Chapter 14 Crush Comforts Killian
CRUSH COMFORTS KILLIAN
Crush was scouting the surrounding forest when he heard the scream.
Killian?
He dropped his freshly picked flowers and raced back to the cabin, stretching out his hearing. He hadn’t sensed a threat; Hansel would’ve notified him before anyone could get close.
Why was Killian screaming, then?
He slammed through the back door, following the sound all the way to his bedroom. Hansel was standing in the hallway with his hands over Naddie’s ears, but the baby looked distraught, too.
“I’ll fix this,” Crush said to them. He braced himself and knocked on the bedroom door, before opening it slowly. “Killian?”
No gunshots or whistling knives.
Crush carefully poked his head past the door. What he saw broke his heart.
Killian was tangled up in his nest, hugging himself and rocking back and forth. He had dragged several pillows up around him, tears streaking his cheeks.
Crush knocked on the door again, more loudly.
Killian looked over. Abruptly, he stopped screaming. Instead, he whimpered and curled into a tiny ball.
Crush slowly shut the door. Then he carefully approached, hunching a little to make himself less threatening. “Hey, sweetheart. Whatever it is, I’m going to make it better, okay?”
Killian looked up at him, fresh tears rolling down his face. “I fucked up.”
“Oh, bunny.” Crush kicked off his shoes and climbed into the nest, mindful of where he placed his feet because Killian was still partly burrowed under the pillows.
He knelt in front of Killian and cupped his face, brushing the wetness off his cheeks. “You’re safe here. No one’s going to hurt you.”
Killian sucked in a slow, shaky breath. “Really?”
“I’ll do my very best to protect you and Naddie.”
Killian sagged, leaning closer. As though he wanted more comfort.
So Crush gathered his omega into his arms and laid them both down, encouraging Killian to nuzzle into his chest. He rolled on top of Killian to shield him with his body, but left a tiny space to the side, so Killian could squirm away if he wanted.
“Is this better?” Crush murmured, stroking Killian’s hair. “Do you feel safer like this?”
Killian nodded, tugging Crush closer even though their chests were already pressed together, with no space between them.
For a long while, Crush held him, dropping kisses on Killian’s hair and rubbing more of his scent into Killian’s skin. He rocked Killian from side to side, sliding his hand up the back of Killian’s T-shirt for more skin contact.
Slowly, Killian stopped shaking. His pulse evened out. Crush continued to pet him, savoring the smallness of his omega in his arms.
“He’s dangerous,” Killian said suddenly.
A chill slithered down Crush’s spine. “Who’s dangerous?”
“Albert Bleu.” Killian shuddered, tucking himself more firmly into Crush’s chest. “He wasn’t there when I killed everyone else. I can’t believe I missed that! For years! I should’ve counted them, I should’ve set a trap, I—”
“What did he do to you?” Crush almost didn’t want to know. But he had to. And he had to stop Killian from blaming himself.
“The alphas—they trained us to fight and use weapons. Some of them were cruel about it. But Bleu was the worst with hurting omegas; he claimed he did it to make us stronger. Several times, I thought he was going to kill me. The training was just his excuse.”
Crush swallowed the rage that tried to consume him. It was really fucking difficult, when all he could think about was an alpha hurting Killian for fun.
He looked at Killian again, at the silvery lines and splotches all over his arms.
Through all of today, through all the times they had mated, not once had Killian removed his shirt.
But there were enough scars on the other parts of him, for Crush to know that the rest of his body hadn’t been spared.
“Your scars... How many of them were from the jobs, and how many were from the alphas who trained you?”
Crush had his answer even before Killian opened his mouth; Killian’s expression was bleak. “Most of them were from my kidnappers. I became good enough that the jobs didn’t hurt me much at all.”
Crush wanted to punch a wall. He wanted to smash those fuckers and end them. But most of them were already dead. He drew a deep breath. “Will you... show me the rest of your scars?”
Killian chewed his lip. Ever so slowly, he nodded.
When Crush leaned back to give him space, Killian lifted his shirt off his head. It revealed an expanse of skin: puckered in some places, scarred in others. Injuries that were badly healed, injuries from burns, knives, and bullets.
Crush’s chest hurt. Then he realized he couldn’t seek out Killian’s remaining abuser; it would mean leaving his omega behind, unprotected.
Damn it!
Carefully, he touched his fingertips to the closest scar. It was a divot in Killian’s skin, remnants of a deeper wound where the flesh had not grown back completely. The next scar was a long thin line, healed jaggedly. Other scars were layered over it; stab scars and old burn wounds.
