Prologue #4
Kellington cradled him as the surgeon, a man who had been with Jax’s army for many years, rushed over to inspect the damage.
Kellington managed to wrap her arms tightly around her husband, holding him against her as his blood stained her flesh, knowing that this was the end before the surgeon even told her that Jax would not survive his wounds.
Somehow, she just knew.
“I do not think any of us plan our days perfectly,” she said, gazing down into his pale face. “But you were doing a very brave thing to help your wounded soldiers. I expect nothing less from you.”
Jax tried to clear his throat but there was a good deal of blood clogging it. “They are my men,” he said simply. “They are willing to die for me. I should be willing to die for them.”
The surgeon was moving around her, quickly inspecting entry and exit wounds, but when she noticed the man had stopped, she glanced up at him. All she could see was a grim expression and she knew it was because there was no hope.
He didn’t have to say a word.
She returned her gaze to Jax’s dual-colored eyes, eyes she knew so well.
“You are the most noble man I know,” she said, struggling against the grief and agony that threatened.
It would do no good; it wouldn’t heal Jax.
And she very much wanted this moment between them to be peaceful and loving if it was to be their last. “When I first met you, you did not have a noble bone in your body, but you have redeemed yourself.”
“Do you think so?”
“I do.”
“I am afraid that God will not think so.”
“He will,” she assured him, warmth in her expression.
Then she glanced up, seeing her daughters Effington and Addington kneeling beside Jax with tears all over their faces.
Julian was at his father’s hip and he reached out to take one of his bloodied hands.
Kellington smiled at her children, at her husband.
“Look at these fine, strong people you have raised, Jax. Glorious sons and beautiful daughters. Only a man blessed by God would have such magnificent offspring.”
Jax tried to clear his throat again but all that came out was blood.
“It was you,” he muttered, speaking more slowly now.
“Everything I am, everything they are… it is all you. I have loved you… from the beginning of time and I shall… love you… until the end. I want you to know that, Kelli. You’ve made my life… worth living.”
Kellington pulled him closer, kissing his forehead. “And I shall love you even longer still,” she whispered. “You are a great man, Jax de Velt. You are the greatest man I have ever known and it has been my honor and privilege to be your wife.”
“Nay, love,” he muttered thickly. “It is I who have been privileged. But for this ending, I… I am… sorry. I… had hoped to die an old man, with you… by my side. Forgive me.”
She smoothed his hair away from his face, tenderly.
“For what?” she said. “We have had a wonderful life, you and I. It will not end here. I will see you again. But until I do, know that I shall miss you every hour of every day. I will miss your warmth and humor and stubbornness. I will miss everything about you. Even if we do not die together, old and gray, know I am the most fortunate woman in the world because of you.”
His eyes, which had been drooping, suddenly opened again and he looked at her. “I do not want to leave you.”
“I know.”
“Do not leave me.”
“I will not. I will stay right here.”
“Are you… you still holding me?”
“I am, Jax.”
“Hold me tighter.”
Kellington squeezed him. “Is that better, my pet?”
Jax’s eyes closed and a lone tear streamed from his right eye, down his temple. “Kelli?” he murmured.
“Aye?”
“Where are you?”
“Right here. I am with you. We are all with you.”
“Where is Julian?”
Focus shifted to Julian, who had been watching the scene with complete horror and agony. He was so choked up that he could hardly speak. “I am here, Papa,” he whispered. “I am right here.”
Jax squeezed his hand weakly. “Do not be afraid, Julian,” he muttered. “Whatever life brings you… do not be afraid.”
Julian broke down, tears streaming from his eyes. “I won’t, Papa, I promise.”
“Your… your time will come. But you must… find that greatness yourself.”
“I will try to, Papa.”
“Tell your brothers… tell them I love them,” he rasped. “Cass… he is my heart. Our last words were… in anger. Do… do not let him feel guilty because of it. And Cole… he is my soul. Tell them how proud I am of them.”
