Chapter Eight
With three little boys with belly aches as the result of too much roast pork and sweets, the party from Dunster Castle returned home that afternoon.
Emberley rode in the carriage, her sleeping daughter cradled against her, as the cab bumped over the road back to the castle.
The boys were around her in various stages of discomfort and she found herself holding Orin as well as her daughter as they headed home.
She was quiet, subdued, her mind mulling over the situation with Gart.
She was sickened by it, confused, but also thrilled beyond measure.
It was too good to be true yet tragic at the same time.
Gart rode at the head of the column and she rode in the center.
He never said a word to her the entire trip back.
Once at the castle, Gart disbanded the escort and returned to the carriage for Emberley and the children.
Romney and Brendt were at the cab door as he approached and he was surprised that they were not clamoring to get out.
They just stood there, looking at him, until he opened the door and lowered them to the ground one by one.
Tired and nauseous, they simply stood there at his feet.
Orin, with the big belly ache, was next and cried softly as Gart set him on his feet.
He wasn’t happy in the least. Gerta, the fat old nurse with the thinning hair, was there to take charge of the children as Gart reached into the cab one last time to take the sleeping baby from Emberley.
Their eyes locked as he took the baby from her, bittersweet emotions passing between them even though no words were spoken.
The air was heavy between them yet infinitely tender.
Gart lowered his gaze as he collected the sleeping little girl against him, holding her carefully before passing her over to the nurse.
Gerta took the little girl, kissed her sleeping head, and led the children back towards the keep.
Gart finally returned his attention to Emberley, still sitting in the cab. She had been watching him but when she realized it was just the two of them, she started collecting the booty around her. She was having difficulty meeting his eye, not knowing what to say to the man.
Her head was in turmoil at the moment. The boys had their toy swords and shields, but Gart had returned to the perfume and soap merchant and had purchased several different sets of soaps and oils for Emberley.
There were several lovely painted boxes in the cab and she collected them, handing them over to Gart.
Gart took the six boxes in one hand and helped Emberley out with the other.
In the sunshine of the lazy afternoon, he took her politely by the elbow and escorted her up the stairs into the dark, cool keep.
It was quiet and still inside. Taking the stone spiral stairs to the third floor, they could hear the baby whining and the boys arguing as Gerta tried to settle them in for an afternoon nap.
Emberley continued to the fourth floor and her big, sprawling chamber, and Gart followed silently with the boxes.
The master’s chamber took up most of the fourth floor.
There was an enormous bed in the center, lavished with expensive furs and coverlets, and two oak chairs with feather-stuffed cushions.
Someone had banked the fire in the hearth and the coals glowed, providing a bit of warmth to stave off the cold in the room that the stone walls generated.
As soon as they entered the bower, Emberley turned to him and began taking the boxes.
She took three and went over to her dressing table, a piece of furniture made from oak, polished, and painted with flowers on one side.
There was a large mirror made from polished bronze but set in the middle of it was a much smaller mirror made from very precious polished glass.
It gave a true reflection and Emberley set the boxes of oils and soaps down on the table, returning to Gart to take the rest from him.
“Thank you very much for these wonderful gifts,” she said softly. “I am very grateful.”
Gart stood in the doorway, watching her carefully organize the boxes.
He didn’t say a word but he shifted on his big legs, watching her.
She pretended to be busy with her new items but he knew that her mind was on their situation just as his was.
He couldn’t think of anything else. It was like a fog that surrounded them in a confusing embrace. Very quietly, he closed the door.
Emberley heard the door close and thought he had left.
She paused in her organization of the boxes, closing her eyes against the turmoil in her chest. Now that Gart’s presence was no longer around to bewilder her, she could respond to the emotion she was feeling.
Everything came out in a heavy sigh. She dropped her hands from the boxes and sat heavily on the stool next to the dressing table, dragging a weary hand over her face.
“What are you thinking, kitten?” Gart asked softly.
