Grayson
Chapter 25
Grayson
I was pushing myself too hard. I knew it, and yet I couldn’t get myself to stop.
It had gotten dark hours ago, and I struggled to see the puck as I skated across the frozen lake close to our house. The glow of streetlights from the nearby parking lot cast just enough light that it wasn’t pitch-black, so I kept going.
I was playing in the biggest game of my life the day after tomorrow, and I should have been resting. But I needed to know how hard I could play on my broken knee. I couldn’t afford to take it easy with Coach Mercer in the stands. Couldn’t afford to show any weakness or give him any reason to doubt Ryker’s decision to recruit me. The more I trained, the more my knee resisted, but that only seemed to spur me on, as if skating harder and faster might eventually make the pain disappear altogether.
I was also in no rush to go home. I knew Paige would be there and, right now, I had no idea what I was doing when it came to her. I was still planning for our practice date, but I was getting so sick of playing by the rules I’d set myself. So tired of playing it safe with her, constantly waiting for the perfect moment to show her we belonged together.
I just needed to try to keep it together until tomorrow night. And until then, I’d take out my frustrations on the ice instead.
“I thought I’d find you down here.”
I turned as Reed made his way toward me. He tucked his hands in his pockets and carefully walked across the ice as I pulled to a stop. I was puffing hard. My knee hurt like hell. I already knew what he wanted to say. And that I didn’t want to hear it.
“Leave me alone, Reed.”
I was half tempted to skate away, into the darkness. I wasn’t in the mood for a lecture from my brother. But if I didn’t listen to it now, it would only come later.
“What are you doing?” he asked when he reached me.
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m training.”
“This isn’t training. It’s pitch-black out here. You’re going to get hurt.”
“I’ll be fine,” I grumbled. I was already hurt; that was the problem.
He heaved out a breath. “I know you must be worried about the weekend. About Coach Mercer coming to the game. But you don’t need to be. You’re going to be great.”
It was easy enough for Reed to say. He was the star of the team. He was the talent that had drawn Ryker’s attention in the first place. I was just an added extra. An afterthought. And thanks to my injury, I wasn’t even a very good one.
“What are you worried about? He’s not going to revoke the offer.” It was as if my brother could read my thoughts.
“He might.”
“He won’t!” He lifted his hands in the air in frustration. “Why would he?”
Reed searched my face for an answer, and I avoided the temptation to reach down and rub my aching knee. He was well aware I’d had trouble with it, but he also knew I’d only deny it was still causing me problems .
I shrugged and he shook his head.
“Unless this is about something else...” he said. “Is it Paige?”
It might have been dark out, but my brother could see right through me.
“It’s not because of Paige or Mercer,” I said. “I’m just training before a big game. It’s what we do.”
“This isn’t what we do,” he said, waving his hand around the darkened lake. “Look, the Raiders game is about to start. Come home. Watch it with us. If you want to torture yourself, I’m sure we can find a better way.”
His arms were firmly folded across his chest. He wasn’t leaving without me.
“Come on, Gray. The team needs you fit and focused this weekend if we’re going to beat the Wolves. I need you. We’ll put on a show for Mercer together.”
I knew he was trying to motivate me, but I only felt more pressure. A part of me wanted to stay out here just to spite him. But as much as I didn’t want to let myself down, the thought of letting my teammates and my brother down was worse. It was a big game for him too.
“Okay, okay. I’m coming,” I grumbled. Maybe this was the reason Reed was captain of the team. He always found ways of getting even the most stubborn of us to fall into line.
“But I really was just training.”
“If you say so.” Did he have to sound quite so smug?
When we arrived home, the Raiders game had already started and most of the family were crowded around the TV in the living room to watch it. Given the grimace on my dad’s face, my future team wasn’t playing well .
“You’re back,” Paige said, jumping up from her seat on the floor. The way her deep brown eyes sparkled with warmth as she smiled up at me was like a sledgehammer to the chest. I guess I’d found a better way to punish myself than what I’d been putting myself through on the lake.
“What’d I miss?” I grunted, nodding at the screen.
“Not much,” Paige replied.
