Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ashley
I woke up slowly, curled up on the couch in our old house, the quilt tangled around me, my arm still draped over Mom’s side from last night’s cuddling.
The room was quiet, too quiet, no soft snores or rustle of her shifting like usual.
My eyes blinked open, the morning light filtering through the curtains, and I turned my head, expecting to see her smiling back at me, ready to tease me about kicking her in my sleep again.
But she wasn’t moving, her face still and pale, her chest not rising under my hand.
“Mom?” I said, my voice small, shaking her shoulder gently, her head lolling a bit, but no response.
“Mom, wake up,” I said louder, sitting up fast, my heart slamming in my chest as I shook her harder, her arm limp under my grip.
“No, no, no,” I whispered, pressing my fingers to her neck, feeling for a pulse, but it was gone, cold and still, and the air rushed out of me, a sob breaking free.
“Mom!” I yelled, my hands trembling as I pulled her close, hugging her tight, her body heavy against me, no warmth left.
I fumbled for my phone on the coffee table, tears blurring my eyes, my fingers shaking as I scrolled to Darryl’s name and hit call, the line ringing loud in the silence. “Ashley?” he said, picking up quickly, his voice groggy but alert. “What’s wrong?”
“She’s gone,” I said, my voice cracking, sobbing hard into the phone, clutching Mom’s quilt with my free hand. “Darryl, Mom’s gone, she’s not breathing, I don’t know what to do.”
“Shit,” he said, his voice sharpening, the sound of him moving fast on the other end. “I’m coming. Stay there, okay? Call 911.”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding even though he couldn’t see, my breath hitching as I hung up, dialing 911 with numb fingers, the operator’s calm voice cutting through my panic.
“My mom’s not breathing,” I said, my words tumbling out, tears streaming down my face.
“She’s on the couch, she’s cold, please help. ”
“Stay calm,” the woman said, her tone steady. “We’re sending someone now. Can you check her pulse again?”
“I did,” I said, sobbing, pressing my fingers back to Mom’s neck, nothing there, just stillness. “There’s nothing, she’s gone.”
“Okay,” she said, her voice firm. “Help’s on the way. Stay with her, alright?”
“Yeah,” I said, dropping the phone, pulling Mom into my lap, rocking her gently, my tears soaking into her scarf.
“Mom, please,” I whispered, stroking her hair, my chest splitting open, the room spinning around me.
I held her tight, my head pounding, my breath coming in gasps, and then everything went blurry, my vision darkening at the edges.
I slumped back, Mom’s weight heavy on me, and the world faded out, my hands slipping off her as I passed out.
I came too slow, my head fuzzy, a steady beep cutting through the haze, my body heavy on a stiff bed.
My eyes fluttered open, the bright lights stinging, and I blinked, seeing white walls, a curtain pulled half-open, the smell of antiseptic sharp in my nose.
I was in a hospital bed, an IV taped to my arm, and Darryl was there, sitting in a chair beside me, his face tight, eyes red like he’d been up all night.
“Hey,” he said, leaning forward quickly, taking my hand, his grip warm and solid. “You’re awake.”
“Darryl?” I said, my voice hoarse, squeezing his hand back, my head spinning as I tried to sit up. “Where’s Mom? Where is she?”
“She’s gone, Ashley,” he said, his voice soft but steady, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. “I got there, medics were already with her. She passed in her sleep.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head fast, pulling my hand back, my chest tightening hard. “That’s not true. She was fine last night, we were talking, laughing, she’s not gone, it’s just a dream.”
“It’s not,” he said, standing, sitting on the bed beside me, his hand resting on my arm, firm but gentle. “I’m sorry, babe. It’s real.”
“No,” I said, my voice rising, tears spilling hot down my cheeks, my hands clutching the blanket. “She’s not dead, Darryl, she can’t be, we were cuddling, she was happy, she’s waiting for the wedding, it’s not true.”
“I know,” he said, pulling me into a hug, his arms wrapping tight around me, holding me close as I shook. “I know it hurts. I’m here.”
“It’s a dream,” I said, sobbing into his chest, my hands gripping his shirt, my body trembling hard. “Wake me up, please, it’s not real, she’s not gone.”
“It’s real,” he said, his voice breaking a bit, his hand rubbing my back in slow, steady circles. “I’m so sorry, Ashley. She’s gone.”
“No!” I yelled, pushing at him, then clinging tighter, my tears soaking his shirt, my breath coming in ragged gasps. “She can’t be, she was fine, we talked about Dad, the wedding, she was happy, she can’t leave me.”
“She didn’t want to,” he said, holding me tighter, his chin resting on my head, his voice soft. “She loved you. She was happy with you last night.”
“Then why?” I said, my voice cracking, pulling back to look at him, my face wet, my hands shaking on his chest. “Why’s she gone? She’s supposed to see me marry you, she promised.”
“I don’t know,” he said, his eyes wet too, brushing my hair back, his fingers gentle on my face. “She wanted to. She just couldn’t hold on.”
“It’s not fair,” I said, breaking down hard, collapsing against him, sobbing loudly, my whole body shaking as he held me up, his arms strong around me. “I need her, Darryl, I need her, she can’t be gone.”
“I know,” he said, rocking me a bit, his hand cradling my head, letting me cry it out, my tears soaking through his shirt. “I’ve got you, okay? You’re not alone.”
“It hurts,” I said, my voice muffled against him, my hands clutching his back, nails digging in. “It hurts so much, I can’t breathe.”
“I know,” he said, kissing my forehead quickly, his lips warm against my skin, holding me close. “Let it out. I’m right here.”
I cried harder, the sobs ripping out of me, my chest heaving, my head pounding as he held me, not letting go, his hands steady on my back, my hair, keeping me together when I felt like I’d shatter.
“She’s gone,” I said, my voice breaking, finally sinking in, the weight of it crushing me. “She’s gone.”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice thick, pulling back to look at me, his hands cupping my face, wiping my tears with his thumbs. “I’m so sorry, Ashley.”
“I can’t do this,” I said, shaking my head, more tears spilling, my hands grabbing his wrists, holding tight. “I can’t, she’s my mom, I need her.”
“You can,” he said, his eyes steady on mine, his voice firm. “You’re strong. She knew that. I’m here, we’ll get through it.”
“No,” I said, breaking again, collapsing back into his arms, sobbing loudly, my body shaking hard, the hospital room blurring around me. “I don’t want to, I want her back, Darryl, I want her back.”
“I know,” he said, holding me close, his chin on my head, his hands rubbing my back, his shirt damp under my face. “I’d bring her back if I could. I’m here, though. You’ve got me.”
I clung to him, crying until my throat burned, my eyes swollen, my body limp against him, the truth sinking in slowly, heavy, breaking me apart. “She’s gone,” I whispered, my voice raw, my hands loosening on his shirt, the fight draining out. “She’s gone.”
“Yeah,” he said, kissing my forehead again, soft and steady, holding me tight. “I’ve got you, Ashley. I’m not leaving.”
“Okay,” I said, nodding weakly, my head against his chest, my tears slowing, his heartbeat steady under my ear, the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely as I broke, the hospital bed cold under me, his arms the only warmth left.