Chapter 2
No! No, this was not happening.
Once Henry’s brain had added two and two, he’d had a few moments to take in the face that haunted his dreams. The mature version was attractive, with glossy chocolate brown hair and the same bright blue eyes that pierced his soul.
She’d grown into a tall woman with big bones, but not overweight.
Her body appeared toned and muscled, reminiscent of a soldier.
What was she doing in Middlemarch? Wait, London had said she’d brought Beatrice Ramsey’s place. Beatrice had been her aunt.
Outside, Henry broke into a run, his heart pounding, his body trembling.
Where was his—crap! He’d driven to town with Gerard.
His shoulders slumped as he slowed his steps and his brain came online again.
Why the hell had he run? Now Gerard and London would ask nosy questions.
Why hadn’t he done the polite thing, smiled, and pretended he was meeting her for the first time?
Henry snorted. Yeah. Because that was too easy, and he liked to do things the hard way. London would tease him, and she’d tell his stepdad and stepmum. He reached Gerard’s truck and leaned against the passenger door.
“Crap.” He swept his hands across his face.
He’d panicked like this when he’d first met Maia.
She’d been an intense kid, and she’d wanted a dog.
The same dog he’d retained even when he’d had several people interested in purchasing her.
He’d almost sold the dog, and at the last moment, he’d told the prospective buyer he’d decided to keep Juno.
“Henry.” Gerard’s voice had his head jerking.
He said nothing, remaining silent. Hell, what could he say when he’d acted so rudely? She’d think he was a nutcase. He was a nutcase.
“You haven’t had a panic attack for years.” Gerard’s gaze was watchful. “What triggered it? We have to work out what starts these so we can help you.”
Henry swallowed hard. Oh, he knew the cause of his panic, and it was more outright fear.
Back then, during the school visit, his reaction had made sense because Maia—her name was Maia—had been a kid.
Twelve years old, which made her… He did the mental math and came up with twenty-ish.
Still too young for him to act on his instincts.
“No idea,” Henry said, lying through his teeth. “The walls were closing in on me, and I had to get outside.”
His wolf released a mournful howl that ripped through his mind and had him swallowing again. They were both fucked. He shuddered, still smelling her honey scent.
Gerard’s gaze was shrewd and assessing, and Henry hoped his friend hadn’t put the clues together. It was the girl—the impossible woman who was way too young for him.
“I’ll go for a walk. That should calm my wolf.” Liar, liar. It had nothing to do with his wolf. It was him as a whole.
“I’ll call you when I’m ready to leave.” Gerard returned to the cafe.
Henry stared after his friend and grimaced when his belly released a protesting grumble.
He’d intended to grab a sandwich or pie.
Looked like he was heading home—once Gerard finished—and from memory, there wasn’t much in the fridge.
There’d be time to shop at the supermarket.
Focusing on that might shift his thoughts from the woman.
The store was empty of customers, and Ambar was stacking goods in the far aisle.
He grabbed a basket and filled it with bread and sandwich makings.
After pondering the pantry contents, he added a packet of pasta, a pack of bacon, and a bottle of cream.
A sandwich would satisfy his immediate hunger, and he’d cook pasta later.
He’d learned to cook during his teen years and found the activity relaxing.
Yeah, he’d offer to cook dinner for Gerard and London.
That might get him out of prying questions.
He didn’t want to talk about this. Couldn’t talk about it.
Middlemarch was a small town, and he’d run into her. Maia. A shudder jolted him, and every muscle tensed. Every muscle. He panted, trying to control his wayward body.
Ambar popped her head around the corner, a box of cornflakes in hand.
“Something wrong?” she asked.
“No. Work problem,” he amended when she appeared doubtful. Henry focused on putting one foot in front of the other and his grip on his shopping basket at a reasonable tension. His gaze lighted on beer cans, and he scooped up a six-pack as he walked past. A little alcohol would relax him. Or not.
Henry stopped at the checkout counter and stacked his items on top. “I’ll grab a bottle of wine.” He snatched a bottle of sauvignon blanc from a display and returned.
Ambar scanned the items, and Henry packed them into a box—one of the many Ambar and her brother Rohan kept for their customers’ use.
“Did you meet Maia?” Ambar asked.
Henry flinched.
“Did she tell you she’s a rugby player? A professional rugby player. She’s signed with the Dunedin women’s team.”
“No, we didn’t chat. I left after introductions to get groceries for dinner.”
“Pasta, tonight?” Ambar asked.
“I like pasta.”
“Me, too. Anyway, I liked Maia. It’s nice to have someone new around.”
Henry paid for the groceries and retreated as fast as he could. Ambar wasn’t a gossip, but she did like to talk. Rohan said it was because their parents had drilled the art of small chat into them to grow their business. It had worked for their parents, and Rohan and Ambar had continued the habit.
Henry’s phone beeped, and he pulled it out to see a text from Gerard. He tapped a reply to say he was on his way.