“You don’t want to know,” Dad added.
I wasn’t exactly surprised. The Raiders were still having a rough season, and if they kept this up, Reed and I were going to have a lot of work to do when we joined them next year. My knee throbbed, reminding me I might not make it that far.
Parker was sitting on the couch next to my dad and groaned as Ryker missed another opportunity to score. “You sure you want to play for them? I know Dad went there, but the signing isn’t until Saturday, so you could still change your mind...”
Dad whacked him with the back of his hand.
“What?” Parker said. “It’s true.”
“No one’s changing their mind about anything,” Reed replied, giving me a pointed look as he took the free spot on the couch and made himself comfortable.
“I’m going to go hop in the shower,” Paige said, giving my arm a light squeeze as she walked past. “Maybe they’ll be winning by the time I get back.”
I instinctively followed her from the room. She was like a magnet, and I often felt like she could pull me just about anywhere. “How’d it go with Bonnie? ”
“Pretty good, actually,” she said as we stepped into the hallway. “She was so impressed by my interviews she wants me to do more.”
“That’s great.”
“She even said she thought I should pursue this further. Like, in college. Or even as a job one day.”
“I’m not surprised,” I said. “You’d be great.”
Her face seemed to glow in response. The lights overhead briefly flickered, but that was nothing new in this house and I barely noticed. I was too busy looking at Paige. She gave a cautious glance upward before focusing on me again.
“It was only one comment from Bonnie. Just because she says one article turned out okay, it doesn’t mean I’m suddenly good at writing.”
“I’d say it means a lot coming from Bonnie.”
Paige shrugged and averted her eyes, but I could tell she was secretly proud of herself.
“I never really considered working in sports,” she continued. “I mean, I can’t shoot a puck to save my life.”
“There’s a lot more to hockey than the players on the ice,” I said. “And I watched you giving your interviews—the guys were so happy to talk to you. If this is something you want, I have no doubt you can do it.”
“Thanks, Gray.” When she smiled up at me, my heart lurched and I couldn’t ignore the sparks flaring between us. Her gaze seemed to intensify as she returned mine, and when she bit her lower lip, I desperately wondered what she could be thinking.
The lights flickered again and Paige glanced upward once more, breaking the moment. “Is your dad ever going to fix the wiring?”
“Probably not,” I replied. “I think he likes to live life on the edge.”
“I think so too.”
She hesitated for a second, as though she was thinking about what to say next, but then she simply smiled and turned to the stairs. I reluctantly went back to the living room and slumped into an empty chair just as a cheer went up from my dad and brothers—the Raiders had managed to tie it up with one goal apiece. My mind wasn’t on the game though. I was still picturing the way Paige had bit her lower lip.
“I guess you guys can play for them after all,” Parker said.
“I’m so glad we’ve got your approval,” Reed said drily.
Despite Parker’s newfound optimism, as we continued to watch, the Raiders still struggled to pull ahead. Occasionally the camera cut to Coach Mercer as he screamed at his players or glared at the ice, clearly unhappy with the way they were playing. Coach Ray had a temper, but it seemed like Mercer took it to another level. The game remained tied going into the final period, but in the closing minutes one of the Ryker players stole the puck and sped across the ice. The defense fumbled as they tried to chase him down.
“Come on! Come on!” Dad yelled at the screen.
“Move the puck!” demanded Reed. “Move it!”
“Go. Go. Go,” Parker urged.
“Shoot!” We all screamed in unison as the player passed the puck to his teammate who was in perfect position, right in front of the net .
We were all on our feet as he pulled back his stick and sent the puck sailing through the air toward the goal—
The house plunged into darkness and the TV went dead before we could see the outcome of the play. The power was out.
“No!”
“What the hell, Dad!”
“Are you kidding me?”
We all shouted our complaints, but over the noise I heard a squeal come from upstairs.
“Paige?” I raced out of the room and up the stairs, taking them two at a time in my hurry to get to her. I somehow managed not to trip, despite the fact it was pitch-black, but when I reached the top, I heard a loud bang from the bathroom and a hiss of pain. I wrenched open the door and staggered into the room, only to be greeted by another yelp from Paige.
