58. Jud
Iknew Ada wouldn’t be waiting for me in the hotel when I got back. I also knew I was going to need time to process that so I left Milo with Kendall and went back alone. Still, I held my breath and strained to hear her voice when I opened the door.
Nothing. Her things were missing and the room felt painfully empty. I sank into the edge of the bed and laid back on it. Staring up at the ceiling, I let the ache of losing her fill me up and spill over.
It took me a while to notice the note left on the bedside table. When I finally got up the courage to unfold the single sheet of paper, my lungs squeezed tight and my eyes watered as I read it.
Thank you, Jud. You’ve always been better than I deserve but all that I’ve ever wanted. If I’m lucky, I’ll find you again some day when things aren’t so dire. Next time, I promise not to make a mess of things. I didn’t tell you this but I spent the two years before prom hoping and praying you’d magically show up for prom and sweep me off my feet. I told everyone who asked me no because I wanted to be free for you. I couldn’t imagine the night that everyone said was supposed to be the best night of my life without you. This summer was more than any prom night could’ve ever hoped to be. You gave me the magic I’d been waiting on for so long. Thank you. I love you, Judson Carrington. I waited ten years to tell you that, which seems a little silly now that I’m saying goodbye. I should’ve told you sooner. I should’ve held you harder. You were enough for me. I would’ve happily run away with you if the wreckage left behind hadn’t been so severe. Go home to your brothers, Jud. They need you.
I clutched the note in my hand and wiped my face with the back of my arm. Sucking up my tears, I stood up and tucked the note away in my pocket. I was going home to my brothers but I wasn’t sure they were going to like what they’d been left with.