Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Ashley
I parked my car outside the hospital, gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly.
It was my day off after a couple of flights, and I couldn’t put this off anymore.
Mom needed to know about me and Troy. My stomach twisted as I grabbed the bouquet of daisies I’d picked up, her favorite, and headed inside.
The antiseptic smell hit me like always, sharp and familiar, as I walked down the hall to her room.
She was sitting up in bed when I got there, flipping through a magazine, her head wrapped in a soft scarf. Her face lit up when she saw me.
“Ashley!” she said, setting the magazine down. “Look at you. My girl’s here.”
“Hey, Mom,” I said, forcing a smile as I set the flowers on the table. “Brought you these. Thought they’d cheer the place up.”
“They’re perfect,” she said, reaching for them. “Daisies always make me happy. Come sit, tell me everything. How’s flying?”
I pulled a chair close, sitting down and smoothing my jeans. “It’s good. Busy. Did Dallas last week, Charlotte yesterday. Still getting the hang of it.”
“You’re doing great,” she said, her voice warm. “I can tell. You’ve got that spark again. How’s Riva? She keeps you in line?”
“Yeah,” I said, laughing a little. “She’s on a lot of my flights. Makes it fun. Yesterday we had this grumpy pilot, Darryl. Total jerk, but I survived.”
“Grumpy pilot, huh?” she said, grinning. “You’ll win him over. You’ve got charm.”
“Doubt it,” I said, shaking my head. “He’s a brick wall. But the job’s cool. I like being up there.”
“Good,” she said, patting my hand. “I love hearing that. You’re out there living, not stuck here worrying about me.”
I squeezed her hand back, her skin cool and thin under mine. “I still worry about you. How are you feeling today?”
“Better,” she said, nodding. “Docs say the new meds are helping. I’m hanging in there. How about you? How’s Troy? You two set a date yet?”
My throat tightened, and I looked down at our hands, the words sticking. She’d been so happy about us, and I hadn’t figured out how to break this. “Mom,” I said, my voice shaky. “About Troy. We’re not together anymore.”
Her smile faltered, her eyes searching mine. “What? Ashley, what happened?”
I swallowed hard, tears already burning behind my eyes. “We broke up. A couple of weeks ago. He’s been coming home drunk every night, and we kept fighting. I couldn’t take it.”
“Oh, honey,” she said, her voice softening as she squeezed my hand tighter. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to upset you,” I said, the tears spilling over now. I wiped my face with my sleeve, trying to keep it together. “You were so excited about the engagement. I didn’t know how to say it.”
“Sweetie,” she said, pulling me closer. “Come here.” I leaned in, resting my head on her shoulder, and she wrapped her arm around me, frail but steady. “You don’t have to hide that from me. What happened? Tell me.”
I sniffed, sitting back a little but keeping her hand in mine.
“He started changing. After we got engaged, he was fine at first. Then work got busy, and he’d stay out late, drinking with his buddies.
Every night I’d wait up, and he’d stumble in, reeking of beer.
We’d fight about it, and he kept bringing up my job. ”
“Your job?” she said, frowning. “The flight attendant thing?”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “He didn’t like it. Said I didn’t need to work, that I should stay home. But I want this, Mom. I love it. He couldn’t handle me being gone, so he’d get drunk to ‘practice’ for it. That’s what he said.”
She shook her head, her lips pressing tight. “That’s not fair to you. He shouldn’t put that on you.”
“I know,” I said, wiping my eyes again. “I tried talking to him, but it was the same fight every time. I told him I couldn’t keep doing it, and I gave the ring back. Packed my stuff and left.”
“Oh, Ashley,” she said, her voice breaking a little. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“I’m sorry too,” I said, crying harder now. “I didn’t want to let you down. You were so happy about us.”
“Stop that,” she said, cupping my face with her hands. “You didn’t let me down. Not even close. I just want you to be happy, that’s all.”
“I loved him,” I said, my voice cracking. “I did. But he wasn’t the same guy anymore. I couldn’t stay with someone who didn’t get me.”
“You’re right,” she said, brushing a tear off my cheek. “You deserve better than that. Someone is proud of you, not dragging you down.”
“I miss him sometimes,” I said, leaning into her touch. “But I couldn’t keep pretending it was okay.”
“You’re strong,” she said, her eyes shiny with tears of her own. “Stronger than me some days. I hate that you’re hurting, though.”
“I’ll be okay,” I said, managing a small smile. “I’ve got Riva, the job. It’s just hard right now.”
“I know,” she said, pulling me into another hug. “It’s okay to cry, honey. Let it out.”
I did, sobbing into her shoulder, her scarf soft against my face. She held me tight, rocking a little like when I was a kid, and it felt good, safe. After a minute, I pulled back, wiping my nose. “Thanks, Mom. I needed that.”
“Anytime,” she said, grabbing a tissue from the box by her bed and handing it to me. “You’re my girl. Always will be.”
I blew my nose, laughing a little. “I’m a mess.”
“You’re my mess,” she said, smiling. “But listen, Ashley. I need to say something.”
“What?” I said, looking at her. Her face was serious now, and my stomach flipped.
She took a deep breath, holding my hand again. “I was happy about you and Troy because I want to see you settled. Happy with someone who loves you. Before I’m gone.”
“Mom, don’t,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“I might,” she said, her voice quiet but firm. “This cancer’s a fight, and I’m trying. But I’m not dumb. I know what could happen. All I’ve ever wanted is to see you okay, with a life you love. That’s why I liked Troy. I thought he’d be that for you.”
“I want that too,” I said, tears starting again. “But not with him. Not like that.”
“I get it,” she said, squeezing my hand. “I do. I’m sad it didn’t work, but I’d rather you be alone and happy than stuck with someone who’s not right. You’re doing what you need to.”
“You’re not mad?” I asked, my voice small.
“Mad?” she said, laughing softly. “No, honey. I’m proud. You’re out there, flying, living your life. That’s what I want for you. Not some guy who can’t handle it.”
“I love you,” I said, leaning in to hug her again. “So much.”
“I love you, too,” she said, holding me close. “More than anything. You’re my whole world, Ashley.”
We stayed like that for a bit, her arms around me, the room quiet except for the faint beep of her monitor. I pulled back, wiping my face. “I didn’t want to make you sad.”
“You didn’t,” she said, smiling through her own tears. “I’m sad for what you went through, but I’m okay. You’re okay. That’s enough.”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “I’ll figure it out. Just keep fighting, alright? I need you around.”
“I’m trying,” she said, patting my cheek. “For you, I’ll keep going as long as I can.”
“Good,” I said, managing a laugh. “You’ve got to see me get good at this job. Maybe even boss that grumpy pilot around.”
“Oh, I’d pay to see that,” she said, grinning. “You’ll have him eating out of your hand.”
“Doubt it,” I said, rolling my eyes. “But I’ll try.”
“That’s my girl,” she said, settling back against her pillow. “Now, tell me more about this flying. Any funny passengers yet?”
I smiled, easing into the chair. “Yeah, yesterday this guy spilled soda all over his lap and blamed me. Riva laughed so hard she almost dropped a tray.”
“Sounds like her,” Mom said, chuckling. “Keep her close. She’s a good one.”
“She is,” I said, relaxing a little. We talked for a while about the job, the flowers, anything light. The weight wasn’t gone, but it was lighter with her. She got me, always did, and that was enough to keep me going.