“Thanks, Ambar. Gotta go. Gerard is waiting for me.” And with a quick wave, he left before she quizzed him about the new arrival.
Gerard was leaning against the driver’s door when Henry approached the vehicle.
“Are you all right?” he asked, his gaze probing.
“Yes. No. I don’t know!”
Gerard’s eyes widened a fraction before a grin curled across his face. “Which is it?”
“I’m fine.” Henry stomped to the passenger side. He placed the groceries in the rear and climbed into the front.
“Where did you go?”
Henry knew what his friend was asking but played dumb. “I purchased groceries since the fridge is bare with Dad and Megan away.”
Gerard nodded. “What did you decide we’d have for dinner?”
“Pasta. Garlic bread. Wine. Beer. Depends on what is in the pantry, maybe a dessert. Megan made lemon ice cream before she left.”
“Sounds good,” Gerard said as he started the vehicle and pulled out onto the main street. “I’ll help.”
Henry whipped around to focus on his friend. “Why?”
“No reason.”
“You’re gonna interrogate me.”
“Maybe.” There was a teasing note in Gerard’s voice.
“No matchmaking.” Henry made his statement firm and decisive, so there wasn’t a shred of wriggle room for Gerard to slide away from future responsibility. “Tell your delightful minx of a wife that if she tries to maneuver me, I will move out.”
That made Gerard jerk his attention from the road. “You wouldn’t.”
“I mean it, Gerard. My mate died, and I’ve lived with the dull pain ever since. It feels like a blunt knife shoved into your guts.” Henry recalled the instant of happiness he and Jenny had experienced before her ex had snatched her away. “I hope you never go through the same ordeal.”
“We want you happy.” Gerard had lost his teasing edge, his green gaze drilling into Henry with compassion.
Henry didn’t want people to feel sorry for his loss.
He was fine. He had family and friends, and if he wanted feminine companionship, he could travel to Queenstown.
He hadn’t yet because it was a temporary fix even if the bars and eateries bulged with single tourists, happy to share their time and bodies.
“London misses Jenny,” Gerard said.
Henry didn’t reply. What could he say? He hated to stress his friend. “Tell London I’m fine.”
“Your Dad and Megan worry about you.”
“I’m an adult. The four of you need to stop treating me like an invalid. I. Am. Fine.”
Gerard drove for a few minutes longer in silence.
Henry shot him a suspicious glance because he knew Gerard. Along with Sam, their friend who lived in Christchurch, they’d gone through a war together. They were tight and would do anything for each other. It was that part that made Henry pause. “What have you done?”
Gerard stopped in front of their house. Henry opened the door, and his barking dogs welcomed him home.
“Gerard?”
Gerard sighed, the sound harsh and weighty. “It wasn’t me. It was London. Know she does it from a place of love.”
“What did your mate do?” Henry didn’t hide the chill or the anger in his voice. He was tired of people thinking they knew better than him.
“London invited Maia for dinner.”
Henry cursed under his breath, the muscles of his shoulders tensing. “Why?”
“Maia doesn’t know anyone, and London wanted to welcome her.” Gerard paused and shot a glance at Henry. “And I’m sorry. I think a little matchmaking was going on when she invited Maia.”
Henry groaned.
“Sorry,” Gerard said. “I’ll tell London not to do it again without asking you first. She was extending a welcome because she liked Maia.”
Henry’s gut tangled in knots. He’d have to face this head-on.
He couldn’t run from this dinner because London and Gerard would question his reasons.
Yeah, his wolf wanted the younger woman, but no way Henry would let his animal half lead him by the nuts.
She was too young, and while she mightn’t be a virgin, his experience was worlds ahead of hers.
Yeah, he’d cook this stupid dinner and act polite.
“One dinner. That’s all. You will help me make it. One sign of blatant matchmaking, and I’ll leave. Tell London. I’m serious because I don’t need help. I have my love life handled.”
“You’re not seeing anyone.”
“London doesn’t know that.”
“I can’t lie to my mate.”
“You will if you don’t want me to leave. I don’t want London, Megan, or other well-meaning females interfering in my life.”
“Yeah, I get it. I wouldn’t like anyone managing me.”
“Thank you,” Henry said.
He climbed out of the vehicle, collected the box of groceries he’d purchased, and stalked into the house.
He left the groceries in the kitchen before seeking refuge in his bedroom.
Henry sank onto his bed and rested his head in his hands.
What the hell was he going to do? He doubted his ability to sit through a dinner with the woman.
He took his trembling hands away from his face. “Hell,” he muttered.
He stood abruptly and decided to spend half an hour with his dogs. He’d shift and play. That always calmed his wolf. Then he’d shower and start dinner.
He could do this. He would do this, and once this day was over, he’d take off a few days and drive to Queenstown because his control was at an all-time low. The last thing he wanted was to make a mistake that he couldn’t take back.