“Grayson, I’m showering!”
My eyes had begun to adjust to the darkness, and I could just make out Paige standing in the bathroom clutching a towel to her chest. I almost slipped on the bathmat in my hurry to turn away. “Sorry! I—uh—didn’t see anything, I swear! I just heard you shout and wanted to make sure you were okay. The power’s out.”
“Yes, I can see that.”
“Okay, good. I’ll leave you to it then...”
“What? No. You can’t leave me in the dark. Can you help me find some light?”
“Uh, yeah. Mom always has a scented candle in here somewhere.” I started to turn toward the vanity, but Paige yelped again .
“Wait!” Then she lowered her voice to a whisper. “Not yet. Let me get my towel on first.”
I’d been doing my best not to think about the fact she was only covered by a towel. It was a lot harder to do when she said it out loud.
“Right. Of course.”
I heard the rustle of the towel as she wrapped it around herself more firmly. “Okay. I’m ready. Where’s this candle?”
“Uh, it’s usually next to the sink.” I turned back to face the room, doing my best not to look directly at Paige, and started to rummage around in the darkness. I was starting to see a little clearer now, but it was still dark, and there was so much stuff on the vanity I couldn’t make out what each item was. As I searched for the candle, I felt Paige take a step closer to me. Then—
“Ouch,” she squeaked, and as I turned, she stumbled into me. I instinctively opened my arms to catch her and then closed them tightly to keep her from falling. We were still for a moment as I held her, my hands resting on the fluffy towel, our pounding hearts the only sound breaking the silence.
When I was sure she had found her feet again, I relaxed my arms, but neither of us stepped back. I glanced down, and despite the darkness, we were so close I could easily see her gazing up at me. If I’d thought I was tortured before, being this close to her was almost unbearable. My hands were still pressed on her back, and hers were resting on my chest. Her breath caught when our eyes met and the air between us felt electric. She lightly bit her lip again, and this time it looked as though she too was fighting through something painful .
Maybe it was the blackout. Maybe I’d finally lost my mind, but I couldn’t seem to keep my feelings in anymore. They were trying to burst out of me, straining each and every seam I’d stitched so diligently to keep them contained. This wasn’t part of the plan, but I was done trying to hide a love that was ingrained so deeply in my soul.
I lifted one hand from her back and reached up to push a hair away from her face. It was still wet from the shower. I moved my hand to her cheek and lightly brushed away a bead of water that had fallen there. My hand was shaking with nerves because, for the first time, I thought I might finally be ready to tell Paige the truth. Ready to risk everything.
“The way you’re looking at me...” I murmured. “You have no idea how it makes me feel.”
Her throat bobbed. “So, tell me.”
“I can’t,” I replied. “But you’re dangerously close to making me break all my rules.”
It felt easy to admit these things in the darkened room. As though this moment wasn’t real. Like time had stopped. Or I was in some alternate universe where I actually had a chance.
“Maybe your rules are worth breaking?”
She was staring up into my eyes like I was worthy. Like, despite my many flaws, I was what she wanted. What she needed. A delicate tremor rippled through me as my chest flooded with warmth.
“Paige, I . . .”
Light filled the room, and her eyes jumped away from mine. Cheers sounded, and the familiar noise of the hockey on TV drifted up from downstairs. The harsh, bright light of the bathroom felt far too revealing. I’d been so close to divulging my heart, and if Paige only looked into my eyes, I knew the truth would be only too evident for her to see.
She kept her eyes low and stepped back. That one swift movement did even more to break the moment than the lights flaring back to life. Whatever had been happening in the darkness was over.
“I better get dressed,” she said. She didn’t wait for my reply as she slipped past me and out into the hall. I followed her, and just as she was about to push into Cammie’s room, she stole a glance my way. There was a spark of something in her eyes. Excitement? Regret? Uncertainty? She was gone before I could decide. I’d come so close to confessing my feelings, but it wasn’t my last opportunity. Whatever had just happened between us in the darkness had ignited a cautious hope inside me, and I wasn’t going to let the next chance pass me by.