Emberley gasped with surprise, turning to see that he was standing just inside the door. She took a deep breath to steady herself.
“I… I do not know,” she said honestly. “All I can feel is fear and joy. Thoughts of you make my heart sing and then just as quickly, I remember Julian and what he will do to me if he discovers us. He would kill me, Gart.”
“We have not done anything wrong. Yet.”
She heard the tone in his voice, feeling a bolt of excitement shoot through her body that just as quickly vanished. It was wrong of her to even entertain such thoughts and she angrily, sadly, pushed such ideas aside. She just couldn’t….
“We cannot,” she whispered. “Gart, please do not tempt me more than you already have. My life hangs in the balance – not yours.”
He moved away from the door, heading towards her with slow, thoughtful steps. He sighed heavily.
“I know,” he said in his soft, deep voice, sitting pensively at the foot of the bed. “I have thought of nothing else for quite some time. The only answer is to remove you and the children from Dunster.”
She looked at him, surprised. “You would take us away?”
He nodded, still very much deep in thought. “I cannot involve Lord David in this situation, so it would have to be somewhere far away and….”
“But you cannot,” she cut him off imploringly. “Think about what you are saying – you would take all of us from Dunster?”
“Aye.”
She shook her head strongly. “You cannot steal another man’s family, Gart. Julian would have you drawn and quartered.”
He countered. “He would never find us. We would leave England and go far away.”
He was deadly serious. She could read it in his face.
“Then there is something else,” she pointed out.
“Romney is the heir to the Buckland barony. What of his inheritance? It is his right and you, as someone who was denied his strong family ties, should understand that. Is it fair to Romney to take all of that away from him?”
Gart gazed steadily at her. “Would you rather have a son who is unhappy yet will inherit a wealthy barony or a son who is extremely happy but will not inherit a fraction of his due?”
She returned his gaze, seriously, so many thoughts and feelings rolling through her mind. “What are you saying?”
He lifted his eyebrows. “I am saying that I am offering to provide you and your children with a happy home. I would live like a pauper so long as you are with me, kitten. Money does not buy happiness, as you are well aware. But I swear to you that you would be rich in love, and I would love you and only you until the day I died.”
He had a valid point but she was still overwhelmed, confused. Wearily, she rose from the stool and went to the bed, plopping down beside him. She was despondent and depressed.
“It is a dream,” she murmured.
He stood up from the mattress, increasingly agitated as he paced away from her, hand to his head as if it would help him think more clearly.
“It is not a dream,” he told her firmly. “It is as real as flesh and blood and bone. We will leave tonight and never look back.”
He was speaking passionately and she exhaled lightly, rising from the bed and putting a hand on his arm to quiet him.
“For arguments sake, let us pretend that we will leave Dunster and never return,” she said softly.
“You and I could never legally marry, Gart. Any children you and I had would be bastards. Please know that I would run with you this very moment if it was just me but I must think of my children. I do not know if it is fair to them to make such a decision affecting their future. We would be selfish to think only of ourselves.”
He gently took her hand and brought it to his lips for a sweet kiss. “I am a selfish man,” he admitted quietly. “If I want something, I take it.”
“In this case, it is not that simple.”
He appeared downcast, his lips against her fingers. “I realize that,” he murmured. “But I am offering happiness and love for the rest of your life. You would never know fear from me, only protection and security. Does that not outweigh the lure of Julian and his empire?”
She watched him kiss her hand, feeling the excitement his warmth brought.
The only kiss she had ever known was Julian’s, and that didn’t compare to what Gart was doing.
The bolts of lightning were tearing through her.
Now, she was coming to understand what a kiss really meant. Gart had shown her that.
“As I said, if there was only myself to think about, there would be no question,” she whispered. “I would go with you this very moment. But we must think of the children.”
“I am thinking of the children. They cannot live their lives in fear of their father. Who is to say that when they grow older, Julian will not beat them also? Is Romney’s inheritance worth that risk?”