“I will, Papa.”
“Addie? Effie?”
The two younger daughters were sobbing quietly. “We’re here, Papa,” Effington, the older one, said as she touched his cheek. “We’re here. We love you.”
Jax’s breathing was becoming erratic. “Be happy,” he said breathlessly. “I… I love you both very much. Go with Julian now. I want… want to be alone with your mother.”
Julian lifted his father’s hand, kissing it, before leading his sisters away.
The women were sobbing, heading off into the small solar of the keep, as Julian paused at the entry and watched them go.
He was just so overwhelmed with everything that he felt as if he were living a nightmare.
Everything was closing in on him, swallowing him up with grief until he could hardly breathe.
After a moment, he turned to see Ashton standing in the keep entry.
The man had tears in his eyes.
“Back to the wall, Ash,” he commanded quietly. “Tell Tristan what has happened, but do not tell them men. Some may have seen what happened, but most did not. It may kill their morale to know what has happened to my father, so do not… tell them yet.”
Ashton quickly wiped his eyes. “I will not,” he said. “Tristan and I will hold the line. You must be with your father at this time.”
Julian simply nodded. Ashton put a comforting hand on his shoulder before departing the keep, heading out to the wall and shouting to the men.
Julian watched him go a moment before returning his attention to his father and mother.
Kellington was still holding Jax tightly, her cheek against his forehead, rocking him gently.
The sight broke Julian’s heart.
As he stood there and blinked back tears, the old surgeon came over to him.
“I cannot help your father, lad,” he said in his usual raspy tone. “The wounds are too great. There was no chance.”
“I know.”
“He’s a strong man. A lesser man would have been killed right away.”
Julian struggled to swallow the lump in his throat. “My father is no ordinary man.”
The surgeon, who had been with the de Velt army for several years, simply nodded. “I’ll be with the men in the solar but send for me when your mother is ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“To take your father away.”
Julian couldn’t believe he was hearing those words. So much of him was in denial at the moment that he simply couldn’t grasp that his father was dying. It had all happened so fast. Five minutes ago, his father was alive and well, but now…
Now, he was passing into legend.
As he watched his parents in a scene he would never be able to forget, as if it were branded into his memory, he didn’t see his father moving at all, so perhaps he was already dead.
The battle that Julian had thought so ridiculously weak had become the worst battle he’d ever faced in his life. Most certainly the costliest.
Do not underestimate John, his father had said.
God help him, he’d been right.
But he couldn’t allow the grief to fill him.
If he did, he would be unable to function.
There was still a battle going on and with his father down, it was now up to him.
The timid knight who lacked self-confidence now found himself in command of mighty Pelinom Castle and John wasn’t going to lay his goddamned hands on Pelinom while Julian had breath left his body.
Instead of grief filling his veins, hatred did.
Hatred for the king who killed his father.
With a lingering look to his parents, Julian headed out into the bailey where another barrage of arrows had come down but no one had been hit this time. Everyone was staying under cover now.
And that went on for the rest of the day.
When evening finally fell, John’s army had retreated enough to convince Julian and Ashton and Tristan that they were finally pulling out.
They’d been unable to break Pelinom, at least not in a way they could see.
The walls stood, but inside, the damage had indeed been done.
Terrible damage that was the worst possible outcome in the death of Jax de Velt.
When Julian finally entered the keep after sunset to see what had become of his mother and father, he found his mother sitting on the ground where he’d left her, still holding what was now his father’s cooling corpse and from what Julian was told, no one could make her release him.
Julian didn’t even try.
In fact, he stood guard over his mother and father all night, a silent witness to their last embrace on this earth.
A silent witness to the conclusion of a love story for the ages.
Even when they finally managed to take Jax away to remove the bolts to prepare the man for burial, Kellington never left his side. The entire time, she never left him.
And neither did Julian.
For The Dark Lord, he showed him that respect.
For his father, he showed him that love.
Farewell, Papa…