He trailed his fingers all over Killian’s chest and stomach, horrified by the sheer number of injuries Killian had experienced. Crush didn’t have this many scars, and he was just as proficient in fighting as Killian was, if not more.
Killian watched him warily. “Sorry, they’re kind of ugly.”
Crush stared at him, stunned. “Sweetheart. Why the hell would you say they’re ugly? None of these were your fault.”
The omega shrugged and looked away. “I was too slow to prevent them. Too weak. I never wanted to be there.”
“You were never meant to be in those situations,” Crush growled. “They took advantage of you. You had no fighting experience. It’s not your fault.”
Crush caught Killian’s chin, tipping his face up so their gazes locked.
“I admire you,” Crush murmured. “I think you’re beautiful. And I don’t want to give you a reason to be ashamed of these scars. You don’t have to hide them from me.”
Killian stared at Crush for a very long time. Then he drew a shuddering breath. “I want to believe what you just said.”
“Good. Take your time. It doesn’t have to be right now, but I’d like you to get there someday.”
Killian nodded, sagging against Crush. “Okay.”
Crush hugged him again, rubbing his back. His omega was so strong and yet so delicate.
“Do they hurt?” Crush asked gently.
Killian smiled a little. Did Crush remember him asking that same question? “Some more than others, and some days are better than the rest.”
“Good thing I have a supply of lotions,” Crush said. “Use them whenever you want.”
“Thank you.” After a bit of lip-biting, Killian snuggled closer, tucking his nose against Crush’s skin. “If you don’t mind... I’d like to know how you got your scar. The one on your face.”
The scar in question twinged with phantom pain. “Yeah, alright,” Crush agreed with a sigh. “I owe you a few stories. But I’m not proud of this one. Actually, I’m really fucking ashamed of it.”
“Why?”
Crush thought briefly about giving Killian the edited version, the one he gave everyone else. But Killian had seen enough crap, done enough things he regretted, to understand in a way no one else would.
He sighed, nudging his lips against Killian’s ear so he wouldn’t have to look his omega in the eye.
“I was young. Your age, probably younger. The age when all alphas are cocksure of themselves. Back then, my brothers and I were just starting out on the streets, learning to fight and growing into our skills. I had just discovered the thrill of saving someone. More than that, I had gotten a taste of accomplishing it all by myself, without any help.”
“Yeah,” Killian said quietly. “I know that feeling.”
“You do? You’re an only child with no siblings to compete against.”
“I had competition in that prison. Everyone wanted to be the best omega so they wouldn’t get punished.”
Crush rubbed his face. “Fuck. That’s right.”
“Enough about me, tell me more.”
“Back then, I was working part-time at a garage,” Crush said, the memories heavy and rounded like a river stone he’d rubbed too many times. “One day, a customer came in talking on the phone about a job; he said he had some omegas lined up ready to go.”
Killian stiffened. “What did you do?”
Another sigh. “There was this senior mechanic at the shop that I really wanted to impress. He didn’t take students, and I badly wanted to learn how to build my own car.”
“So you went to investigate that customer on your own.”
“Yeeeah.” Crush sighed. “I tailed him from a distance and eavesdropped on his call. That night, I waited near his meeting location so I could jump in and stall their operations. But.”
“Did you tell anyone where you were going?” Killian asked warily. Was he.... afraid? For Crush?
“No,” Crush admitted. “I didn’t want anyone telling me I was an idiot, or that things would go wrong, or that I shouldn’t go.”
“Oh no,” Killian whispered.
“They must’ve had a shape shifter with them; I was far enough that most people wouldn’t be able to pinpoint my location. But someone caught me.”
“No!” Killian clutched Crush’s hand.
“The shape shifter snuck up on me and hit me with a tranq dart. I didn’t hear them until it was too late.
By the time I woke up, I was tied up. I could hear the captured omegas fighting to escape, but whatever they dosed me with, it made me so weak that I couldn’t free myself,” Crush muttered.
“I still had my phone on me somehow. But then my idiot self wanted the bragging rights of escaping without help.” Killian hid his face.
“So I didn’t call anyone. Just tried to get free.
Which—you guessed it. Didn’t work. I wasn’t at all prepared for that situation.
Didn’t have knives, didn’t have escape training.
The ropes were too high up for me to use my claws. ”
Killian dug his fingers into Crush’s side, his eyes wide. “What happened next?”