Chapter 17 #2
This still surprised Killian, that Crush liked him enough to do that. “No one has spent this much effort on me before.”
Crush narrowed his eyes. Then he hugged Killian more tightly. “You’re mine now. I’ll give it all to you.”
“That also sounds like a line from porn.”
Which was possibly the least romantic thing Killian could say. He groaned.
The alpha laughed. “Anything can be a line in porn if someone wants it badly enough. One of the dragon brothers, Zenith, he writes books. Not too long ago, he showed us this thing he had written.”
Something in his voice made Killian curious. “It... wasn’t good?”
“It was terrible, and he wrote it into a sex scene just to see if he could. He was so fucking proud when it got published.”
Killian frowned. “Why would he be proud of it?”
“Because no other sex scene would have lines like that.” Crush laughed, unlocking his phone. He opened up a chat and did a quick search, before showing Killian his screen. “Tell me I’m right. It’s a terrible line, isn’t it?”
Zenith
Y’all, check this out. I’m gonna be so famous.
Bruiser
Famous for what?
Zenith
Patience, young lizard
Bruiser
For the last time, I’m not a lizard!
Uriel
No, you’re a gecko. Prissy and show off-y but ultimately a scrawny reptile.
Bruiser
Scrawny? What the hell, mage? I’ll show you “scrawny”
Uriel
Sounds like someone is overcompensating.
Bruiser
How fucking dare
Zenith
Aww, enemies to lovers, how cute.
Bruiser
... What?
Uriel
Please don’t label me with something from your tropes list. Thanks.
Bruiser
What the hell is a tropes list?
Telos
ZENITH. SHUT UP OR YOU’RE OUT.
Ace
Yeah, don’t spoil things, lil bro.
Zenith
Oooops. ANYWAY. You guys stole my thunder!
I just wrote this paragraph for a sex scene. It’s so bad, it’s good.
Behold:
Xilane pumped his hips as though he was pumping gas for the next monster truck competition.
With a melodious roar, he pulled out and ejaculated all over his omega like a musical fountain, complete with flashing lights and drone footage.
His cum did not stop flowing. He had to grip himself at the base and swing his cock around like a lasso, using the centrifugal force to eject his last microscopic passengers.
Telos
Brb im cryinggg
Duke
What did I just read?
Uriel
Uhhh.
Titan
Is that going to make it through the editor?
Raptor
That will win you a Dicky Mems award, Zenith. It’s good enough to go into 699 Pickup Lines.
Telos
You should write more of that. It should be on every single page of your book
Ace
No! As much as I loved reading it, I also want Zen to sell many copies of his books. So no. No more weird sex scene lines!!! Keep it unweird for the normies!
Telos
Pfft! Who wants to be normal???
Zenith
I actually have more.
Crush
Holy gods, Zen.
Ace
Oh??? Tell me!!!
Crush
You just said no to more terrible lines, Ace
Ace
I said the normies would hate them. But me, I want to bathe in these lines. Moisturize my scaly skin with them. Wear them like cucumbers on my eyes.
Zenith
Xilane dipped his fingers into his cum and brought them to his lips, giving them a chef’s kiss. Then he painted his face with his own jizz and did an interpretive dance on the bed. “Feel the moonlight,” he cried. “Feel it tingle your balls and exit through your cock!”
Raptor
I would wrap those words around my peen and jerk off with them, only to jizz rainbow starshine
“Oh gods,” Killian said faintly. “That... was published?”
Crush nodded gravely. “We had to give Zenith a toast. No one expected that insanity to make it through the editor’s cut. And it sold so many copies. We suspect it was because all the Butler Brothers bought one each to display it proudly on their shelves.”
“We did,” came Hansel’s disembodied voice. He sounded hushed and reverent. “We even have those lines framed in our bedrooms. Autographed.”
Killian broke down laughing. “That’s... That’s incredible.”
“Isn’t it? I think it gave Zenith a complex because he didn’t just want to write books for the Butler Brothers; he wanted to write books that appealed to other readers too.”
“He arrived at a compromise,” Hansel crowed. “Every other week, he slips us a chapter of The One True Pickup Line on his Peentreon subscription website. It’s a blast. You should join it. The Buttler Bros fight to be the first to read the updates.”
Killian could only imagine the insanity that was Zenith’s new book.
Crush huffed and texted the group chat.
Crush
Kil and I are having a bit of trouble with some kidnappers from his past. They’ve been tracking him with magic and have followed us to my cloaked cabin.
We’ve dealt with them but can’t stay here—they know our location.
So we’re heading back to my pack for a bit of extra protection. Any help will be appreciated. Thanks.
Titan
You’re coming down tonight?? Geez, lil pupper bro, give the fam some warning before you tumble through the door.
Crush
Don’t call me that! He’s looking at my screen!
Titan
Awwww
Does K know about the time you hid Dad’s birthday cake in your bed?
Crush
NO. DON’T TELL HIM. That’s fucking embarrassing. I don’t need him to know that.
Killian frowned. “But I want to know.”
Crush glanced over, his expression filled with dismay. “Sweetheart, that’s... That’s an embarrassing memory. I’m horrified by my past self.”
Hansel snickered. “It’s an amazing story.”
Killian chewed his lip, wanting to know, but at the same time not wanting to betray Crush’s trust.
Crush took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you. One day.”
Killian squeezed Crush’s arm, humbled by how much the alpha was willing to give him. “Okay. Thank you.”
Crush nuzzled him and continued to type into his phone.
Crush
Anyway, this is your warning. We’re still at my cabin. We’re a couple of hours out.
Raptor
“Kil”? I didn’t know you and Killian were buddies
Crush
A lot of things happened today. We’ve gotten familiar with each other.
Duke
“Familiar”?
Ace
That’s totally sus. How familiar is “familiar”?
Titan
Familiar like you know his favorite color, or familiar like you had your face in his ass?
Crush
He’s looking over my shoulder!!!!! Don’t say shit like that!
Bruiser
But you didn’t answer the question
Crush
He’s MINE. Paws off.
Hansel
The answer is “face in ass”, btw
Crush
HANSEL, WTF
“Hansel!” Crush bellowed, his face turning red.
“What?” came Hansel’s voice. “You know they’re already going to smell it on you. I’m just giving them time to brace themselves. Not everyone wants to be confronted with the smell of your bedroom activities.”
“Oh gods,” Killian whimpered, burying his face in his hands. “You told them!”
The alpha froze, suddenly wary. “Should I not have? Do you not want to be mine?”
It was still too soon. Killian blushed hotly. “It hasn’t even been a day! You haven’t courted me enough!”
Crush’s eyes grew round. “I will court you, then.”