Chapter 5 #2
There was magic in metals. It began as wisps of energy in metal ores, growing increasingly concentrated as the ores were refined.
By the time the metals were forged into objects, each of them contained a significant amount of magic.
And as the metal parts of an object moved and interacted with each other, their magic changed, turning the object sentient.
It was how locks could smile, faucets could bite, and shopping carts could frolic in the parking lots of grocery stores.
A shopping cart raced past with squeaky wheels, coming so close that it ran over the toes of Crush’s boots.
“Hey,” Crush said sternly.
The cart slowed to a halt, turning around slowly. As though it had just realized it had done something wrong.
“Yeah, you. You ran over my toes,” Crush said, reaching out to grab its handle. The cart wriggled in delight. “No more running over my toes, okay? I need you to be a good cart for me.”
Killian froze. If Crush had worded his sentence just a little differently, if he had said I need you to be a good omega for me...
His cheeks grew hot.
Crush glanced at him sidelong. Had he heard Killian’s heart stumble? Had he smelled Killian’s arousal?
“What?” Killian said defensively.
Crush’s grin was all sharp teeth. “Would you like to be a good cart for me too, bunny rabbit?”
“A—A good cart?!” Killian spluttered. “What? How? Are you going to put your goods inside me? Is this some kind of weird roleplay?”
Crush laughed then, all hearty and rich. “I could put a bun in your cargo basket.”
Killian’s face burned. “Oh gods.”
With a smile over his shoulder, Crush grasped the cart’s handle and wheeled it into the general store.
His grip was firm, his stride confident.
“Why am I reading all this into him pushing a cart?” Killian whined. “He’s just pushing a cart! But it also isn’t just that. His hands are so strong. It’s like he could hold me down or snap me in half or—”
“I’m not snapping you in half, Kil,” Crush said dryly, without breaking his stride.
“Oh gods, he heard,” Killian whimpered. He knows I want him to hold me down! Fuck! Then he realized how far ahead Crush was, and scrambled to catch up.
Inside, the store was brightly lit, the different sections marked out with colorful forest-themed signboards.
The grocery section took up most of the space, although Crush made a quick detour to grab some medical supplies, fire-lighting equipment, and automobile things.
They spent the longest time in the grocery section.
“Grab anything that sounds good to you,” Crush said.
Killian gaped. “Even if it’s expensive?”
“Especially those. But try to keep the volume down. I only have one freezer.”
What kind of person shopped based on the volume of their freezer?
“You didn’t buy more freezers?” Killian blurted.
Crush huffed. “I had not anticipated a guest going on a shopping spree.”
Killian felt flattered. And also disbelieving. “But you don’t even know how much money I’ll spend.”
“I have more money than you can spend, sweetheart. I don’t mind if you use some of it.”
Killian gaped, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But Crush just kept pushing the cart around, frowning at his phone.
“C’mon, we’re on a time limit.”
Imagine being more concerned about time than money, Killian thought.
When they walked by the cheese aisle, Crush picked out a wedge of the most expensive hard cheese. He grabbed a block of expensive butter too, the kind wrapped in gold foil.
At the bread aisle, Crush handed Killian a loaf of bread.
“A bun for your cargo basket,” Crush murmured, the corners of his lips twitching.
Killian blushed bright red. “This is so inappropriate. I’m surprised no one has called the police.”
“That’s because I haven’t unleashed the most criminal jokes.”
“Like what?”
Crush pulled out a familiar pink book. Where had he been hiding it? More importantly, why did he have 699 Pickup Lines For Your Wriggly Heart Muffin on his person?
Crush flipped to a page at random and began to read.
“‘My tongue and your tongue should take a vacation together. We can explore each other’s Mouth Tunnels Of Love with whipping motions like a sea creature trying to escape its prison. That’s because my tongue is actually a sea creature trapped in my mouth; its only desire is to leave my body and burrow into yours. Like a parasite.’”
Killian stared. “Oh holy fucking rabbit gods. I did not just hear that.”
Crush snapped the book shut and tucked it away, grinning again. “Yes, you just did.”
“My ears are bleeding. Has anyone actually gotten together because of those lines?”
“The author, Dicky Mems, claims that his pickup lines are how he landed his alpha. According to his author bio, he’s happily married to his ‘husband muffin’.”
“Wow.”
“Hey, different strokes for different folks. You know how the saying goes.” Except there was an odd look on Crush’s face. It was a little... bittersweet? Wistful?
It was such an unexpected look on him, this vulnerability, that Killian froze.
The words fell out of his mouth before he could think. “Do you... want to be courted with terrible pickup lines?”
Crush blinked. Then he beamed, his eyes lighting up. “Are you offering?”